Fundamentally, this sounds like a lack of communication. Can you ask him to let you know when he's gonna be offline for awhile? Like he can just shoot you a text saying running late babe, or I'm super tired today so I'm going to bed early? Please keep in mind that even couples that live together never know 100% of where or what they're partner is doing all the time. I think you're possibly developing separation anxiety and should probably talk to someone if the texting doesn't work.
If she’s standing in the shower with her crotch in her child’s face which is what he would be doing since he said shower not bath, then she IS being inappropriate. Children being made to shower with their parents for too many years has made a lot of kids need therapy.
The fact that she is so fixated on wanting him to shower with the child is also extremely off putting.
My fiancé is in PA school. You wife is 100% right to be concerned. If you are living pay check to pay check with both of you working, you will not be able to afford to keep your family afloat and go to school. Sorry to say this but it’s true. Unless and until one of you is able to support your entire family and their living expenses and childcare, what you are asking for is unreasonable. If she decided to divorce you, you won’t be able to afford the child support you would need to pay while attending school so…. Time to pivot. Maybe go to nursing school part time and work towards becoming a nurse practitioner as your child gets older and needs less care.
Your gf is obviously battling some deep seated self imagery problems if she's going to complain about how you're commenting on a friend especially if there isn't anything there other then friendship.
She has to respect your boundaries as much as you have to respect hers if you two are to keep going as a relationship. However she also needs to respect you as a person and the things you used to do. Although to outright comment about another woman can be considered a faux paus to some and can get certain people upset.
Sit her down, explain to her that if it's part of who you are, then explain that, explain that there's nothing there romantically nor would there be.
Age doesn't have squat to do with it other then your GF showing her immaturity. My wife and girlfriend (I'm poly) both are okay with me giving women compliments, I mean it's not like I'm having sex with them for crissakes lmao.
If she refuses to listen, then find a woman who will be okay with who you are. Don't ever settle for anyone that doesn't love all of you and who you are as a person. That includes the jealousy part because some of it probably has something to do with some deep seated jealousy that she fights with.
Something is off here, your guys communication is bad! I think she doesnt feel for you nearly what you feel for her! Move on man, she’s attracted to and mating with another guy, and hardly talks to you but fleeting passes at the store? She does t like you bro!
Jesus Christ, that’s even more disturbing. Sorry OP, let me correct myself – stop being jealous because your clit is like a shriveled raisin and you’re a nosey prude.
Okay, but did you tell her this was a “line that you won’t let be crossed” before she crossed it? Every new couple needs to sit down and discuss boundaries in the beginning of a relationship. You can’t be mad at people for crossing boundaries that they didn’t know existed for you, but you are allowed to feel hurt that it happened.
It’s amazing the number of people who will be confronted with how their behavior would upset them if reversed, then they just sputter a “it’s not the same” and run away in shame.
A few questions : Have you met her parents and do you get along well? What will they do in the UK for 6 months? Does your partner have a job? If she does, what will they do from 9 to 5, 5 days a week? If she does not, why can't she go visit them instead? You are living in a small apartment, so I presume that means no sex for 6 months, are you okay with this? Is it possible for them to rent a small flat for the duration of their stay instead of staying with you?
She says she's planning to donate them and have it filmed. She's even talk about hosting game shows to bring the poor people as contestants where winners win more of the prize pool.
It might help to know I used to work as an ambulance medic so I know how to manage emergency symptoms and most emergency medicine is based around stabilising a person not longterm solutions. The antidote for syncope is rest and if you read I did speak to a nurse a few days later to discover the cause. So I did seek medical care. If I did faint, he would have hopefully called the ambulance though who would just give me rest and fluids (which I gave myself at the pub). I think the point is even he knew he was an a-hole when we talked about it later.
Initially he said he thought it was because he was in a manipulative, unsafe relationship in his teens and he was reacting from trauma. But he said its not the case because he considered me a safe person. He never discovered it.
i have absolutely no idea. there has be an ulterior motive. if it’s not an ulterior motive, then there’s definitely an attachment-style where jealousy is the primary mode of response.
Are you a stripper too? Sorry had to ask. Your husband seems to like his strippers ALOT. Are you gonna wait another couple of years and find out he's a daddy to several kids. Make plans for your exit
“Hey OP friend gf, If I was comfortable with you knowing my identity, I wouldn't have gone to the lengths to make an anonymous account. You can do with this information as you please, just understand I am friends with OP Friend and am aware of more than 1 occasion where he has been unfaithful to you. I reach out, only so you can be informed and make an informed decision as to whether you stay in the relationship or not.”
If you really are going to try this messy relationship.
Don't be an authority to them, at all, and don't try to be their friend or win their approval either.
Just kinda act like they're not there and only engage them when necessary. Your BF is a crazy person for having you meet them 2 months in and the whole thing is going to implode at some point in the next year or two anyway.
I took that to mean OP thought they hated each other, not that they were in love. ??♀️ I can see how she'd feel blindsided if she thought the opposite of what was going on.
I’ve got her number and shit, my sister and I are very close she knows I like her and find her maté attractive she is always saying no and stuff, I just don’t know what to do, how would you go about asking someone out (I just got out of a 2 year relationship) I’m very rusty I think I lost my rizz
In general, getting sex is way harder for men than women, and some men wear it around their neck like a trophy. I hope some day they find out that that is not what defines them as a person. There is much more to being a man than just that.
You show him posts from reddit of all of the messed up parent/ child relationships with an emphasis on reading the comments.
Then tell him this the path yall are headed down if he continues to allow his girlfriend to treat you horribly and doesnt maintain an actual relationship with you.
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles use the following formatting:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two. Here is an example:
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles use the following formatting:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two. Here is an example:
kinda sounds like your boyfriend bullied the trans kid!
though i am extremely curious: what do you mean asked for advice? how did those conversations go? i played a high school sport on a team that won the state championship in 2005, and this never happened
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles use the following formatting:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two. Here is an example:
You're not irrational and you should let him know that it bothered you. Ask him why he didn't get you anything.
Side note, five years is a long time to be dating. Is the relationship not progressing? Maybe you're both not getting what you want out of this arrangement.
