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LimaAnastasia Public Chat Channel
Date: October 10, 2022
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WeekendPussy
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That's grooming behavior. That's what predators do to groom. You should be alerting the police. You should be sitting down eith your son to explain that self exploration is okay but an adult should never be engaging in this with him.
When did he call you fat?
I say to address to avoid this man hanging around in the back drop of their relationship. Questions that need to be addressed, who is he, how long did it go on for, when did it end (cross reference when your relationship began) and what were your feeling for him. Because chances are she was in love with him and he didn’t want her outside the bedroom. OP deserves answers to all those questions if he is going to be committed to her. If she doesn’t want to answer she can go be with someone who won’t see it as a big deal. That’s all I’m saying
I'd agree with dad that it's just not a tasteful comment. First because it talks of assaulting someone with a boob. Secondly because it sounds like something a crude, low quality person would say. Openness like this is like public displays of affection that go way too far. Very few people feel comfortable around someone saying crude things nor do they feel comfortable in place where people are making out in public. It's just not tasteful.
You said it wasn’t possible to get help with what I shared and I said I have. Please take in context.
Good night
You don't need anyone else to validate your feelings. You have your own values and your own boundaries. If you are still feeling the same way, and not entirely able to trust him, odds are that you never will. Is it acceptable to you to remain in a relationship with someone that you will always be doubting or questioning their behavior?
But I’m not lonely and horny. I got goofy calls. Me and dude I stopped talking on sept. Stopped thinking about him in October but now in December my mind and every part of my fiber wants him.
I expressed to him how my other relationship ended by my ex-boyfriend of 7 years being addicted to porn, and eventually it turning into him body shaming me, and that I had boundaries on the situation being compulsive on his end, he felt sympathy for me and said that that’s some thing he never does now today December 11 I find porn all through his phone.
Why did you put all that information about your ex-boyfriend into the conversation you were having with this guy? You set this whole situation up for toxicity by immediately making it about your ex instead of about the father of your child.
She gave him access to her home which suggests a physical as well as emotional affair. She told him she loved him. She’s been carrying on for a few months.
Not something you can get over in a few days.
When a person cheats, it’s up to them to rebuild the relationship, it’s not up to the betrayed to make the relationship work.
She needs to cut all contact with this guy. She needs to be totally open with you. Open phone and other communication devices access. Tells you her location. She needs to work out why she pursued this guy. If she felt neglected why didn’t she talk to you rather than seek attention elsewhere? And she needs to take ownership of her actions. Crying is not a useful response. She’s not the one who got hurt, you are. You’re allowed to keep questioning her until you’re satisfied you have the whole picture.
I suspect you haven’t got the full picture yet. It seldom comes out at first. Once you have then you can decide if what she’s done can be recovered from or if she’s gone too far. And if you choose the former she’ll need to implement all the steps above for her to regain your trust. Good luck.
Go looking for demisexual guys, then? They may be your more compatible partners, as demisexual describes the state of not feeling sexually attracted to people until you've built an emotional connection.
“But that's everybody, right?”
Nope! There are plenty of people out there who feel sexually attracted based on appearance alone – they may want to wait until they're emotionally connected to decide if they want to act on it, but they can recognise that the person is attractive right from the get-go. Which would be why physically attractive celebrities rake in the big bucks – because people look at them and find them desirable.
Let’s lay out some events here.
Your ex told you that she was pregnant.
You told her that you wouldn’t be able to coparent with her.
She ask if you were going to be happy about the baby.
You insisted on talking about how she needed to change everything about herself if you were going to coparent.
So she left.
And you’re shocked?
What did you expect to happen when you told her that you couldn’t coparent with her? Did you expect her to have a come-to-Jesus moment and go, “Oh, you’re right, I’ll instantly transform myself”?
She did precisely what most people would do. She took you at your word. You told her that you didn’t want to raise a baby with her. She couldn’t rip out her womb and hand it to you, so she left with the baby. And you’re upset because you think she should have done the other thing, which was… change every part of herself.
