OP, question. What’s her mom like? Does she have some childhood trauma?
Only asking because my best friend (since the 3rd grade) does the SAME EXACT THING to her husband. It hurts to watch it happen. Her mom used to freak out on them for being impolite and “embarrassing her in front of others” for things that were unreasonable to be upset about. She would come up with harsh and abusive punishments for it. My friend (without realizing it) is now mimicking this behavior because she grew up with it as “normal” and I don’t think she’s aware that behavior like yours is completely normal and acceptable. Like something in her brain needs to be re-wired. She reacts that way because she’s watching him do something that is burned into her mind as “taboo”.
I’ve been meaning to try and find a good time to have a heart to heart with her about it. It’s going to be a difficult conversation. I love her husband to death. He’s the only person in her life that’s ever treated her with the kindness and respect that she deserves.
I guess that would be an option, it just sucks because I know I would really enjoy this evening if it wasn't for that breakup… But I'll definitly consider it, after all there's still time to cancel
I think it comes to financial disparities. My boyfriend and I bought a house together and are still separate with finances. Obviously we aren’t married so no big deal.
However we do plan to get married. One big thing for me is his job path will lead him to where he’ll make roughly 400k a year. Mine likely will only get to 100k.
The life he will be able to afford is way out of the life I could if we strictly kept things separate. I’d either have to be sad watching him go on luxurious vacations and buy all these expensive items, or I’d be stressed trying to financially keep up with him so I could go on these vacations as well. More than likely he’d just end up paying for me, as well for every thing for our future kids. So at that point what’s the difference between joint and separate?
OP, question. What’s her mom like? Does she have some childhood trauma?
Only asking because my best friend (since the 3rd grade) does the SAME EXACT THING to her husband. It hurts to watch it happen. Her mom used to freak out on them for being impolite and “embarrassing her in front of others” for things that were unreasonable to be upset about. She would come up with harsh and abusive punishments for it. My friend (without realizing it) is now mimicking this behavior because she grew up with it as “normal” and I don’t think she’s aware that behavior like yours is completely normal and acceptable. Like something in her brain needs to be re-wired. She reacts that way because she’s watching him do something that is burned into her mind as “taboo”.
I’ve been meaning to try and find a good time to have a heart to heart with her about it. It’s going to be a difficult conversation. I love her husband to death. He’s the only person in her life that’s ever treated her with the kindness and respect that she deserves.
I guess that would be an option, it just sucks because I know I would really enjoy this evening if it wasn't for that breakup… But I'll definitly consider it, after all there's still time to cancel
I think it comes to financial disparities. My boyfriend and I bought a house together and are still separate with finances. Obviously we aren’t married so no big deal.
However we do plan to get married. One big thing for me is his job path will lead him to where he’ll make roughly 400k a year. Mine likely will only get to 100k.
The life he will be able to afford is way out of the life I could if we strictly kept things separate. I’d either have to be sad watching him go on luxurious vacations and buy all these expensive items, or I’d be stressed trying to financially keep up with him so I could go on these vacations as well. More than likely he’d just end up paying for me, as well for every thing for our future kids. So at that point what’s the difference between joint and separate?