Why the fuck would you not leave the moment you can? Just pack your bags and leave the next time he isn’t home. Go to a friend. To your family. To a shelter. I don’t care just leave
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
So it depends on how much she makes. So like my EX made about 20% of my income so she paid 20% of the bills. That's how we worked it out. Every couple is different. MAybe you pay the mortgage and she pays utilities. Just need to sit down and have a talk about it. That's a big part of moving in together ios how to split costs.
He says more time to keep you hooked on the idea that maybe, down the road, there’s a sliver of chance that he’ll be emotionally available, no guarantee though. Do you really want to sit around for a maybe?
I bet your friend asked you if she could sleep on the sofa because he has done this to her as well in the past.
He’s a predator and sexually assaulted you.
If you want to stay friends with him because of all the history, you need to be very direct with him and tell him exactly what you feel and give him an absolute ultimatum that if he comes anywhere near you in the future the friendship is over.
Also, don’t put yourself in this position again now you know what a nasty little creep he is. Make sure he stays somewhere else if you are all meeting up.
IMO; establishing what you're looking for in a relationship is healthy communication. Neither of you wastes your time. Surgery-wise, it's not like you're stressing him. He may feel frustrated or pent-up, but nothing serious or long-term.
Well how is supposed to know how if no one taught him? If only most people in the world had a little computer that was easily accessible and had info and demos available at the click of a button…
Given that your dude is a “scientist”, I would say that your guys inability to make mashed potatoes was a pronounced display of weaponized incompetence.
I'm at a very emotional stage in my life right now, just lost my dad to a sudden heartattack, just quit smoking weed, quit taking my ADHD medicine and just found out I'm pregnant, so everything is just extremely overwhelming.
I think you should tell him that you were together, but also with the understanding that he may not feel that way about you anymore/right now due to what happened. Finding out he lost his memory is something very valid to be upset about, but I don't think hiding that from him is going to end well and is probably going to be more harmful in the long run.
Trying so hard to not be the bad guy and make up a fake story about contacting someone on the dark web (who wants a finger as a payment? What nonsense) and finding her phone was cloned, yet the only thing that was done was her photos was sent to him.
And a hacker on the dark web is just going to reveal things to a stranger?
And he shaved off his beard. Is that because he doesn’t want to be recognised? Honestly I would be checking his laptop to make sure he doesn’t have illegal photos on there.
The only thing that might turn this around is if it turned out he had brain cancer that caused him to act like crazy person and sexual predator (has unfortunately happened but rarely). But I would want to be at that appointment with the doctor and see the X-rays, and not take his word for it. And even then, with a child and him being a sexual predator, I would not be comfortable with him being home.
But more than likely, he’s just showing his true colours and got tired or pretending.
Several times throughout planning the wedding, they promised us financial contributions (which we didn't particularly need or ask for, but was an appreciated gesture) only to revoke the money
“Fool me once…”
You've known who they are since the beginning. I'm not sure why you continued to believe a word that came out of their mouths.
The manipulation didn't start after you cancelled, the manipulation was to get you to cancel. They lied.
They didn't really cheat you out of anything (except having decent parents/inlaws). They're liars.
Just be in your husband's corner. He might benefit from talking to a therapist.
There’s two things here, and while the second is general advice, it ties into the first.
So first, we have to point out the age gap here. I get it; you’re consenting adults. But age gaps like this become a problem when the two parties are likely to be in different life stages. Like anything else, context is everything so certainly correct me if I’m wrong, but generally speaking a 26 year old and a 20 year old aren’t in the same life stage. A 20 year old will usually be in college and a year or two from graduating. A 26 year old will usually be a few years into a career. Those just don’t often align.
It’s especially important here because what you keep calling “overthinking” is insecurities. No one’s going to be surprised that a 20 year old as immature and insecure. That brings me to the second point.
Insecurity is a relationship killer. In saying that, no amount of reassurance will ever be enough. You’ve learned that. So that’s the real advice here. As you get to know people, if you learn they’re insecure and need constant reassurance while also refusing to acknowledge that only they can address their insecurities, you walk away and don’t fight it. Don’t settle for someone who isn’t secure in themselves. Good luck.
I made plans just last week with my parents to come visit, I didn’t ask my partner first. It’s my home, I can have anyone I want over, as can she. We have talked about them visiting in general, it would be different if she had a problem with having them stay with us, but the concept of asking her permission about specific dates doesn’t make sense to me.
Realistically, the only type of plans she or I would have that would interfere with dates months in the future we would have together (like vacations), so I don’t see how any one week would be better than another.
It’s also reciprocal, her sister stayed with us multiple times, we coordinated then for other reasons, but at no point would she need to ask my permission.
I grew up about 1k miles from any extended family so my folks had to hire a sitter—family wasn’t an option. I have so many fond memories of some of the babysitters we had.
If you go on care dot com you can find sitters who are credentialed by Red Cross in infant/child first aid and CPR, get references, etc and interview people.
That’s how my stepdaughters got into babysitting. I sent them for the RC certification and then they advertised a bit. And I was always close by for backup.
I dunno. I think you two need to make alone time a priority before you become just roommates who coparent and build resentment.
Anyway, I’m not sure why your husband blew up about it. But if you haven’t told him that you want to use the babysitting offer for just the two of you vs a family event, make sure you do.
You're already 5 years ahead of her in life…is it so crazy to think that she got with an older man thinking your values and desires would match. I could see if you were both 25 and she's trying to plan out the next 25 years of your life but ultimately I'm sure she wanted an older guy who was ready to settle down. There is nothing wrong with you not being that guy but don't try to make it seem like she's crazy for wanting those things. This has nothing to do with a spark…you were just enjoying a casual thing and she wants more than that…maybe not immediately but sooner than you're interested. If there was a spark, then the prospect of a future with her wouldn't scare you.
So, to reiterate, it's okay that you don't want what she wants but she didn't ruin anything except your fantasy by giving you this timeline. And if you're not interested in meeting her milestones, then you need to end this relationship because you both deserve to find people on your same wavelength.
Just be polite and civil when you have to see her and don't talk to her otherwise. Other that that, just follow your husbands lead when it comes to her.
You have a therapist, let that therapist guide you in that decision. If he thinks less of you because of something completely out of your control, then he's probably not someone you are ever going to feel safe with.