That's kinda how karma works. You really hurt her when you cheated on her. In your case, karma waited until you had developed a greater bond to your girlfriend before it came to collect on your debt. Now you're getting back what you have tenfold.
It is not youre fault. You have done nothing wrong. Call the police, that is a threat of domestic violence and murder. Call the police. If the DA won't prosecute get a restraining order. If he violates that a certain amount of times (different depending on where you are) he can get jail time. He is toxic asf and you need to het him out of your life. If you feel unsafe where you are ask a trusted close friend and/or family member to come round to your place. You cannot blame yourself. You need him out your life.
I saw your edit…and I believe you have now edited again?
I was under the assumption from the first post you went there, talked briefly, then had sex. Kind of the ole wham-bam, then left.
Then i saw earlier that didn't you say you talked awhile, she spoke of her family and everything, seemed sincere?
Now it just says you got her name but forgot since you were drunk.
I'm confused.
Hi, I don't know if you're in the UK or US but if its the UK here's the rules.
There is nothing to report. A person with HIV positive status is under no legal obligation to disclose that to anyone, not even sexual partners.
A person with HIV who is on medication will likely have a viral load in the blood which is undetectable. And if this is the case then unprotected sex will not transmit HIV. That is almost impossible.
If a person has active HIV and is having unprotected sex knowing that then that's an issue. If it's active HIV the person will most likely know this themselves.
Lastly, to not contract HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases is the responsibility of – the person who is having sex – if one or both of the parties have chosen to have unprotected sex then they have chosen to take a risk, and that is their personal choice –
That’s fucked dude
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Honestly the age thing doesn't bother me at all. My parents have a big age gap and I never cared.
But this guy sounds like a mooch. No one likes a mooch.
How can he not miss me if we were together for 15 months? Does that not mean anything to him?
Ask her if she doesn’t want to be seen interacting with you now, what needs to change for her to feel comfortable? Is that something that can change quickly? Is she willing to do that? Are you comfortable with telling people “we’re not sure what this is” if you do start interacting publicly?
If there’s any hesitation, now isn’t the time.
Maybe you should ask her if she has any reasons why she doesn't want to have sex ?
Maybe it's because she wants to wait for marriage, or maybe she's scared about it ? Maybe she doesn't have libido and is asexual : No matter the reason, it's understandable that you are frustrated and hurt if she doesn't give you one.
If she still refuse to give you a reason, or if her reason doesn't fit your vision of what you're looking for in a relationship, i recommend you to simply break up and hopefully find someone who want to have sex as much as you do.
I tried to get her to stay firm but she gives in after being bitten
Oh for fucks sake. Block him on everything, if he has a key to the door, change the locks. If you see him in the streets start screaming at him ” where is my money ” and say nothing else to him.
Go see a therapist for your issues
PULLING OUT IS OT CONTRACEPTION
He thinks your posting the selfies to try and get attention from other guys.
It's written like some cheesy fan fiction – real people don't speak like this
Oof. I'm so sorry brother. I like your idea of taking legal action.
She made her choice when you told her that you were uncomfortable. Quit trying to hold on to her and move on. It’s not a break but a break up. One of you keeps the dog and the other moves on.
She made her choice when you told her that you were uncomfortable. Quit trying to hold on to her and move on. It’s not a break but a break up. One of you keeps the dog and the other moves on.
She made her choice when you told her that you were uncomfortable. Quit trying to hold on to her and move on. It’s not a break but a break up. One of you keeps the dog and the other moves on.
Really? You can't be affected by something that obviously affects you? When you watch someone close to you and whom you love spiralling down towards some catastrophic outcome, like with addiction or an abusive relationship or health issues, you just have to watch and wait until they're dead? And listen to the complaints and whining while they spiral down?
I actually have cut friends out of my life when they were only ever complaining about their situation and problems, without ever doing anything to change said situations, or accept help or advice to get out. There is only so much a rational human being can take – at some point, it's “if you ever seriously want change and need help, call me – but until then, lose my number” from me.
This is bickering.
