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  1. Gross and shitty behavior but also if he left the mess, how does he even know about the slippers being ruined? The polite thing to do would be to check in and own up to bad behavior but tbh seems like you’re the one who got off Scott free here. You should have been the one to clean up after your friend.

  2. My favorite analogy for this is the shit sandwich. It doesn't matter how delicious the other ingredients are, if you put a tiny piece of turd in there, that becomes the defining feature and it becomes inedible.

  3. 1000% agree with you, im going to take some time off from this dating bullshit for awhile. this chick has stressed me out enough for a lifetime.

  4. That's nice of her to ask, but I would also have felt awkward accepting. I'd have also felt awkward not accepting, lol. This is probably one of those cases where either she shouldn't have a MoH, or there's somebody in her wedding party that has known her longer. I've been to several weddings where neither the bride or the groom have people standing with them. Or their wedding party is family (siblings or cousins mainly).

    It is what it is. And if she's happy having someone that doesn't know much about her doing something like this, then good for her! Makes it easier on you, too, as your speech can be generic and you don't have to worry about including people, because you don't know them or have stories about them.

    BTW, my ex wife didn't have anyone in her party at all, she just didn't feel like she was close enough to anyone at that point in her life, which was true. For whatever reason, she just didn't have close friends. She could have asked any number of girls she knew back then to be her MoH but ultimately chose not to. Within a few years of the wedding, she wasn't in touch with any of her girlfriends from that time – not one. So it was a good decision. I had a best man, but no groomsmen. I could have, but decided not to make it glaringly obvious that my ex wife had no one to stand with her. And she wasn't embarrassed, either. I think she would have been more embarrassed asking friends she wasn't particularly close with to take on this kind of role.

  5. BPD? Best of luck with that. It's going to be a really tough hill to climb. It's just the grim reality of it. People with fears of abandonment aren't going to be cool seeing a video of their bf with another partner doing NSFW stuff.

  6. Frankly, if my boyfriend did this to me, I just wouldn’t be his girlfriend anymore. It’s disrespectful. She doesn’t know if you’re hurt if you’re too drunk to drive you went to a club to 7 AM in the morning. I’m a recovering person and that was a full day for me that didn’t happen very often so like I said, if you’re my boyfriend after behavior like that towards me and having to post it on Reddit, you wouldn’t be any more.

  7. Step 1: get into therapy to get past body image problems. It's tremendously helpful!

    Step 2: don't pick at things that hurt! Like others are saying, bringing it up over and over will just continue making you feel bad. Your boyfriend is happy with you, this should be enough. Now you need to learn to be happy with you.

    Step 3: go listen to Victoria's Secret by Jax, it seriously is an amazing song and always makes me feel a bit better and more confident about my own body.

    People come in all shapes and sizes and the clothing industry has been a HUGE factor in body view disorders for WAY too long. If we didn't have media from these old wrinkly dudes trying to tell us what body type is perfect, we likely would never even consider ourselves less attractive than another woman. It's downright brainwashing on a large scale proportion. So just remind yourself that when you feel down about your body, you are beautiful and perfect how you are, shame on the gross old geezers trying to control some fantasized ideal of the “perfect women's body type”. They've never lived with ovaries, periods, boobs, etc a day in their lives, so entirely fuck them and their opinions.

  8. Lol what? So now can girls are not real people? I’m so sorry, I hadn’t realized we were dealing with spirits! That changes everything! Also, reaching out to them is literally how they make their money. Come on now.

  9. Exactly. OP has no idea what he’s talking about. He shouldn’t be offering medical advice of any kind let alone discourage someone from taking medication.