You are right, I do put too much value and importance of his opinion of me. It's partially because I met him during a time where my opinion of myself was anything but good.
I don't want to let him go, because otherwise our relationship is quite nice and spending time with him is never painful.
I do need to focus more on my real-life endeavors, you are right about that. I am a student before all of this anyways.
Thank you again for reminding me that this is also a part of my disordered habits.
Sweetheart, his mask hasn't slipped…it's come ALL THE WAY OFF.
This IS who he is. Controlling, financially abusive, and, frankly, an asshole.
This is who you've tied yourself to. Leaving HAS TO be an option, because you WILL go through the rest of your life like this. At some point, he'll become physically abusive, in which case your life expectancy will be dramatically shortened if you DO NOT GET OUT. It's also likely that he'll abuse your child. I don't believe that this is what you want your life to be.
Contact a DV organization, make a plan, and GET OUT.
People change their minds about all kinds of random shit. Is it also horrible to not disclose you had surgery to fix a broken leg or that you don’t like your dad??
You get to disclose your private information when you feel comfortable
Well, you're pretty young, so I get your confusion. You need to dig down into yourself and ask if this matters at all to you. She's a woman and that's it. If anything about that fact doesn't sit right with you, you probably need time to yourself to figure yourself out better. Think about what the future with and without her would mean for you. Think about how you really feel. This could take time. Communicate with her so she doesn't get worried and can know where you two are. Good luck, and be gentle if you can't handle your own insecurities and need to break it off. Remember in this case if you need to break it off it's entirely on you and your feelings, not her.
1.) For women to be cheated on by their husbands during pregnancy. It's one of the reasons many countries integrate STI/STDs tests into other pregnancy tests as undetected STI/STD can harm or even kill mother & baby.
2.) For men to leave their wives/long term partners if they are given a serious health diagnosis.
You're aware your husband is cheating on you. Why else does he leave his phone at the hotel room? Why else is he sending dick pics to women, including your younger sister? Come on now, you know what's going on. It's just up to you what you're going to do about it.
But why say it at all? You set the wrong president and then the bf might just ignore any valid criticism of his sister by saying “they just aren't compatible” and not address his behaviour in enabling her.
If you ordered a chicken sandwich at a restaurant and the chicken was uncooked and dangerous, you wouldn't start by saying to the waiter “oh it's just not for me, I guess I don't particularly like this sandwich” would you?
You’re overthinking this. You don’t know what’s happened to him in the past year. His weight gain might not have anything to do with you. Just move on.
Let's get a few things straight. Your friend is a complete and utter idiot. She should have dumped the cheating husband as per the original plan. What she is doing now is mot who she is. She has compromised her ideals for a cheating husband. So she is now enabling it.
You are her friend and will be influenced by the changes. She is going to tell about her dates and the experiences she is going to have. Your husband is scared. He's cared that you will now ask for an open relationship. He's scared that when you see your friend having “fun” with other guys, you will cheat.
It's often how it goes in these situations. So he's scared. And I get get thinking and reasoning. I was in a similar situation. At the point where I was a bout to ask my wife to cut off her friend, she did it herself. So I can see his point of view.
I guess the decision is yours to make. I'd have long hard talks with him. But i can't see you changing his mind any time soon.
Coming from experience this method worked for me and I was the wife in this situation. sandwiching it in a compliment helped to soften the blow. Now I shower almost everyday! I read dry skin in another comment, cold water rinse at the end helps with that.
(if it matters she does lead guys on and Wayne is somewhat aware. That’s not the point but I guess you could say this comment isn’t coming out of left field).
Why are you still with him if he's just a pretty face? lulz
Be done with the dude you don't like or keep hanging on doing whatever it is that you think will get him to move you in and pay for everything. Good golly. You supposedly can't even make up your own mind because the dude could spoil you, but you're not worth spoiling to him.
Hold up. Almost a year and you didn’t know he had bad allergies? he may have allergies but not bad ones if you’ve been together that long you would know already. He is making an excuse and using allergies as the excuse. But regardless his behavior towards you either way, drinking or not is not okay. For him to immediately get that defensive and tell everyone isn’t a good sign regardless of reason. I think it would help you to start reading up on drug use and addiction. Not saying he is an addict. But his actions and reaction to you is exactly what people doing drugs do.
Youre 22. You have your whole life ahead of you to settle for someone mediocre. Dump him and go have fun. Enjoy your early 20's. I wasted 10 years of my life (ages 23 to 33) with someone and totally regret it.
Yeah, go to a therapist and get support for your insecurities. You’re immediately labeling yourself as being a victim. I was bullied a lot too…the thing that I understand and something you need to learn for yourself is that nonsense is on them. They bullied you because it made them feel better. That’s sad behavior on their end. It troubles you not because of anything she did but because you don’t know how to keep your own anxiety in check. You’re seriously considering ghosting someone who DOESN’T deserve it because you don’t feel like you can measure up to those guys? Well yeah, if you do the toxic thing of leaving her on read and basically going NC.
If you don’t want to be with her then break up with her. Show her the respect of finding out from you that things are done. You were bullied so now you’re going to self sabotage and then maybe possibly cause her to feel insecure with herself? How do you think she’s going to feel if the people she’s been dating for five months stops speaking to her? Have you thought about her perspective and how that may hurt her? Or you focused on how much her body count makes you feel emasculated?
Thanks! We’re actually pretty successful and have been with many women together! And it’s definitely not every time, just something we both enjoy! I really appreciate the support!
You can actually kill two birds with one stone here.
Have your boyfriend file a formal complaint to the restaurant management. He can pose as a customer who “witnessed” the harassment. Heck he can go full Karen and complain about it ruined dinner, etc. Management should freak out and do whatever to make this “customer” happy.
emotional. I tried twice, but each time he asks for forgiveness and promises that everything will be different. Deep inside I know it’s not true. but i can’t resist it. I’m sick of myself to be honest, I’ve never been that trapped in relationship before( sorry for my English by the way, it’s not my first language)
I mean you're lying to them and they know you are so I really don't see how you expect to earn their trust by continuing your lies. Not a good look and kids absolutely know when you're full of shit.
