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JanneYoung Public Chat Channel
Date: November 24, 2022
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WeekendPussy
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Don't be with someone just because you are lonely, that will definitely lead to bad relationships for sure.
I think for the most part you are going to have to compromise more by either letting it be or by doing more of the work yourself. If you are passionate about being spotless then that's your choice.
See if she’s interested in a copper IUD maybe? I know it’s a bit painful but then you wouldn’t have to be as concerned about it until it came out. Or maybe look into a vasectomy. Either way, unprotected sex with no form of contraception is an awful plan if you don’t want children.
Literally no one claimed that but ok.
That's perfect! Just remember to allow yourself to enjoy it and to speak up when it isn't. Best of luck!
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Hey thanks for responding. I have been letting him to lead. Like you, I am also confused ?
What she’s thinking of is Polyamory. It involves committed serious relationships between >2 people.
She may feel that an “open relationship” means that, but it’s not. It’s just a name for a couple that isn’t monogamous.
I am so glad it went well! I'm proud of your dad as well, I know firsthand how horrible addiction is and I'm glad he made it out.
Yes she is tired and I always make sure to give her the rest she needs. Am not forcing her to do stuff it’s just that when we have the chance to have sex it just feels robotic and she’s like “let’s get this over with”. As for kinks, I haven’t explored much because I just can’t talk to her about it because she does not want to talk much about sex stuff.
Re-read rule 7
You both wanted something else from the relationship initially. Remember what those things were and get out. Get back to a normal way of life and find a decent guy.
Do you want someone to pay for everything and do everything for you in exchange for sex or do you want a relationship?
Just don't tell her till you get back. Very important, don't tell lots of people till after the fact. She will give you hell for it, but she will give you more hell if you tell her before you go.
Good luck to you and the lad
My young friend, take it from someone twice your age – you will absolutely find a new happy. But perhaps it’s worth the consideration that your season in each other’s lives may be over. And that’s ok ?
He's a 30+ year old man and FATHER . If those things won't change him to mature then he isn't going to. Not until he's realized no one will put up wh that shit and finds someone else to start fresh. But at this point with you …nope. you've already let too much slide for too long and he doesn't actually respect you as a grown and independent woman. You know this since you have already broken up with him. Best thing you can do is get all your chickens in a row to be able to move out into your own place and figure out custody arrangements.
Make sure to have ur exit plan before u do.
And make sure to get a DNA test before u sign papers.
Also, foward those messages to her HR
If all you’re wanting is a dinner, then that would totally work.
OP do what you think is best for you (my suggestion was just my personal opinion).
Require the same from her.
Inviting a conversation in which she asks for an explanation as to why he’s being controlling will only encourage him to invent more excuses to control her. You can’t reason with an unreasonable person.
Just ask him to take a photo the next time she is in or ask him to text you when they come in next so you can catch her in the act.
I’m also in the wife’s situation, mentally stable though with the occasional sadness from being disabled. My situation got worse after giving birth though since I was wrongly diagnosed and we now have a daughter with a 50/50 chance to get it. We did however already knew that a lot of the caretaking would land on my husbands plate. We made this conscience decision.
Taking care of my daughter has been harder than anything else in my life in terms of psychical impact. Together with an ergo therapist we’ve put my energy levels into numbers. My daily energy: 16, working 8 hours: 34, taking care of my daughter: 42. And this was when she was already sleeping through the night. Add no sleep into the mix and you will be burned out in no time.
My husband is caring, understanding and willing to do everything for our family. And even he has times that he’s clearly giving me every signal of caregivers fatigue.
I don’t really have any advice, it’s just a sad situation overall and in all honesty hope my husband doesn’t post similar things somewhere.
Look, I answered a damn question. I'm not here having a debate over whether it's weird or not. You think it's weird, good for you.
Eh. Everybody changes at those ages. Often enough that usually those relationships don't last because you wind up such different people anyway.
Weed isn't super expensive where I am, so idk. It's been a few years since I've smoked at this point. Maybe it's more expensive now.
Sounds like you're not ready for a relationship. Relationships involve doing things with the partner. Why are you with her of you don't want to spend time with her? Just sex? Let her go spend that time with someone who would be glad to hang out with her. She deserves better.
You don't have to prove anything, he's overreacting, imo. If this is an issue for him, maybe reevaluate things.
Oh I see. Thanks for your advice. I personally think he was very manipulative. I think she knows that, but she is scared to cut ties. She feels a heavy loss and feels indebted to him due to what happened. She cheated on him originally, with me – and now she feels terrible, and thinks she owes a great debt. Her friendship.
They don’t have food and water?? They’re out in the cold and heat?? And you’re stressing because you can’t feed and water…. I can’t. This is too much… you should be ,..,, I read your profile. They are live beings!! At least feed and water them!
I know work has been stressful, so i totally get that, but i think everything else has been pretty normal for the most part. I will totally accept her not being into me i just wish i knew so i could move on
Ask stupid questions, get stupid answers, I'm pretty sure you knew the answer already.
Now let me ask you something and I would like your answer to be as honest as your girlfriends, would you have preferred it if she lied to you?
Any other guys are free to comment their answer to this question too, im genuinely curious.
I'm moreso asking if her telling things like this is normal
Honestly this sounds like some kind of complete mental breakdown…is he normally impulsive ? And emotions all over the place? This sounds kind of manic
Yes he's a cheater, you knew he was a cheater, you married a cheater intentionally. What do you want from us? Validation so you can show your cheating husband, and say see told ya so? Go away.
You have totally incompatible expectations from this relationship, and it's causing you both to treat each other with resentment, because neither of you are the partner the other wants. That's not fair on either of you.
She wants to be taken care of, you want an equal contributor, or at least someone who is reasonable about their expectations relative to their contribution. Either way, you want incompatible things from this relationship, and would both be happier going your separate ways and seeing people you're each compatible with.
*whose
Stingy is a very judgmental label to put on someone . instead try thinking of him as frugal and having this one area where he goes overboard. don't fight with him about it just do what you want to do . he can boil the kettle if he wants to when he's in charge of taking on these tasks and getting a point of service heater could be a great solution
My god. I hate how people just slap on the whole “get therapy, marriage counseling” shit like it’s a fix all or even an option.
Counseling only works if the party or both parties are willing to see it through for the better or reach an understanding or both want to have the same outcome of the relationship.
It sounds to me like you don’t?? and that is totally understandable. You do not have to do counseling or even be with this person who accused you of incest and made you and your brother feel bad. Some emotional bridges just get burned and you shouldn’t have to rebuild them if you don’t want to. This was something that was unforgivable and your intuition is telling you that. You don’t even want to be around him. And I do not blame you.
I support leaving him if you can. You cannot make someone get therapy. And even if he got individual therapy, how would he paint up his story? Would he even be honest?? Idk. I don’t know him.
But all I’m saying is that I support you. And you’re not selfish at all. Don’t be so hard on yourself.
Here's what you do: Dump Him.
You made the not-easy decision of staying with him, and in exchange, you got 2 difficult years. Do you think it's worth it?
Stop waiting to see if the decision is right. What are you waiting for? All you're going to get is years and years of fearing if he will cheat, or him cheating again one day and wasting all your time.
How do I get rid of her? I thought we were just friends then one day she leaned into a kiss. It was awkward but we kissed?