Well, you cant fix things if she's unwilling to communicate. Maybe try something like “I want to keep fighting for us and I'd like to know if you feel the same. If you do, then I think we should give couples counseling a shot. I think it would help both of us learn how to communicate with each other better and doing so with an unbiased 3rd person could give us a safe space to sort things out. What do you think?”
Sounds like you already told him you weren’t going to date him right now, so I’m not sure what else you need to do? If the age gap was uncomfortable for you, that’s reason enough to not date him.
So she's totally the type to go to some randos house late at night, but not the type to cheat on you? Sure.
Were you standing near it?
I'll be perfectly honest here and I'm sorry if this is harsh… why are you here? You know this is bad, that its tearing you up. Yet you are willing to be a doormat for this woman. It's obvious that your worth to her is only as great as the willingness to go along with whatever she wants at any given moment.
People here are telling you this and your are making excuses for this horrible person. Put yourself first for once and stand up. Everything else will eventually fall into place.
I'd pull over and dump him tbf lmaoo
Well its because right now shes confused and doesnt know what she is. Sure OP could have phrase it better, but right now she doesnt know what she is so “decides” is pretty close to the right word.
Yes your gender and sexual preference isnt a “decision”, but when you currently dont know what you are you will end up making a decision at what you want to be until you grow into what you actually are. My friends sister came out as lesbian 5 years ago, then came out as trans a year later, then a year after that she realized she wasnt any of those and is just a straight woman. She “decided” she was lesbian and then “decided” she was trans, but eventually grew into actually being a straight woman.
Similarly the same friends other sibling “decided” they were a man for the first 18 years of their life, but started to come into themselves and now theyve grown into being trans and have taken on a new name and everything.
This is idiocy.
If a person does not have a history of abuse does it mean they won't ever become an abuser?
This is break up worthy. I'm sorry you also found out so late in the relationship that your GF is not who you thought she was.
Talk with a lawyer. Stat.
Why the hell should the trust the word of someone who lied to him for 3 years about cheating on him?
Whatever her explanation is, there is no credible reason to believe she won’t just say what makes OP not leave her. Talking to liars just gets you lied to
Yeah you're probably right. From a personal standpoint though, I feel like asking for an open phone policy in this case invites a lot of deleted texts and basically ends the trust of the relationship for both of us right there. Which may be where it's at. Thanks for your perspective!
You paid for these pills. They are your property. Thus, your bf’s parents have not only opened your mail (illegal) but also, they are unlawfully withholding your property from you. Involve the police if you have to.
Believe whatever you want ?♀️
Have you asked your girlfriend exactly why she keeps in contact with her ex? What is the purpose? After six years no less.
Even if she doesn't “reciprocate” she's still open to him, even knowing full well that he is abusive.
By ignoring your feelings, she is telling you how she prioritizes your relationship. This is not a non-issue, but rather speaks volumes!
I wouldn't be outraged, per se – but I would be irritated if my wife let her brother sleep in my bed.
That's like, my personal space – maybe I'm weird about it, but that's really the only place in the house that's just for me.
Truth always comes out. Always.
Honesty is the foundation of any healthy relationship
Your fiancé is making terrorist threats. Long prison sentence. You should tell law enforcement and your family. His employer should be made aware. You should consider planning this so you can leave the area for a while. Death threats are a sign of profound mental illness.
Sounds like you're the one that wants to argue semantics…
Words matter
The smallest part of the question? What question? It's literally foundational to your problem lmfao, what are you even talking about?
Why is she dating someone when she doesn't like how they present themselves? It's a month in and she is already criticising how you express yourself and wants you to wear things you are not comfortable in, possibly even spend a huge amount of money on this, just so she what? Doesn't feel embarassed in public with you? I would not take this well at all and i would most likely leave, because it sounds like she doesn't like you the way you are.