So you drank, used drugs and hooked up regularly for four years…and now you are asking if you should lie about your past to your boyfriend and manipulate him?
You should think long and hard about the type of person you want to be
Speaking from personal experience, I had an ex that was also obsessed with the idea of taking my virginity (even though I wasn't one and he knew that). He was so delusional and obsessed by the fantasy that he didn't want me to talk about previous partners or sexual experiences because it would ruin the fantasy.
Men with fantasies like this are walking red flags. Especially if they're obsessed with it and can't stop talking about it. The fact that you're afraid to tell him your past is a red flag as well.
Dating is supposed to be a trial period where you decide if another person is the right fit for you; I think maybe he's failed his trial period if you're feeling hesitant to be honest with him about your sexual history.
I think I definitely need to have a serious chat with him about it. I really cannot suppress the feelings any longer. What’s worse is that he makes me feel really bad for asking to get pleasured.
If you don't want to live by their rules then you can choose not to live with them.
If you want to compromise or negotiate things, do you think it would be worth working with a mediator (with a history of working with people with addictions and their families) to do that? (e.g. do they understand THC and how long it will be in your system, that you testing positive doesn't mean you have lapsed again?)
You know what you have to do, my friend. Your girlfriend is trying to cut you off from friends and is testing you because she thinks it's “necessary” (it is not).
It will not stop at this friend of yours. It will only get worse if you agree to cutting people out of your life for her based on absolutely nothing but her insecurities. Please don't waste any more time on this relationship, I promise you you will regret it if you try to stay with her and cut out friends for her.
He thinks that even though you pay for some of his shit and he's the one with debt?
Girl don't be afraid if a fight. Put your foot down. It seems to me like he sees you as his cash cow and is trying to wheedle you into paying for him even more.
Stand your ground, you don't want a man like this in your life
Thank you very much for taking time to point out things that I need too understand and move on. I really need this. I appreciate you ?? I know that I want to leave him but a part of me still love him and I’m too weak. That’s why I need your help to get over it 🙁 I wish i had never met him once in my life. It hurts me a lot and he acted like nothing happened.
My girlfriend at some point also did this ultimatum, open relationship or break up. She claimed she didn't want to “regret” not living her early-mid 20's to the fullest.
100% exactly like you said; I only agreed to it out of fear of separation, like you said I did feel pinned down to a corner, when your options are the end of a relationship you're attached to or give your partner consent to “cheat” you're really on a lose-lose situation.
She had things with other men twice, both times it completely destroyed me, tortured me, but I did my best to keep it strong while staying monogamous myself…
Thankfully afterwards she came to me and said she feels satisfied with it, that the experience end up not being all that great as she expected and that she has grown so attached to our relationship (we live together) that she wants to return to monogamy as she doesn't want to hurt me further as she's very pleased with what we have…
We're going strong now but it was all in all an awful experience and I know nowadays if she didn't have this change of heart I would have broken up eventually.
Sounds like a guilt trip so eventually you can be cool w it and continue it on the side.
I have told him all about this! I even gave him a full history lesson and he said that was messed up and awful, etc… but he won’t stop doing it!
Fundamentally, this sounds like a lack of communication. Can you ask him to let you know when he's gonna be offline for awhile? Like he can just shoot you a text saying running late babe, or I'm super tired today so I'm going to bed early? Please keep in mind that even couples that live together never know 100% of where or what they're partner is doing all the time. I think you're possibly developing separation anxiety and should probably talk to someone if the texting doesn't work.
If she’s standing in the shower with her crotch in her child’s face which is what he would be doing since he said shower not bath, then she IS being inappropriate. Children being made to shower with their parents for too many years has made a lot of kids need therapy.
The fact that she is so fixated on wanting him to shower with the child is also extremely off putting.
My fiancé is in PA school. You wife is 100% right to be concerned. If you are living pay check to pay check with both of you working, you will not be able to afford to keep your family afloat and go to school. Sorry to say this but it’s true. Unless and until one of you is able to support your entire family and their living expenses and childcare, what you are asking for is unreasonable. If she decided to divorce you, you won’t be able to afford the child support you would need to pay while attending school so…. Time to pivot. Maybe go to nursing school part time and work towards becoming a nurse practitioner as your child gets older and needs less care.
Your gf is obviously battling some deep seated self imagery problems if she's going to complain about how you're commenting on a friend especially if there isn't anything there other then friendship.
She has to respect your boundaries as much as you have to respect hers if you two are to keep going as a relationship. However she also needs to respect you as a person and the things you used to do. Although to outright comment about another woman can be considered a faux paus to some and can get certain people upset.
Sit her down, explain to her that if it's part of who you are, then explain that, explain that there's nothing there romantically nor would there be.
Age doesn't have squat to do with it other then your GF showing her immaturity. My wife and girlfriend (I'm poly) both are okay with me giving women compliments, I mean it's not like I'm having sex with them for crissakes lmao.
If she refuses to listen, then find a woman who will be okay with who you are. Don't ever settle for anyone that doesn't love all of you and who you are as a person. That includes the jealousy part because some of it probably has something to do with some deep seated jealousy that she fights with.
Something is off here, your guys communication is bad! I think she doesnt feel for you nearly what you feel for her! Move on man, she’s attracted to and mating with another guy, and hardly talks to you but fleeting passes at the store? She does t like you bro!
Jesus Christ, that’s even more disturbing. Sorry OP, let me correct myself – stop being jealous because your clit is like a shriveled raisin and you’re a nosey prude.
That’s such a turn off. I can’t imagine the LACK of sex there must be. ?
Okay, but did you tell her this was a “line that you won’t let be crossed” before she crossed it? Every new couple needs to sit down and discuss boundaries in the beginning of a relationship. You can’t be mad at people for crossing boundaries that they didn’t know existed for you, but you are allowed to feel hurt that it happened.
It’s amazing the number of people who will be confronted with how their behavior would upset them if reversed, then they just sputter a “it’s not the same” and run away in shame.
A few questions : Have you met her parents and do you get along well? What will they do in the UK for 6 months? Does your partner have a job? If she does, what will they do from 9 to 5, 5 days a week? If she does not, why can't she go visit them instead? You are living in a small apartment, so I presume that means no sex for 6 months, are you okay with this? Is it possible for them to rent a small flat for the duration of their stay instead of staying with you?
