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HOTANGELINA&TONY, y.o.
Location: Provence-Alpes-Cte d, ‘Azur, France
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Date: November 28, 2022
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Here's my issue: I don't know why everything has to be black and white. Yes, it can be an invite to put the past behind them. Yes, it can also be rude after talking shit about OP for weeks, without having a chat first or even a personal invite.
Why are all of you insisting it can only be one thing and it has to be the one where OP's feelings are invalidated?
My husband says stupid comments like this to me all the time. During the summer he saw some teenager (17-18 F) running stairs and he said to me, “you should come up here to run these stairs so you can look like her.” It’s just put downs. Nothing for them will ever be good enough. I notice they get worse the better I look- he knows other men have eyes as well I guess. Honestly, I thrive off his insults now. “Oh I can’t? Bet.”
I'm not sure if you want kids or not? But this is an important question. Also everything is rent controlled now, but in your life time this could change. Your apartment may not afford the same stability you think it does. With kids, you might want to move the country, because it might be a much easier lifestyle.
I think you need to really think about what you want. Not what some potential partner wants. Maybe you don't want kids?
Well it comes down to being compatible. Is this going to be hanging over your relationship forever? Always wondering. It’s tough. You need to sit down and have a tough conversation about your future. He needs to be honest with himself about this and how important is it. Same for you.
Whether or not they did anything doesn’t matter at this point. She doesn’t respect you or the boundaries of your relationship and he continues to let her. He’s choosing her friendship over your relationship. You deserve better ?♀️
I mean, I was regularly sexually active at the age of 13 all the way up to now
She is pregnant, this mean lot of hormones. Don't expect rational behaviour. She is obviously afraid you drop her, not an unreasonable idea if you have read that very subreddit.
I advice you to maintain contact, because she expects you won't. You don't have to make excuse for something you did not do. But you can do it for whatever attitude you had that make her sad.
Be steady because she is not. You don't have something romantic for that friend, never did and never will. You have no way to make her believe what she doesn't want to believe. But if she wants to have an husband and a father for the child, she'd better start to trust you. If she miss something from you, she'd better start to tell you : there is a limit to your telepathy.
Stay calm and factual. Ask precise questions. Don't deny : ask where, when, how much, how, who. No sarcasm. You want to be on her side.
Good luck.
Just talk to him about it. Ask some questions. Just be curious of his thoughts and his pursuits.
What made breaking up “impossible” in the past?
What is the point?
His reasons are ridiculous. Of course he doesn’t want them knowing.
Staying with him is agreeing to this broken thinking. One day it will impact you, from other irresponsible thinking. Not to mention you inheriting this debt of luxury.
I don't think you have enough information to persuade you to light yourself on fire to keep this friend warm while she undoes her poor decision making.
It's unlikely that she is far enough removed from the Pied Piper for him not to come chasing the smell of funding. You were able to work past their defamation and make your own way, and hopefully that can be an inspiration to this old friend as she sets out to start from scratch and get her situation in order.