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Date: October 1, 2022
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No, it is not to late.
Of course, you look at the right place AND the right type of person.
What’s the odds he already was flirting with said friend beforehand? Like I don’t know if many people would jump into bed with someone who they saw as a purely platonic friend a week after separating with their long term spouse.
I am just confused as to how any of what you said afterwards supports that comment in the first place?
People pointed out that abortion is a form of birth control and then every talking point afterwards was irrelevant.
I guess because it’s something I wouldn’t waste my time doing, I found it weird. And yes I get you .. brands changing recipes can really mess you up. I just saw it as such a waste of time. There aren’t enough hours in the day. Maybe as I was so busy cooking and cleaning and catching up with work.. it annoyed me that he was so… FREE.
“There's NOTHING in your post about the relationship with her and her partner being bad at all.”
IN THE FUTURE, IF they were to break up.
“I have no idea what the connection is between her moving to YOUR country and work in HER city/country.”
I have moved to HER country and city for potential job opportunities there.
“Quite honestly, it sounds like you're Delusional and you should seek help.”
There does seem to be a consensus there, thanks for that. Reddit: probably not the best source of advice. I am fully aware of the lack of communication on her side. What is interesting, to me, is how its meaning or my feelings towards it have changed in a few days. That I am anxious that what I am doing is damaging and not beneficial? That is not a delusional state of mind.
This was a counter-factual post, WHAT IF I am right?
“Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.”
You are under no obligation to go out with this woman but man, I can't imagine holding onto my trauma from middle school, and I was brutally tormented until my sophomore year of high school. It's just so exhausting.
Which is why I don't think it's a good idea to go on a date and drag it all back up. Coffee is even pushing it for me, but do what you need to get closure and put this behind you. You were children and young children can be utter monsters. I've met a few of my worst tormenters as adults and they became close friends because I had it in me to forgive them and move forward as friends. Not everyone does, and that's okay. I'm glad I got that closure because it was important for me, but everyone is different.
You're not the same person you were a few years ago, let alone a decade and a half ago. They're (hopefully) not the same either but you don't need to find out.
Don't dredge up the past if it will trigger you. Leave the past where it is and let it die. Some can let it die and forge a new relationship from the ashes, others can't. You do you and keep living your best life, just please try to let go of the resentment. It's only hurting you.
He’s been in jail since you were 17. You don’t really know who he is. Aside from white collar crime, I can’t think of any crime with a stiff sentence that wouldn’t require some level of caution around kids.
You really should have respected your wife on this one. She has the right to get to know & vet the people her kids are around. You have that right and responsibility as well.
Just get a lawyer and discuss options. He's not going to change.