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carmelbunny chat
Date: September 25, 2022
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WeekendPussy
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Could be. I get a vibe that it's not just laziness and he's got a massive hangup about something. In my experience, lazy men don't act like this. It's more manipulative – “but you're so incredible when you're on top. I can't do it as well as you” or they “try” but not really, minimal effort to make it unsatisfying so you won't want to again. Not this shutdown when she tries to discuss it. I'm sure there's more than a little touch of macho bs in the mix too. She's a little older than him, I don't doubt he's had some teasing about older women being harder to please or some such bollocks
Kind of bothers me that OP said in a comment that she wants him on top because she wants to just lie there and be plasured. Bottom isn't “lie back and think of England”, you still participate.
Wow, why are you with someone who shows you so little empathy? U lost a part of your family, a dogs death hurts just as much as a humans. Hopefully it’s just because she’s young, but honestly? She doesn’t sound very nice.
My condolences on your loss sweetie
You don't. You convince her that YOU'RE not ready. She should respect that and hopefully in the future you guys can revisit the subject. Good luck
Imagine having an account for a year and this is the first thing you choose to say lmao.
Help her by leaving her alone!
She dumped you.. adios
Her family is proud of her for standing up for herself!
Major red flag. And if he hates all women, do know you’re included in this. It might not show up in your day to day but I promise you it will when you have arguments. Ask yourself why you’re tolerating a misogynistic man.
Wait she's telling your bf that she's trying to steal his gf (you)? How would that translate into her trying to get with your bf??
We are not here to give you the advice you want – some people may be kind enough to offer the advice you need, however. Remember they are taking time to try to help.
If you cannot hear it, expect low engagement.
I mean, its a pretty dam distasteful comment to make.
I'd be confused if I heard that come out of my GFs mouth.
I won't go in on the bad decisions so far as that seems to have been covered. I will offer training advice though as I've trained 3 dogs to sleep in their own bed.
Step 1. Don't allow your dog in your bed anymore. No exceptions. Not even for a nap or a snuggle while you're still awake. The bedroom is for sleeping and when you go there put her straight in her own bed and tell her to lie down.
Don't make eye contact with her afterwards or say her name. Do not pander to her and if she stands up or crys, say firmly “lie down” tone of your voice is important and must be stern as if you're saying it nicely or playfully you will be sending mixed messages.
Put her bed on your side of the bed where she can see you and also you can reach out an arm to put her back in bed and also to gently make her lie down.
Do this until she's quiet and then go straight to sleep yourself. This will teach your dog that it is time for the pack to sleep. That is her place the bed is yours.
When she is settled with this routine. Move her bed to the foot of the bed so that she can't see you from her bed. You may see some regression at this point and have to repeat step 2 for a few nights.
When all is settled again move the bed across the room and repeat. Once this works put the bed outside your room with the door open. Tell her when it's bed time, lead her to bed, say “lie down” like the other steps and repeat.
If you're happy at this point stop there. She's out of the room, you have your bed and privacy back. If you want her down stairs put the bed at the foot of the stairs and ban her from coming upstairs. Overall it could take a few months but start straight away. They need to be trained to sleep where you want them to by 1 year old at latest.
Hope this helps.
Out of all the relationships I had, this is the best I've ever been. Idk but he really treats me right and loved me the way I wanted to. He puts in effort and showed cared for me. It hurts of course, knowing he does the same things to his official gf
You should pair the shitty treatment memories with affirmations of your worth. You deserved the good moments. You did not deserve the really bad ones. You're worthy of love that doesn't have that level of shit to wade through to get to a few moments of happiness, and once you're ready, you'll find exactly that. You need to make sure you're healed and grown into the person you need to be to give that happiness a solid place in your life when you come across it. And to get there, you need to grieve and heal from this.
Pain is always hard to live through. But it's important to remember getting past grief and pain is a process. You can wish it would suddenly stop or go away, but the only instant solution is ignoring it, and that's more harmful than helpful.
I know it hurts. I know it sucks. But this too shall pass. It will take time and effort, but eventually it will lessen and pass into the background of your life, just like everything else you've survived up to this point.
You have a remarkably good head on your shoulders for to be 19. You're not being selfish or immature, this a personally rational train of thought.
I was gonna tell you to text them a group message of “Look, I forgive you both but I've decided that I don't want either one of you in my life from this point on. Don't contact me again.” tho it looks like you already basically said that only to have them try and hop over your boundaries.
Looking at this from an outside perspective — losing a girlfriend who sees you as a consolation prize/emotional tampon and a best friend who was aiming to fuck your girlfriend no matter what sounds like an absolute win to me
It can be hard for parents when their children go through a break-up. You guys dated for 3 years and during that time you got to know her parents and they got to know you. That time spent together doesn't just dissappear after a break-up and I think it speaks to your character that your ex's father wants to still be friendly.
If I were to guess why now, just after the break-up he was probably completely focused on making sure his daughter was OK and then for a time afterwards didn't want to open up any old wounds with her or you or hurt anyone. Now it's been a while and he thinks he can be friendly without hurting anyone.