Sorry girly, no sex unless it is safe sex is what you say. Yes, OP, she may be trying to baby trap you. Pulling out does not work (pre-ejaculate can have sperm), her tracking it is BS, as the body sometimes screws up, releases an egg early (or late, or extra eggs). Hold out on no sex until she agrees. This is no joke! Now you only have to worry for the next several weeks in case she got pregnant. Do not let her control the condoms at any point (right now she seems untrustworthy), she could put a hole in or store in heat (weakens the rubber). Control this, OP. You are being smart now. Do not EVER raw dog anymore, unless you want a crying infant. If she truly wants to discuss, go see your (or her) gp, and talk to them about this with you both present.. No doc I know thinks the rhythm method works. High failure rate. 8f she still fights it, may be time to end it, or accept no sex, your choice
You keep saying you were too busy anyways so I don’t understand why you even care atp? You were too busy to keep up with the 3 days. Too busy the next week. You keep saying how busy you are so maybe you just need to figure out a balance or something
Tell him that you want to break up, and when he freaks out tell him that it was a test and he failed and you’re still breaking up with him.
Men cry. Fuck the who whole “men never cry bs” if she doesn't understand that that I honestly say forget her. Been with my wife 10 years & she's seen me cry a handful of times. A man doesn't just cry Infront of anyone so her to act like that I'd say move on
Yes, I’ve removed him on everything so he can’t contact me, I’ve sent him back to his parents house & informed them of the situation and said that he has no reason to contact me, he has no clothes or belongings here anymore. I have my own house but I’m alone, I don’t think he would be bothered enough to come round, even though he’s not himself at the moment that isn’t his character. I do have good friends and family that are amazing, they’re super supportive. It’s just not the same as having a partner here 24/7 but it’s still lovely that I have them all
He is basically abusing you and trying to gaslight you into thinking you are the one abusing him when it's other way around.
The only way to address is to pack your bags and dump his ass. He is threatening you with a violence if he doesn't get his way, so do you want to risk it OP that one fight you'll have he won't pretend he's going to hit you and he'll actually hit you?
You don't understand words you are using or you are awfully dumb and lazy person if you think three replies are “being invested”. The rest I'm not even going to read, because you are repeating same excuses and bs from the beginning. Just don't be surprised when it will come back to bite your ass.
I got a bit emotional myself reading this comment thread – you should be so damn proud of yourself for coming so far in this and realising the extent of what you have been through. You could discuss this with your midwife, maybe she will be able to point you in the direction of some counselling which will help you unpack this as you adjust to motherhood. I can only imagine the mixed emotions you are feeling now – excitement and looking forward to you future mixed with a very scary prospect of single parenting, but just remember you are not alone. I’m glad your partner’s mum has sided with you that you need space from him (hopefully he will now be an ex partner!). Be prepared for him to try other tactics when this doesn’t work, don’t give in, and don’t be afraid to take police action sooner rather than later. It’s you and your baby against the world now! Best of luck, keep us updated if you feel up to it ❤️
If his wife had died, what would his presence have to do about it? she was gonna die regardless if he was there or not, right?
Once a week dinners and offering once every 2 to 3 weeks as a compromise isn't “so much time”. She's not entitled to all of his time. The gf needs to grow up and see past herself. So what his mom doesn't like her, which he didn't even say in the post. She doesn't have to be around her. She's trying to say he can't visit his own mother once every week or even 2 to 3 weeks because it takes away from her. That's not love. Again, that's control and she has no right to lay that out and say he's breaking her trust because he wants to spend time with his mom, no matter how his mom feels about his girlfriend. Now, if HIS behavior is different after he sees his mom, and he's treating his gf shitty then she can and should say I won't be in a relationship where I am disrespected and remove herself from the relationship. Controlling who he spends time with ain't it.
Yeah but we should probably just burn the suitcase instead
After her arranging the meeting, flirting in a language she knew you didn’t speak and texting him like a lovelorn teenager, how you do nothing happened before or after the park meeting? Even if she states he doesn’t reciprocate her feelings, that still doesn’t exclude something has happened.
This is a betrayal that you cannot ignore and emotional affairs can be one-sided. Don’t allow her to dismiss or deflect your anger or concerns around this. What would happen if she caught you expressing your emotional or sexual feelings about what could’ve been to another?