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  11. I'm exactly in your bf's position, so i may help you a bit here

    When I feel really bad and feel shitty overall because of my health, i generally give hints of this by saying stuff like “X hurt a lot today, I feel terrible” : Generally i like when my partner offer to talk about it, a hug, or some help (depending on the context) : In general, i appreciate to feel that they care about me and bear the pain with me

    It hurt when you're in pain and can't avoid it, but it hurt too when someone you share your life with avoid dealing with this pain by avoiding you : Your BF can't avoid the issue, he don't have that choice. So it'd help him if you showed him that you are in the same boat than him

    If you feel like it's too much, you should be open to him about what your limits are, so he doesn't feel like you are abandoning him. People react way better when they know the reasons behind a behavior rather than just doing it without explanation.

    If you tell him that you'll be doing your best, but that sometimes you'll need to take a step away so you can come back later with more energy and a better mental to help him through, he'll feel like you care and everything should be okay

    If you can't do this at all, and if it's really digging in your mental health despite all that, it's sad but maybe it's simply too much for you to handle, you should consider breaking up. In the end, you DO have a choice to get away from this if you really need to, at the cost of the relationship

  12. She doesn't want to hurt your feelings but she's not been enjoying the sex you've had nearly as much as you have.

  13. YTA, it's all your fault you feel this way.

    Your lack of interest in her in the beginning was a immature move, she deserves better.. Stop judging her and treat her better.

    Also you had no right for setting this boundary and not commit to her better yourself. YTA

  14. I have never seen people have a professional only relationship that felt comfortable enough to send a message like that.

  15. Yeah, I think she wants to explore the possibility. But honestly, for me this shows how eager she is and how incompatible our needs might be.

  16. Part of me wants to believe he would be willing to change

    Don't do that to yourself.

    Be in a relationship where you 'hope they change'… go after someone who comes to the relationship correct in the first place.

    Also, avoid men like this:

    he seems like he is down for anything

    You want someone who has a goal, who knows what they want and is willing to put in the work to achieve it. Signing up to a relationship with someone who has a “Whatever” attitude, won't lead you anywhere.

    In translation… you're being convenient to him right now.

    Why would him being perfectly fine without you, matter to you? Don't you think that shows how little he actually cares about the relationship…?

    Don't be bothered by that. Instead, hold your chin up high and tell yourself:

    I am his loss. I would have been a great GF to him. He is the one who is not participating in the relationship.

    So, I will take my energy and love to someone who is more deserving of it.

    He is not my loss because I deserve better.

  17. If you can’t even have a verbal disagreement with someone you consider a good friend then who are you going to defend your SO against? It’s not like 4 guys were all there at the same time, the “friend” followed the gf around by himself and still the boyfriend did nothing.

  18. Then leeeaaaveee! He doesn't appreciate you at all! And sorry but money really is no indicator how much someone cares about you.

    He just talks to you very disrespectful and doesnt seem to support you mentally at all.

    As for my bf I can honestly say, that everyday he helps me be a better person and to grow. By supporting MY goals. By telling me how pretty I am despite some more weight. By simply being nice to me. If he would tell or text me “you fucking suck” he could pack his bags immediately. That is under no circumstances a way to talk to your partner who you LOVE

  19. Why is she still your girlfriend?

    Honestly. She cheated and is now spending every conversation trying to gaslight you into believing she didn’t do anything wrong.

    Just break up. Why are you fighting for a woman that couldn’t stay faithful for four minuscule months lol?

  20. If he's hurting you constantly and making no effort to do better, why on earth would you want to be with him?

    Love is supposed to make you feel better, not hurt you.

  21. She violated YOUR trust by engaging in this behaviour with someone else. If she's not willing to show proof that what she's saying is true AND then committing to doing the work to rebuild your trust, its because she has something to hide, and you don't need me or anyone else to tell you what that is.

  22. She wad his BEST FRIENDS GF. He knows why and when they broke up as they all were close friends.

    She is most likely the one who doesn't want him hence he can't do much and is forced to be in the friendzone

  23. Better to find out now before they get married and have kids. She'd probably use drinking as an excuse, but it isn't one. If getting drunk is all it takes to get you to cheat on someone you supposedly love and want to be in a long-term commitment with, then you aren't really ready for it or it wasn't going to happen with the person you cheated on.