She says she's planning to donate them and have it filmed. She's even talk about hosting game shows to bring the poor people as contestants where winners win more of the prize pool.
good point, i will maybe update in a few days if everything goes right (or wrong) if i gain the courage to do all of this, it might take some time tho
Me too
It might help to know I used to work as an ambulance medic so I know how to manage emergency symptoms and most emergency medicine is based around stabilising a person not longterm solutions. The antidote for syncope is rest and if you read I did speak to a nurse a few days later to discover the cause. So I did seek medical care. If I did faint, he would have hopefully called the ambulance though who would just give me rest and fluids (which I gave myself at the pub). I think the point is even he knew he was an a-hole when we talked about it later.
Initially he said he thought it was because he was in a manipulative, unsafe relationship in his teens and he was reacting from trauma. But he said its not the case because he considered me a safe person. He never discovered it.
i have absolutely no idea. there has be an ulterior motive. if it’s not an ulterior motive, then there’s definitely an attachment-style where jealousy is the primary mode of response.
This has to be a troll, someone asks this stupid ass question every week.
Are you a stripper too? Sorry had to ask. Your husband seems to like his strippers ALOT. Are you gonna wait another couple of years and find out he's a daddy to several kids. Make plans for your exit
“Hey OP friend gf, If I was comfortable with you knowing my identity, I wouldn't have gone to the lengths to make an anonymous account. You can do with this information as you please, just understand I am friends with OP Friend and am aware of more than 1 occasion where he has been unfaithful to you. I reach out, only so you can be informed and make an informed decision as to whether you stay in the relationship or not.”
If you really are going to try this messy relationship.
Don't be an authority to them, at all, and don't try to be their friend or win their approval either.
Just kinda act like they're not there and only engage them when necessary. Your BF is a crazy person for having you meet them 2 months in and the whole thing is going to implode at some point in the next year or two anyway.
I took that to mean OP thought they hated each other, not that they were in love. ??♀️ I can see how she'd feel blindsided if she thought the opposite of what was going on.
Is his name Sc**t?? Wait there is more Damn.
Be a man and tell them the truth, why is this so hard? Make your own decisions and work for what you want, family will always be there afterwards.
I’ve got her number and shit, my sister and I are very close she knows I like her and find her maté attractive she is always saying no and stuff, I just don’t know what to do, how would you go about asking someone out (I just got out of a 2 year relationship) I’m very rusty I think I lost my rizz
Oh and I forgot to add.
If she says no to a second date. That’s it. Your done. Stop and leave her alone.
Honestly seek therapy Also id file for divorce and try and get away from her
In general, getting sex is way harder for men than women, and some men wear it around their neck like a trophy. I hope some day they find out that that is not what defines them as a person. There is much more to being a man than just that.
Yeah, you destroyed the relationship, theres little chance of walking back from this. Also you need real therapy, stat.
Clearly it is.
You show him posts from reddit of all of the messed up parent/ child relationships with an emphasis on reading the comments.
Then tell him this the path yall are headed down if he continues to allow his girlfriend to treat you horribly and doesnt maintain an actual relationship with you.
Hello /u/StoryPsychological90,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles use the following formatting:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
She was planning on hurting herself, possibly worse. How is it abuse if he was stopping that?
Hello /u/italiancrazygirl,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles use the following formatting:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
kinda sounds like your boyfriend bullied the trans kid!
though i am extremely curious: what do you mean asked for advice? how did those conversations go? i played a high school sport on a team that won the state championship in 2005, and this never happened
Hello /u/South_Improvement274,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles use the following formatting:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
You're not irrational and you should let him know that it bothered you. Ask him why he didn't get you anything.
Side note, five years is a long time to be dating. Is the relationship not progressing? Maybe you're both not getting what you want out of this arrangement.
Why the fuck would you not leave the moment you can? Just pack your bags and leave the next time he isn’t home. Go to a friend. To your family. To a shelter. I don’t care just leave
Okay. So what are you doing to protect yourself from this situation in the future?
You need to let her be. Work on yourself. Get yourself into the best place possible.
The external desire for “wanting her back” is still a form of avoidance.
Work on your stuff, be the best you can be, and if the timing is right, great. You may have messed this up and if so, it’s a valuable lesson.
Hello /u/Mono__games,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
This is literally what voicemail is for.
So it depends on how much she makes. So like my EX made about 20% of my income so she paid 20% of the bills. That's how we worked it out. Every couple is different. MAybe you pay the mortgage and she pays utilities. Just need to sit down and have a talk about it. That's a big part of moving in together ios how to split costs.
Don’t trust her to be cool about it, many women on here think jerking off is a prisonable offence
bail girl
He says more time to keep you hooked on the idea that maybe, down the road, there’s a sliver of chance that he’ll be emotionally available, no guarantee though. Do you really want to sit around for a maybe?
You my friend, are a piece of shit. And I don’t care if this subreddit bans me for calling someone such as yourself a piece of shit?♀️
I bet your friend asked you if she could sleep on the sofa because he has done this to her as well in the past.
He’s a predator and sexually assaulted you.
If you want to stay friends with him because of all the history, you need to be very direct with him and tell him exactly what you feel and give him an absolute ultimatum that if he comes anywhere near you in the future the friendship is over.
Also, don’t put yourself in this position again now you know what a nasty little creep he is. Make sure he stays somewhere else if you are all meeting up.
Do this tomorrow morning.
Sounds to me like the biggest reason you aren’t leaving is because it’ll ruin your mojo for school rn. IMHO that really isn’t a good reason to stay.
I think we all know if you do love and respect her- you’ll stop pretending the relationship is going somewhere to humor her.
I’m sorry- you sounded hopefully for better answers.
Sounds like sex really matters to him.
IMO; establishing what you're looking for in a relationship is healthy communication. Neither of you wastes your time. Surgery-wise, it's not like you're stressing him. He may feel frustrated or pent-up, but nothing serious or long-term.
Well how is supposed to know how if no one taught him? If only most people in the world had a little computer that was easily accessible and had info and demos available at the click of a button…
Given that your dude is a “scientist”, I would say that your guys inability to make mashed potatoes was a pronounced display of weaponized incompetence.
