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Date: October 17, 2022
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Gahd I hate this fad that men are supposed to just bend over backwards when a woman doesn't even say so. So popularized by social media. He loves you enough to deal with this dumb shit and if that ain't enough get lost. All this “get me cheetos” at 3 am crap needs to stop. If you're going to compare your relationship to others you see on social media your an idiot. Not saying that is op just had to say it. To op I say just ask or tell a guy what is going on he isn't a mind reader… that I know of.
You get UTI by not peeing directly after sex. Also, don’t have sex with someone who doesn’t do foreplay. It doesn’t sound like he cares about your pleasure at all.
She sounds awful.
If it walks like a duck, sounds like a duck, looks like a duck and swims like a duck then it is a duck.
You thought she was a she this entire time. She did the full change and is now female in all except a few chromosomes. And those don’t matter. You can even adopt if you want kids (please adopt. There are so many that need good loving homes).
I'd work the for free if that meant could burst this assholes bubble!
Sign me up
First of all, good on you for having a mature and measured response to this. And good on her for recognizing what was going on and coming straight to you to tell you about it. Both of those things are pretty rare in posts here, and I hope all the paranoid insecure redditors reading your post recognize that the reason your girlfriend felt comfortable approaching you with this and telling you about it is BECAUSE you have this type of reaction instead of a meltdown. It's easier to be honest with a partner who doesn't punish you for it.
Is there anything else I should be saying or asking about?
My impression of her is that she would tell you if this guy were being flirty, and that would be the only other question I'd have. If he's not pursuing her AND your girlfriend is honest enough to give you a heads up about a crush then I think you're good.
Did I handle it correctly?
I think so. If I were in your shoes when she volunteered the option of cutting contact herself I probably would have taken her up on it, but since you've already told her there's no need I wouldn't recommend going back and changing that. Either way you know you can trust her to talk to you if the situation changes.
If this crush doesn’t fizzle out what steps should she or I take to resolve it?
If she comes to you and says it hasn't fizzled out then that might be a good time to revisit the cutting contact offer. But for now I think you're both doing a great job of handling this.
Was our break up premature?
Unless one of you changed their mind in the meantime, no, and neither of you are probably gonna be changing your mind any time soon anyways.
(Not) wanting to have kids is a big life decision, and generally not one you change your mind on