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Then the only way there’s a difference is the way people talk about it then? Because this sub still instantly assumes a man’s cheating if he’s done something small as well, I do agree that the language is probably disgusting though. Though I do think that language is rare as I’ve genuinely never really seen it, I’ve seen people say things like “she belongs to the streets” which is just the female equivalent of the “kick him to the curb thing” but I’ve never seen people literally call them slurs and get away with it. these subreddits tend to just not like cheaters in general.
I call my girl ‘mommy’ almost every day, in and out of the bedroom. But she enjoys it, so.. just letting you know it’s not that weird
yeah, I'm trying to figure out why the downvotes… you're right on target.
He has a psychiatrist and has adhd and another unnamed mood disorder, we havent found out yet. He can't control his anger but I can control how I react to it. I want to be there to support him and I need help figuring out how.
Exactly. I mean if that’s the case though and there’s some type of dysfunction that he wants to hide, then atleast share that with me instead of beating around the bush and acting like it’s NORMAL to wait years to introduce someone to your family ??♀️
Thankyou for your advice I will google it.
Okay, so it's not obvious to me from your post if you already tried to talk to him about how he makes you feel, but I would probably approach him on his day off for start, when he is calm and not in a sour mood.
I have a mother who is the same way, as in she is angry at everyone and anyone who comes her way when she is in a bad mood, or something minor bad thing happens to her. She can't differentiate who she is angry with. For her it doesn't really work to talk about the issue, when it's not present, because she denies it, but it might with your SO. So if it doesn't, I learned that being direct, and throwing it in their face that you do not deserve this treatment, usually works in the long run. I know you love him and want to make him feel better on instinct, but that doesn't seem to work.
Tell him honestly that he is making your life really difficult. Ask him if he is really angry at you, or just his situation? Don't walk on eggshells around him. He is already in an unsufferable mood on his work days, so don't try to make it better, because he is not acting rationally.
If it continues I would probably think about breaking up. I had to suffer my mothers moods, because I was a minor and lived with her, but you do not have to. The other commenter is right that this is no way to live in the long run.
You need to break up with him. This relationship is toxic. Look, imma be real with you. I'm glad that you owned up to your shitty behavior. There are too many people suffering from DV that aren't believed due to bullshit like you threatened him with. You got in an argument and you went so low that the bar is in hell. I was very much like you because I needed to work on me. Perhaps you should do that as well. What's the point of “winning” the argument if you “won” through fear and threats.
To answer your question yes your boyfriend is crazy. You triggered his nightmare. He's spiraling and going in defense mode. It would be healthy if you offer a sincere apology and then break up. I say this with compassion but, you fucked up. Your current relationship is hurting each other, tearing strips off of each other and turning you both into terrible people.
I believe your “bf” is lying to you about ruining his friendship. If they're still talking, it's still going on…just more undercover.