You should be extremely afraid. That's not how a respectful or loving partner behaves
No, honey. It seems unlikely a 24 year old can’t manage her life any better than that.
I'm at a very emotional stage in my life right now, just lost my dad to a sudden heartattack, just quit smoking weed, quit taking my ADHD medicine and just found out I'm pregnant, so everything is just extremely overwhelming.
That's probably more the issue than pork
For every post like this, there are 125 other dudes who would shriek that she’s cheating on you by NOT telling you what she’s hit on.
Talk to her. Ask her why. And explain if you don’t want to hear about it.
I think you should tell him that you were together, but also with the understanding that he may not feel that way about you anymore/right now due to what happened. Finding out he lost his memory is something very valid to be upset about, but I don't think hiding that from him is going to end well and is probably going to be more harmful in the long run.
Trying so hard to not be the bad guy and make up a fake story about contacting someone on the dark web (who wants a finger as a payment? What nonsense) and finding her phone was cloned, yet the only thing that was done was her photos was sent to him.
And a hacker on the dark web is just going to reveal things to a stranger?
And he shaved off his beard. Is that because he doesn’t want to be recognised? Honestly I would be checking his laptop to make sure he doesn’t have illegal photos on there.
The only thing that might turn this around is if it turned out he had brain cancer that caused him to act like crazy person and sexual predator (has unfortunately happened but rarely). But I would want to be at that appointment with the doctor and see the X-rays, and not take his word for it. And even then, with a child and him being a sexual predator, I would not be comfortable with him being home.
But more than likely, he’s just showing his true colours and got tired or pretending.
Several times throughout planning the wedding, they promised us financial contributions (which we didn't particularly need or ask for, but was an appreciated gesture) only to revoke the money
“Fool me once…”
You've known who they are since the beginning. I'm not sure why you continued to believe a word that came out of their mouths.
The manipulation didn't start after you cancelled, the manipulation was to get you to cancel. They lied.
They didn't really cheat you out of anything (except having decent parents/inlaws). They're liars.
Just be in your husband's corner. He might benefit from talking to a therapist.
Your BF's behavior is suspicious. He may have wanted to be away from you that weekend so he could meet other girls.
Your relationship is already over.
He is not allowing you to follow him because there are other girls who he think of as his “main girl”.
He probably told them he is alone so he “hides” you to keep up the facade.
Even if you try to stay together and destroy your pride, he will simply leave home to live with those girls one day.
So what will you choose? Stay and wait to be thrown away or leave & keep your pride?
again, a lot of assuming. possible he has his passport and a backpack
Tough one. Flip a coin. Heads……nah just stay together unless there are other “events”.
No one is saying it would be her fault. WTF is wrong with you?
He will never change.
That's why i'm so happy i don't share friends with my girlfriend yikes
There’s two things here, and while the second is general advice, it ties into the first.
So first, we have to point out the age gap here. I get it; you’re consenting adults. But age gaps like this become a problem when the two parties are likely to be in different life stages. Like anything else, context is everything so certainly correct me if I’m wrong, but generally speaking a 26 year old and a 20 year old aren’t in the same life stage. A 20 year old will usually be in college and a year or two from graduating. A 26 year old will usually be a few years into a career. Those just don’t often align.
It’s especially important here because what you keep calling “overthinking” is insecurities. No one’s going to be surprised that a 20 year old as immature and insecure. That brings me to the second point.
Insecurity is a relationship killer. In saying that, no amount of reassurance will ever be enough. You’ve learned that. So that’s the real advice here. As you get to know people, if you learn they’re insecure and need constant reassurance while also refusing to acknowledge that only they can address their insecurities, you walk away and don’t fight it. Don’t settle for someone who isn’t secure in themselves. Good luck.
I made plans just last week with my parents to come visit, I didn’t ask my partner first. It’s my home, I can have anyone I want over, as can she. We have talked about them visiting in general, it would be different if she had a problem with having them stay with us, but the concept of asking her permission about specific dates doesn’t make sense to me.
Realistically, the only type of plans she or I would have that would interfere with dates months in the future we would have together (like vacations), so I don’t see how any one week would be better than another.
It’s also reciprocal, her sister stayed with us multiple times, we coordinated then for other reasons, but at no point would she need to ask my permission.
I don’t see the issue.
I grew up about 1k miles from any extended family so my folks had to hire a sitter—family wasn’t an option. I have so many fond memories of some of the babysitters we had.
If you go on care dot com you can find sitters who are credentialed by Red Cross in infant/child first aid and CPR, get references, etc and interview people.
That’s how my stepdaughters got into babysitting. I sent them for the RC certification and then they advertised a bit. And I was always close by for backup.
I dunno. I think you two need to make alone time a priority before you become just roommates who coparent and build resentment.
Anyway, I’m not sure why your husband blew up about it. But if you haven’t told him that you want to use the babysitting offer for just the two of you vs a family event, make sure you do.
You have a 2 year old daughter and both work 50+ hours? Putting aside the issues, what time do you both think you have?
Her running away to another guys place with your child do doesn’t help. It gives her temporary variety and a false sense of change.
She’s just trying you find attention anywhere but terrible short term solutions won’t help her.
You both need to break down the issues and see if you can fix them? Are there better trade offs you can both make for a better quality of life?
You're already 5 years ahead of her in life…is it so crazy to think that she got with an older man thinking your values and desires would match. I could see if you were both 25 and she's trying to plan out the next 25 years of your life but ultimately I'm sure she wanted an older guy who was ready to settle down. There is nothing wrong with you not being that guy but don't try to make it seem like she's crazy for wanting those things. This has nothing to do with a spark…you were just enjoying a casual thing and she wants more than that…maybe not immediately but sooner than you're interested. If there was a spark, then the prospect of a future with her wouldn't scare you.
So, to reiterate, it's okay that you don't want what she wants but she didn't ruin anything except your fantasy by giving you this timeline. And if you're not interested in meeting her milestones, then you need to end this relationship because you both deserve to find people on your same wavelength.
Good luck to both of you.
