Total lack of respect on his part. Do you really want to get back with a guy that would do this type of stunt while you are trying to cope with your health issues? He is either trying to make you jealous so you will get back with him sooner,or is just not a caring human being with intention of toying with your mind.
Either way, you need to get rid of him immediately. Like 5 minutes ago. He is pretty cruel to do this knowing you are having mental health issues. Go completely NC as he is going to be toxic judging from what he showed you. Your mental health will not recover if he is constantly needling at you.
You are within your right to say it, and so are the men who ask their wives to drop some weight. You guys aren’t abusers or some shit for wanting to be attracted to your partner. People need to be fr.
You’ll both be way happier and healthier if you just do the work. Or you both will stay defeated and unhappy if you don’t.
One suggestion that I have is to get into pickle ball. I have been tracking my workouts on Apple Watch. It’s like 600-800 calories every time I play with my friends. Doesn’t even feel like it. It’s fun.
Then the key is just to not eat those calories back. You should step up your healthy cooking game. You are the one asking, after all. Learn to make some healthy dinners that are also delicious. Be the quarterback of grocery shopping in the home, if you aren’t already. Take charge in the kitchen and make him go way out of his way to eat or drink anything that is bad for him.
In what way is she “out of your league” – do you mean that she’s prettier than you? So what? No one chooses their face, that’s a lucky break for her but it doesn’t make her above you.
You’ve been together since you were 16-17, which means you have hardly any experience with other people. The divorce rate is much higher for couples who got together so young: one or both partners eventually can’t stop thinking about what they missed out on by committing so early.
It’s unlikely her work friends spontaneously started harping about her being “out of her league.” They picked up on her growing doubts and reflected them back to her.
Right now she’s panicking because she has hardly any life experience outside your relationship. Neither do you. That’s not a good basis for marriage. Go date other people for a few years.
I think the only reason it concerns is because it’s not just, “heh, I’m looking forward to next weekend”. In my head it’s more like “god, I gotta go through this whole week before I see her again” even though “this whole week” is pretty exciting yet I still only want to see her.
Think I’m overthinking this the more I type. Realising how ridiculous it sounds to be worried why I’m looking forward to seeing her.
Appreciate your advice nonetheless, thank you. I think you’re spot on.
nope she was everything i wanted. everything. i will never find a woman like her again. ever. its taken everything form me and ended in theh worst way imaginable. and i cant cope with it. im so devastated.
I hate this mentality. While it's undoubtedly true in many cases, it's not in 100% of them. It should be noted, it's really difficult for men to find compatible partners for this type of relationship, even when the wife is open to it, more so when he admits she's not.
Poly, open, non-monogamy are all part of a lifestyle, a community. It's not some guy going to a bar and hooking up with a stranger, nor two coworkers having crushes on each other. Cheating happens, absolutely, but cheating and the lifestyle are two very different things.
Let me be clear, I'm not saying OP should allow her husband to be in an open relationship if she's not comfortable with it. I'm also not saying OP should learn to be comfortable with it. It's definitely not for everyone, and that is absolutely ok. Anyone trying to shame her is breaking the first rule of the lifestyle, which is respecting oneself and others, in and outside of the LS. I'm just saying the fact OP's husband has shown interest doesn't mean he already has a partner picked out.
And she’s pregnant
Total lack of respect on his part. Do you really want to get back with a guy that would do this type of stunt while you are trying to cope with your health issues? He is either trying to make you jealous so you will get back with him sooner,or is just not a caring human being with intention of toying with your mind.
Either way, you need to get rid of him immediately. Like 5 minutes ago. He is pretty cruel to do this knowing you are having mental health issues. Go completely NC as he is going to be toxic judging from what he showed you. Your mental health will not recover if he is constantly needling at you.
You’re a nut. ?
You are within your right to say it, and so are the men who ask their wives to drop some weight. You guys aren’t abusers or some shit for wanting to be attracted to your partner. People need to be fr.
You’ll both be way happier and healthier if you just do the work. Or you both will stay defeated and unhappy if you don’t.
One suggestion that I have is to get into pickle ball. I have been tracking my workouts on Apple Watch. It’s like 600-800 calories every time I play with my friends. Doesn’t even feel like it. It’s fun.
Then the key is just to not eat those calories back. You should step up your healthy cooking game. You are the one asking, after all. Learn to make some healthy dinners that are also delicious. Be the quarterback of grocery shopping in the home, if you aren’t already. Take charge in the kitchen and make him go way out of his way to eat or drink anything that is bad for him.
In what way is she “out of your league” – do you mean that she’s prettier than you? So what? No one chooses their face, that’s a lucky break for her but it doesn’t make her above you.
You’ve been together since you were 16-17, which means you have hardly any experience with other people. The divorce rate is much higher for couples who got together so young: one or both partners eventually can’t stop thinking about what they missed out on by committing so early.
It’s unlikely her work friends spontaneously started harping about her being “out of her league.” They picked up on her growing doubts and reflected them back to her.
Right now she’s panicking because she has hardly any life experience outside your relationship. Neither do you. That’s not a good basis for marriage. Go date other people for a few years.
I think the only reason it concerns is because it’s not just, “heh, I’m looking forward to next weekend”. In my head it’s more like “god, I gotta go through this whole week before I see her again” even though “this whole week” is pretty exciting yet I still only want to see her.
Think I’m overthinking this the more I type. Realising how ridiculous it sounds to be worried why I’m looking forward to seeing her.
Appreciate your advice nonetheless, thank you. I think you’re spot on.
nope she was everything i wanted. everything. i will never find a woman like her again. ever. its taken everything form me and ended in theh worst way imaginable. and i cant cope with it. im so devastated.
You. Deserve. Better.
I hate this mentality. While it's undoubtedly true in many cases, it's not in 100% of them. It should be noted, it's really difficult for men to find compatible partners for this type of relationship, even when the wife is open to it, more so when he admits she's not.
Poly, open, non-monogamy are all part of a lifestyle, a community. It's not some guy going to a bar and hooking up with a stranger, nor two coworkers having crushes on each other. Cheating happens, absolutely, but cheating and the lifestyle are two very different things.
Let me be clear, I'm not saying OP should allow her husband to be in an open relationship if she's not comfortable with it. I'm also not saying OP should learn to be comfortable with it. It's definitely not for everyone, and that is absolutely ok. Anyone trying to shame her is breaking the first rule of the lifestyle, which is respecting oneself and others, in and outside of the LS. I'm just saying the fact OP's husband has shown interest doesn't mean he already has a partner picked out.
Don’t you mean stop fucking the boyfriend?
OP, dump him. You can do so much better.
Is this a cultural thing? Are you in the states or a “western” nation?