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Date: October 18, 2022
Love is a choice, my dude, not an emotion. It is a choice one makes, again and again. Lust, infatuation, desire, joy, comfort; these are all emotions, and you use these emotions to make the choice to love. When people love each other, really and truly love each other, they are waking up every day and choosing to encourage and nurture their love. You will never ever click in with someone and be a perfect flawless loving match from the word 'go'. It just doesn't happen like that, because perfect flawless people don't exist.
I have been with my wife for twelve years. It was not always easy and simple and clean. We have had rough times. We have had issues, internal and external. We are not 100% sexually compatible. We are not 100% emotionally in tune. Hell, our hobbies only overlap by about half. But when the going got rough, we decided, each on our own, that the work was worth it. And I have never been as in love with her as I am right now.
Which I think may be your issue. You're scared of the work going to waste. What if you put in all this effort and it doesn't work out? What if you dare open your heart and you end up breaking up with this person? So you look for all the little teeny tiny shit that comes with sharing space and spit with another human, and you decide these are reasons they are unworthy of you. You're self-sabotaging like a mother. Get thee into therapy and talk about how your desire for a perfect partner who requires no work from you is a defense mechanism against getting your hopes up over someone who doesn't work out.
Just let her go and let her go find real support. She was DRUNK she could have gotten raped trying to get back to her damn dorm! Would that have been more accepting for your ass? Like you’re seriously hung up on a drunk person going to chill out from partying in a room with someone she trusted TO KEEP HER SAFE! I hope she finds this post and leaves you.
This has to be a troll post. No way a person can be this delusional.
Please know this is not okay. During a difficult, stressful time, it's normal for libido to drop. While your partner may be frustrated at times, it's not okay for her to lash out at you or pressure you into sex.
And it's not okay for her to beat you with a mistake constantly. You make up and move on. It shouldn't be used to bludgeon you with every time she's unhappy.
This is all textbook toxicity and you should not stay and put up with it.
The only reason for him to keep the videos is because he watches them.
So maybe he isn’t cheating on you with these sex workers physically, but he is likely watching the videos and jerking off to them.
masturbating and sex is way different. sometimes i prefer to masturbate instead of sex and vice versa
You’ve only been married for 3 months…why would you ever think that the marriage is strong and solid enough to bring in a third party? And honestly, even the most solid of marriages wouldn’t be able to survive this. And your reasoning being that you just moved to a new state…GET A FRIEND! Not a side piece. From what I’ve read, you two probably should never have gotten married at this stage in your lives anyway, and it would be for the best if you separated.
Do not even start trying for a 3rd until you give her all the information. She deserves to know. You didn't stand by her in the bad and only want her during the good. That's terrible. You should have been standing by her not getting your d!ck wet and badmouthing your wife to your side piece.
More communication. Seems like maybe you two don't talk to each other about how you feel. Have you talked to him about how you feel when he doesn't call on the days he doesn't? Not that he doesn't call you but how you feel when he doesn't. Many relationships break up because they can't communicate.
whoa cool your jets. NO ONE said that I would “need her” to make the payments… I wouldn't be making a massive purchase like a home if I wasnt capable of handing it 100% on my own. So shove off with that im taking her advantage of her because I expect her to pay her fair share of living in a home we share.