Just be polite and civil when you have to see her and don't talk to her otherwise. Other that that, just follow your husbands lead when it comes to her.
You have a therapist, let that therapist guide you in that decision. If he thinks less of you because of something completely out of your control, then he's probably not someone you are ever going to feel safe with.
Thank you for your input, I appreciate it a lot.
You are right, I do put too much value and importance of his opinion of me. It's partially because I met him during a time where my opinion of myself was anything but good.
I don't want to let him go, because otherwise our relationship is quite nice and spending time with him is never painful.
I do need to focus more on my real-life endeavors, you are right about that. I am a student before all of this anyways.
Thank you again for reminding me that this is also a part of my disordered habits.
What did she say when you asked her a few moments later?
Sweetheart, his mask hasn't slipped…it's come ALL THE WAY OFF.
This IS who he is. Controlling, financially abusive, and, frankly, an asshole.
This is who you've tied yourself to. Leaving HAS TO be an option, because you WILL go through the rest of your life like this. At some point, he'll become physically abusive, in which case your life expectancy will be dramatically shortened if you DO NOT GET OUT. It's also likely that he'll abuse your child. I don't believe that this is what you want your life to be.
Contact a DV organization, make a plan, and GET OUT.
Why the heck are you getting downvoted?!? Everything you've been saying is right on target.
Lmao, the truth always gets downvoted
She’s not interested. Not sure why she didn’t unfollow you, some people just like to see what others are up to.
Unfollow her. She’s not interested and it seems to be holding you back?
People change their minds about all kinds of random shit. Is it also horrible to not disclose you had surgery to fix a broken leg or that you don’t like your dad??
You get to disclose your private information when you feel comfortable
So what was her excuse for wanting to go home with another guy?
Well, you're pretty young, so I get your confusion. You need to dig down into yourself and ask if this matters at all to you. She's a woman and that's it. If anything about that fact doesn't sit right with you, you probably need time to yourself to figure yourself out better. Think about what the future with and without her would mean for you. Think about how you really feel. This could take time. Communicate with her so she doesn't get worried and can know where you two are. Good luck, and be gentle if you can't handle your own insecurities and need to break it off. Remember in this case if you need to break it off it's entirely on you and your feelings, not her.
Wow, that’s…. Idk how to even respond to you. Can you read?
Totally.
“Oooooh…. be poliiiiite”.
Like huh?
WHAT importance does it hold what the people around that crap girl think of OP?
NONE!
In which way does it affect what that crap girl thinks of OP?
IN NO EFFING WAY!
In which way does it affect OP to still dwell on that very negative first impression of a unilaterally messed up first love?
EFFING NEGATIVELY!
What sense does it make to get gaslighted about why she did what she did?
NO sense at all.
That girl called herself a cu.t.
What sense does it make to even reply to someone who has ALL the required insights already about WHY their behsviour was wrong?
IT MAKES NO FRIGGIN SENSE AT ALL.
But “reply. Be polite” hurts the victim.
Stupid people, really.
I’d feel so weird kicking my bf out of the house or vice versa for any reason lol that’s so strange
A couple of things medical staff prepare for.
1.) For women to be cheated on by their husbands during pregnancy. It's one of the reasons many countries integrate STI/STDs tests into other pregnancy tests as undetected STI/STD can harm or even kill mother & baby.
2.) For men to leave their wives/long term partners if they are given a serious health diagnosis.
You're aware your husband is cheating on you. Why else does he leave his phone at the hotel room? Why else is he sending dick pics to women, including your younger sister? Come on now, you know what's going on. It's just up to you what you're going to do about it.
I lean in the same direction.
But why say it at all? You set the wrong president and then the bf might just ignore any valid criticism of his sister by saying “they just aren't compatible” and not address his behaviour in enabling her.
If you ordered a chicken sandwich at a restaurant and the chicken was uncooked and dangerous, you wouldn't start by saying to the waiter “oh it's just not for me, I guess I don't particularly like this sandwich” would you?
Fantastic way of putting it into the words that I couldn't. ?
You’re overthinking this. You don’t know what’s happened to him in the past year. His weight gain might not have anything to do with you. Just move on.
Let's get a few things straight. Your friend is a complete and utter idiot. She should have dumped the cheating husband as per the original plan. What she is doing now is mot who she is. She has compromised her ideals for a cheating husband. So she is now enabling it.
You are her friend and will be influenced by the changes. She is going to tell about her dates and the experiences she is going to have. Your husband is scared. He's cared that you will now ask for an open relationship. He's scared that when you see your friend having “fun” with other guys, you will cheat.
It's often how it goes in these situations. So he's scared. And I get get thinking and reasoning. I was in a similar situation. At the point where I was a bout to ask my wife to cut off her friend, she did it herself. So I can see his point of view.
I guess the decision is yours to make. I'd have long hard talks with him. But i can't see you changing his mind any time soon.
Good luck
Coming from experience this method worked for me and I was the wife in this situation. sandwiching it in a compliment helped to soften the blow. Now I shower almost everyday! I read dry skin in another comment, cold water rinse at the end helps with that.
If you really don’t have a sex drive, as you say, why would you want to date a guy who wants to have sex with you on a regular basis?
(if it matters she does lead guys on and Wayne is somewhat aware. That’s not the point but I guess you could say this comment isn’t coming out of left field).
So… she goes to bars for attention?
Why are you still with him if he's just a pretty face? lulz
Be done with the dude you don't like or keep hanging on doing whatever it is that you think will get him to move you in and pay for everything. Good golly. You supposedly can't even make up your own mind because the dude could spoil you, but you're not worth spoiling to him.
No worries, sometimes you just need to vent.
Do you have any real basis to your fear that he won't help you if you're down on your luck? Because if you do, then that's a little worrying.
If you dont, trust me I know that insecurities can be crippling at times, but talk to him OP.
He kept going after you had indicated you weren’t interested?
Not sure why you feel like you did anything wrong
Hold up. Almost a year and you didn’t know he had bad allergies? he may have allergies but not bad ones if you’ve been together that long you would know already. He is making an excuse and using allergies as the excuse. But regardless his behavior towards you either way, drinking or not is not okay. For him to immediately get that defensive and tell everyone isn’t a good sign regardless of reason. I think it would help you to start reading up on drug use and addiction. Not saying he is an addict. But his actions and reaction to you is exactly what people doing drugs do.
