I'm sorry OP, that's brutal. It's really hard to deal with the disconnect of who you know your Mom to be and then her choices. People pick bad partners. It's not uncommon. At the end of the day you are an adult so you are not trapped there, and trust me that is a good thing. Just love your Mom and try to show her grace.
He doesn't want to cause drama, that tells me that he cheated with someone close to you and it would really hurt you and cause alot of problems! I would dump him and I would tell your cousin what happened. I would also tell him that if he stands a chance for you to forgive him he has to come completely clean. I personally would tell him to get the hell out
I'm not sure if you've talked to an attorney yet, but you need to before taking custody of the child.
Regardless of DNA, if you are in the US and not on the birth certificate, you are not the father. If grandma has guardianship, you are going to need legal proof that the child is yours to make medical decisions, enroll her in school, and to protect her from the very real possibility that mom, or even grandma, changes their mind and takes the child back.
This should not be an overly difficult or costly process, but it is necessary for your and your daughter's protection.
True, but you have to respect his boundaries. This is in his eyes a betrayal from the person he loves, you are equally the person he wants to see most and the one he wants to see least right now. If you beg and plead it could lead to him making the worst possible choice because he's to overwhelmed to sort his emotions out at his own pace.
I suggest leave him be for a little while, let him think on it. You begging and talking and making excuses will only make it worse.
Nobody deserves love. You have to be the kind of person that the person you're pursuing, wants.
I'm sorry OP, that's brutal. It's really hard to deal with the disconnect of who you know your Mom to be and then her choices. People pick bad partners. It's not uncommon. At the end of the day you are an adult so you are not trapped there, and trust me that is a good thing. Just love your Mom and try to show her grace.
Thank you, it’s just really heartbreaking to come to terms with, but I needed to hear it ❤️?
He doesn't want to cause drama, that tells me that he cheated with someone close to you and it would really hurt you and cause alot of problems! I would dump him and I would tell your cousin what happened. I would also tell him that if he stands a chance for you to forgive him he has to come completely clean. I personally would tell him to get the hell out
It’s the crueler thing to not tell him.
People just say “they’re better off not knowing” because they want to reframe cowardice as compassion.
It’s not appropriate at all. Find a new therapist.
You’re not compatible. He likes them. You hate them. This will never work.
It's also a misnomer that makes people think the victim is abusive and that mutual abuse is real (it's a myth.)
“Reactive violence” might be a better term?
I'm not sure if you've talked to an attorney yet, but you need to before taking custody of the child.
Regardless of DNA, if you are in the US and not on the birth certificate, you are not the father. If grandma has guardianship, you are going to need legal proof that the child is yours to make medical decisions, enroll her in school, and to protect her from the very real possibility that mom, or even grandma, changes their mind and takes the child back.
This should not be an overly difficult or costly process, but it is necessary for your and your daughter's protection.
True, but you have to respect his boundaries. This is in his eyes a betrayal from the person he loves, you are equally the person he wants to see most and the one he wants to see least right now. If you beg and plead it could lead to him making the worst possible choice because he's to overwhelmed to sort his emotions out at his own pace.
I suggest leave him be for a little while, let him think on it. You begging and talking and making excuses will only make it worse.
Parenthood is a very fundamental right.