She cheated. This is cheating and you need to decide if it’s forgivable and how she can regain your trust. Anything less will haunt you for the rest of your relationship.
Why the hell are you even worried about the things she did before you knew her in the first place? You admit she's changed so she's clearly not the same person she was back then. You'll have a reason to worry if she starts drunk calling and flirting with other guys while in a relationship with you but until then, stop overthinking so much and focus on who she is, not who she was before you met.
My brother is an addict. Like Frank Gallagher I wouldn’t be shocked if I got a called every morning when I wake up that he died kind of addict. So I definitely get it. And 4 months is a short period, and forgiveness comes with time and making amends which you haven’t seen either of.
My question is… what is your question here? Are you asking for advice about moving forward? Are you looking for validation for your stance (possibly because of outward pressure from those trying to rug sweep?)
I can't imagine a more clear message of “I do not respect you or care for you”
I'm so sorry. You did not deserve that.
The sex is likely bad.
All this doesnt seem to add up to me. After reading this, you listed possibilities that she was drugged/raped or cheated and doesnt want you to know as the stories dont really add up even after admitting she lied. At this point it just seems too much to deal with. Are you sure you want to put up with this type of relationship in the long run?
She is toxic, manipulative, and controlling. Is this really how you want to live? I don't think it is. If you want freedom, then you know what you have to do. It's going to suck, but there's no other way. She's not going to change. If she says she will, it's a lie. She will say anything to keep you from leaving her. You're allowed to have friends. You're allowed to have contact with those friends. This isn't how relationships work.
Tell her she's free to move there on her own. Maybe it's time for a second divorce. You shouldn't have to move away from your kids and grandkids in favor of hers.
also, I replied to the full comment. I’m not familiar with using this style of forums (meaning I don’t really do online forums at all) so I didn’t actually comment on the reply. Apologies.
She had posted on this sub like 1 year ago that she had a crush on someone from her new workplace. She removed the post after the breakup.
Your sister and family sound like jerks.
Savannah can be friends with whomever she wants.
How come when I did try to call her, she blocked me? Following by my best friend completely cutting me off. If she’s secured and not bothered by his friendships , she wouldn’t have done this to us. Now he’s basically in cage against his will. Most likely be doesn’t want to lose his daughter so he chose he. If they didn’t have a kid, it would be me for sure.
I'm gonna try a different angle here. And I'm probably wrong because Reddit has killed my soul, but…OP, are you190% sure that's legit his sister?
Are their parents involved? Are their childhood photos of them?
Or are you the other woman in their messed up sexual fantasies in their relationship/marriage….
Ok Reddit, I need therapy
When you’re a trainer you need to exercise (no pun intended) extreme professionalism because all it takes is one uncomfortable conversation to lose a client or get trashed online…. ESPECIALLY if there are receipts like text messages that can be screen grabbed. PT can be a pretty intimate profession, objectively analyzing someone’s body and form, making light physical contact, and discussing things like diet and lifestyle. You need to be professional and it’s super easy to build an unsavory reputation with a few missteps. And you need to have rigorous boundaries with your clients around communication, contact and consent. If he’s not able to prevent a simple conversation from going too deep or happening at all, he needs to step back and learn how to be a professional with boundaries.
Troll post ? If not then he’s married and trying to play you ??♂️?
His ex-wife had a huge issue with their relationship too? And now he’s no longer married but still “friends” with her? That shows you what his priorities are. Sure the marriage could have ended for a lot of reasons, but you know for a fact that his inappropriate relationship with this girl was one of them and it apparently didn’t deter him.
The fact that he goes on the offensive every time you bring it up is another red flag. A normal guy in a normal friendship with nothing shady going on would understand your discomfort (especially f that same situation contributed to his divorce earlier!) and work on proving it’s nothing; instead he explodes to get you to drop the subject.
I don’t know that they’re fooling around, or that they ever will. I DO know that he considers his relationship with her, whatever that relationship is, more important than his relationship with you, though.