Also, once you have tasted the forbidden fruit, it may be difficult to close the relationship. Does she have a timeline for her recovery?
Youre 22. You have your whole life ahead of you to settle for someone mediocre. Dump him and go have fun. Enjoy your early 20's. I wasted 10 years of my life (ages 23 to 33) with someone and totally regret it.
Yeah, go to a therapist and get support for your insecurities. You’re immediately labeling yourself as being a victim. I was bullied a lot too…the thing that I understand and something you need to learn for yourself is that nonsense is on them. They bullied you because it made them feel better. That’s sad behavior on their end. It troubles you not because of anything she did but because you don’t know how to keep your own anxiety in check. You’re seriously considering ghosting someone who DOESN’T deserve it because you don’t feel like you can measure up to those guys? Well yeah, if you do the toxic thing of leaving her on read and basically going NC.
If you don’t want to be with her then break up with her. Show her the respect of finding out from you that things are done. You were bullied so now you’re going to self sabotage and then maybe possibly cause her to feel insecure with herself? How do you think she’s going to feel if the people she’s been dating for five months stops speaking to her? Have you thought about her perspective and how that may hurt her? Or you focused on how much her body count makes you feel emasculated?
Thanks! We’re actually pretty successful and have been with many women together! And it’s definitely not every time, just something we both enjoy! I really appreciate the support!
Thank you, it's not often i disagree with the general consensus, but this is fucking off the wall.
You can actually kill two birds with one stone here.
Have your boyfriend file a formal complaint to the restaurant management. He can pose as a customer who “witnessed” the harassment. Heck he can go full Karen and complain about it ruined dinner, etc. Management should freak out and do whatever to make this “customer” happy.
Your guess is as good as mine. You'll find out. Go no contact with him and use the time to work on yourself.
emotional. I tried twice, but each time he asks for forgiveness and promises that everything will be different. Deep inside I know it’s not true. but i can’t resist it. I’m sick of myself to be honest, I’ve never been that trapped in relationship before( sorry for my English by the way, it’s not my first language)
Everyone in the post is trying to help you. You posted asking for help/advice. That's what you got
Everyone in the post is trying to help you. You posted asking for help/advice. That's what you got
I mean you're lying to them and they know you are so I really don't see how you expect to earn their trust by continuing your lies. Not a good look and kids absolutely know when you're full of shit.
So you drank, used drugs and hooked up regularly for four years…and now you are asking if you should lie about your past to your boyfriend and manipulate him?
You should think long and hard about the type of person you want to be
Speaking from personal experience, I had an ex that was also obsessed with the idea of taking my virginity (even though I wasn't one and he knew that). He was so delusional and obsessed by the fantasy that he didn't want me to talk about previous partners or sexual experiences because it would ruin the fantasy.
Men with fantasies like this are walking red flags. Especially if they're obsessed with it and can't stop talking about it. The fact that you're afraid to tell him your past is a red flag as well.
Dating is supposed to be a trial period where you decide if another person is the right fit for you; I think maybe he's failed his trial period if you're feeling hesitant to be honest with him about your sexual history.
Your bf thinks you’re a virgin when you’ve actually been ran through. That’s rough.
I think I definitely need to have a serious chat with him about it. I really cannot suppress the feelings any longer. What’s worse is that he makes me feel really bad for asking to get pleasured.
Oh crap
Please I am not crying, I didn’t mean to offend anyone, what structural problem if I may ask?
Because what you said is bullshit.
My dad always says “to make a long story longer” and then adds even more detail…
It was only alcohol and weed, is that that bad?
If you don't want to live by their rules then you can choose not to live with them.
If you want to compromise or negotiate things, do you think it would be worth working with a mediator (with a history of working with people with addictions and their families) to do that? (e.g. do they understand THC and how long it will be in your system, that you testing positive doesn't mean you have lapsed again?)
Of course you are. You’re assuming one bad experience (for you) is universal
I think you should propose. She sounds like a real keeper
You've been together for a month so you aren't in a serious relationship and you definitely don't love her
In that time she has cheated on you and got pregnant, quite possibly with another man's baby
She wants to get an abortion. Let her. Leave her and go and find someone who respects you
Sounds like he playing games.
You know what you have to do, my friend. Your girlfriend is trying to cut you off from friends and is testing you because she thinks it's “necessary” (it is not).
It will not stop at this friend of yours. It will only get worse if you agree to cutting people out of your life for her based on absolutely nothing but her insecurities. Please don't waste any more time on this relationship, I promise you you will regret it if you try to stay with her and cut out friends for her.
When she was 20 or even younger? It's not reasonable to hold that against her now.
He thinks that even though you pay for some of his shit and he's the one with debt?
Girl don't be afraid if a fight. Put your foot down. It seems to me like he sees you as his cash cow and is trying to wheedle you into paying for him even more.
Stand your ground, you don't want a man like this in your life
Thank you very much for taking time to point out things that I need too understand and move on. I really need this. I appreciate you ?? I know that I want to leave him but a part of me still love him and I’m too weak. That’s why I need your help to get over it 🙁 I wish i had never met him once in my life. It hurts me a lot and he acted like nothing happened.
My girlfriend at some point also did this ultimatum, open relationship or break up. She claimed she didn't want to “regret” not living her early-mid 20's to the fullest.
100% exactly like you said; I only agreed to it out of fear of separation, like you said I did feel pinned down to a corner, when your options are the end of a relationship you're attached to or give your partner consent to “cheat” you're really on a lose-lose situation.
She had things with other men twice, both times it completely destroyed me, tortured me, but I did my best to keep it strong while staying monogamous myself…
Thankfully afterwards she came to me and said she feels satisfied with it, that the experience end up not being all that great as she expected and that she has grown so attached to our relationship (we live together) that she wants to return to monogamy as she doesn't want to hurt me further as she's very pleased with what we have…
We're going strong now but it was all in all an awful experience and I know nowadays if she didn't have this change of heart I would have broken up eventually.
I didn't tell her but I don't want to because I think she'd be mad
Once a person shows their true colors, believe them the first time. It'll help you.