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  1. If she has a job she can just do whatever she wants and ignore her family.

    Now for other options. If you stay with her she may or may not come around to be happy with you and perhaps “love” you in one form or another. Or she might not.

    Have you had sex yet? You might think it silly since you aren't married, but for non muslims not having sex by that point would the silly thing. What I mean is that assuming you would decie to stay together you should check em… sexual compatibility. If you were to stay with her at the very least you shouldn't need to suffer from “dead bedroom”.

    You should talk to her about this past boyfriend of hers. Assuming she has some financial independence she may move out of her parents and try to pursue her relation with her ex bf. Now of course assuming he isn't done with her for abandoning him. Which he likely is. Still if you want to even entertain marrying your fiance you need to know whether her ex bf will ever come into picture again. If yes, then of of course you can't stay with her, let's have some dignity here.

    She might want to use you to get independent from her family and then once she is financially secure either just divorce you. As much I can understand it would be much easier for her, she can't expect you to waste your life for her convenience.

  2. I'm not saying all porn is bad – when I say porn I am referring to mainstream porn and the mainstream pornographic industry.

    If all one’s watching is women getting gang fucked or even just sex between a man and a woman where no foreplay happens for the woman and she just gets fucked without being warmed up, then of course a guy will likely start to view a woman as merely a sexual object.

    I agree with this point – the problem is that you are describing mainstream pornography. It seems like a gangbang / bukkake is a rite of passage for pornstars nowadays. Mainstream porn is completely devoid of both foreplay and intimacy – it is where the youth of today are primarily learning about sex, so of course these become learned behaviours as they emulate what they see on screen.

    To conclude that porn is an evil because a certain sector of the industry promotes an unrealistic, harmful ideal and affects the way some men view women

    Again, this isn't the conclusion I have arrived at, but the vast majority of porn is created by men for men and is done so via a patriarchal and misogynistic lens. Until that changes (and I don't see it changing any time soon) people will continue to be negatively influenced and harmed by what is currently a largely misogynistic (and frankly toxic) industry. It is a very real problem and needs to be talked about in greater detail. Many parents shy away from the conversation of sex as a whole, utterly failing their kids in the process.

  3. …And probably terrified that any interaction with OP would be seen as an opening for him to ramp up the harassment and stalking behavior.

  4. Oh someone even said, she’s doing weird things but they don’t come from a place of malice… I think to myself, stfu… but I get it, this is Reddit and a woman doing these things is considered off while a man doing them would be abusive. It’s actually starting to bother me more than it should. Reddit is a hobby, or a bad habit, but real people do write these posts and comments so the double standard in abuse cases is still going strongly in 2023. I think there’s A LOT of men out there in the world~ in serious danger who don’t EVER talk about it.

  5. ER does have a shortage because so many people are moving from XR to ER. I know because my pharmacy doesn’t have my scrip.

  6. I don’t see you both moving past this without a professional that helps you navigate this. Particularly to help her actually grow up because her reaction was not okay and her actions are VERY disturbed.

    It’s one thing to discuss some details of intimacy with your girl friends, with a foundation of respect (!!) but it’s entirely different to photograph people doing sexual things and then share that around. She literally shared porn that she took of you without your consent!

  7. Im not hung up on the scenario. This question did not affect my mood or my relationship with my wife in the slightest. I was just asking for other opinions after the talk and then had to deal with people being up in arms all emotionally on the internet. But it seems people aren't willing to see the whole picture and both perspectives, or we aren't talking about the same thing. People are just saying get over it but aren't seeing that it is hard scenario to get over if it ever did. I could be struck by lightning the next time i go to the mail box, the odds are slim but it could happen that's not gonna stop me from getting my mail. This isn't an immature question, would you eat my booger for 5 bucks is a immature question.

  8. I’ve done this before. Take the guy’s number, don’t give him mine, get away ASAP, never call, hope he gets the hint. Whereas telling them I had a boyfriend/was engaged/married usually didn’t phase them and led to more badgering. “Take my number anyway, call me if you need a friend ;)” kind of shit. She used a defense mechanism, she wasn’t unfaithful to you – what do you think you should be worried about?

    The guys I never called never approached me again, but your fiancée might not be so lucky. Ask her how you can help her feel safe.

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