Maybe you're looking at it too black and white? I've had a run in with a woman and no matter how much I think about it, or how much I try to make sense of it; it never does.
Because like you; I don't think the girl in my experience is “evil”, or does things because she wants to be evil. Sometimes these people are just unstable and do unstable and for whatever reason that is; it's their problem. Not yours.
Maybe you don't see her as an evil person, also clouded by your relationship that I'm sure also had its good times, that she doesn't reach the “evil” check mark as you know. But.. like the comment you replied to mentioned, it's not normal and you've literally done everything to communicate and explain things in a healthy way that this is not ok. You, op, are not evil. She? Maybe also not.
But she is certainly not healthy for you. Whatever she is to or for herself, nobody should care, it's not a burden you should bear. Let her better herself whenever she wants and how she wants it, or continue with her sick behavior and learn how to channel it… In a healthy manner. Not your mountain to climb. She disrespected you numerous times and caused you physical harm as well.
Please get physiological help about sexual abuse/physical abuse (usually the therapists that specialise in sexual abuse can do both, the other way around not). It's hard, it's tough and I know how fucking unfair and like a great injustice it feels, but you deserve forgiveness from yourself, you deserve forgiveness and peace. It doesn't matter what she deserves, you deserve it.
Stay strong mate, and never stop sharing your struggles and always reach out. Proud of you.
There’s a difference between being attracted to younger women and pursuing a woman almost a decade younger than you by telling her she’s “too mature for her age”…
No. It isn't even close to getting a prenup. It's saying I don't trust you and think you cheated on me. F that. You come at me with that and you're gone. I abhor cheaters and I will not allow someone I care about to accuse me of that and still be like 'it's just like a prenup'… ?
There are two separate issues. One is about whether to open your relationship or how much. The other is him being predatory towards his friends. I recommend checking out subs dealing with nonmonogamy to answer the first question.
I agree that his friend group should have brought this to him instead of you. But, now you know. I couldn’t act normal around my partner while waiting for the friends to have the conversation. So, I think you should just bring it up to him. Idk if he has a drinking problem or a sex problem or what, but something isn’t right here. You two need to work out some boundaries and if he doesn’t make some sort of change so he isn’t assaulting people, you all should dump him.
We live in a world where a smart phone can zoom into someone's window from a city block away. You telling me the only evidence they had was a granny video where you can't even see who the person was.
It is a little weird for her to mute herself etc if she's never done that around other friends before. However, you could be feeling apprehensive about the laughing/muting thing because you already feel taken aback by not knowing she was staying there.
I'm not sure if it's normal to stay at a friends place when you go on a work trip, but maybe someone else can weigh in about that?
Don't approach the situation from the worst mindset/possibility yet.
I'd say something like; “Hey, in the past you've let me know when you're staying with people, and I really appreciate that communication. I was a bit taken aback that you didn't this time. Is there any reason for that?”
Maybe you're looking at it too black and white? I've had a run in with a woman and no matter how much I think about it, or how much I try to make sense of it; it never does.
Because like you; I don't think the girl in my experience is “evil”, or does things because she wants to be evil. Sometimes these people are just unstable and do unstable and for whatever reason that is; it's their problem. Not yours.
Maybe you don't see her as an evil person, also clouded by your relationship that I'm sure also had its good times, that she doesn't reach the “evil” check mark as you know. But.. like the comment you replied to mentioned, it's not normal and you've literally done everything to communicate and explain things in a healthy way that this is not ok. You, op, are not evil. She? Maybe also not.
But she is certainly not healthy for you. Whatever she is to or for herself, nobody should care, it's not a burden you should bear. Let her better herself whenever she wants and how she wants it, or continue with her sick behavior and learn how to channel it… In a healthy manner. Not your mountain to climb. She disrespected you numerous times and caused you physical harm as well.
Please get physiological help about sexual abuse/physical abuse (usually the therapists that specialise in sexual abuse can do both, the other way around not). It's hard, it's tough and I know how fucking unfair and like a great injustice it feels, but you deserve forgiveness from yourself, you deserve forgiveness and peace. It doesn't matter what she deserves, you deserve it.
Stay strong mate, and never stop sharing your struggles and always reach out. Proud of you.
There’s a difference between being attracted to younger women and pursuing a woman almost a decade younger than you by telling her she’s “too mature for her age”…
Thanks! It is a good idea! It was his idea ??
No. It isn't even close to getting a prenup. It's saying I don't trust you and think you cheated on me. F that. You come at me with that and you're gone. I abhor cheaters and I will not allow someone I care about to accuse me of that and still be like 'it's just like a prenup'… ?
Still funny. Guess I’m overreacting.
There are two separate issues. One is about whether to open your relationship or how much. The other is him being predatory towards his friends. I recommend checking out subs dealing with nonmonogamy to answer the first question.
I agree that his friend group should have brought this to him instead of you. But, now you know. I couldn’t act normal around my partner while waiting for the friends to have the conversation. So, I think you should just bring it up to him. Idk if he has a drinking problem or a sex problem or what, but something isn’t right here. You two need to work out some boundaries and if he doesn’t make some sort of change so he isn’t assaulting people, you all should dump him.
She also has bipolar disorder. So idk if that's her bipolar talking or if she actually wanted to break up.
She left me in a confused state that I don't know what to say or do just flabbergasted
We live in a world where a smart phone can zoom into someone's window from a city block away. You telling me the only evidence they had was a granny video where you can't even see who the person was.
I don't buy the cheating accusations.
It is a little weird for her to mute herself etc if she's never done that around other friends before. However, you could be feeling apprehensive about the laughing/muting thing because you already feel taken aback by not knowing she was staying there.
I'm not sure if it's normal to stay at a friends place when you go on a work trip, but maybe someone else can weigh in about that?
Don't approach the situation from the worst mindset/possibility yet.
I'd say something like; “Hey, in the past you've let me know when you're staying with people, and I really appreciate that communication. I was a bit taken aback that you didn't this time. Is there any reason for that?”
That's not the same at all. Apples to oranges