  24. I know she's not, but wouldn't this just be something like asking her to play fight a bit more? I don't think that would require her to “change” in the way you're saying it, no?

  25. Thank you very much for your reply. And is it a normal thing for you? Throwing away such a nice relationship because of it? When she says it might be a mistake? The thing is, I don't want to wait. If she's ended it, I need to move on.

  26. He is intentionally trying to hurt you and make himself feel good and seem superior. Dump this trash.

    No one with half a brain would constantly try to correct a British person’s pronunciation. That’s just stupid.

    Good lord quit thinking he’s brilliant, it’s making you crazy. He’s not brilliant he’s an idiot that’s convinced you he’s smart.

  27. She said she will deduct all of that, well make your list of the money you spent on her and call a lawyer.

  28. This is a total dreamland hypothetical because women don’t usually behave like this, but – would you want your boyfriend hanging around a place with lots of alcohol and/or other substances, surrounded by attractive women (many more attractive than you, who are very charming and smooth) who are actively trying to buy your man drinks, dance with him, and take him home. Because that’s what a nightclub is, with reversed genders.

  29. Oh mama, these first three months are the hardest, and of those three months, the first three weeks are the hardest. Hang in there. It DOES get better.

    I can’t believe he’s complaining that you don’t want more children AND he’s complaining that he has to do anything for the ONE child you just had. Which is it, buddy? You can’t complain about both!

    Is he normally a big complainer?

  30. You unfortunately overestimate how much random strangers will care about a rumor of someone cheating. Yes, Reddit hates cheaters. Even most people probably don’t like them, but people aren’t invested enough in most people to really care, especially since anyone with a brain understands info from third hand is to be taken with a grain of salt.

    As I said, if it comes up, she has the proof to discredit it, she can deal with it on the off chance it matters, as more likely than not, no one is going to be spreading anything about her ‘infidelity’ to anyone.

  31. Yes probably and I also feel like sometimes he feel judged by me you know… Idk if that is very healthy…

  32. Lawyer ASAP.

    Explain the WHOLE situation, including the distribution of pornography for financial gain without your consent.

  33. You need to either make a move or move on.

    I wouldn't come on super strong and profess your unrequited love to him. Coming on that strong will turn most people off immediately. Just tell him you've had feelings for him for a while, and if the feelings are mutual ask him out on a date.

    If you get rejected, I'd just move on and limit contact with him.

  34. She has spent time with my family, it goes alright. She’s pretty reserved around my family. It seems she is pretty fine with losing me at this point, whenever there is anything that goes wrong it gets to the point of breaking up, where if I don’t fix myself she’s ending it.

  35. My best friend commited suicide at 2005, I still sometimes want to be alone and “feel” my emotions.

  36. Some people say, she is moving too soon with you. However, I think it's better she doesn't hide something that important a secret. Half a year seems reasonable to reveal it so that you can make informed decisions.

    Needless to say she would have to move out at some point anyway. As for this posing a threat to you in the future, if you ever caught as much as suspicions this is the case, you go report him to the police. Naturally, with her giving account.

    For obvious reasons, it is something that can be done only when she will no longer live with her father and rely on his financial support. However, it is also needed to be made clear with her this what you might ask of her in the future.

    If you want to stay with her, stay way from her father and focus on how soon can she can get out of this mess, and physically from his house.

  37. No those videos actually improved me a lot but yeah maybe some parts are bad but still tho i really think i am not good enough for her, im dont say that like depressingly or whatever i just truly mean i am not a good enough person or anything like that to be her partner so i dont know what steps to take to fall out of love

  38. I 100% support OP in taking in the child and anyone who would do so in his position. But I also 100% support the wife and would hold 0 grudge/judgement against her.

    I've had to think about a similar situation recently, my sister and her husband had a kid and I love my niece to death, but if something were to happen to both of them I have come to the conclusion that I could not take her in. It's a bit different because my sister has closer friends, who either want kids or are having a kid, who would take my niece in. I would definitely help financially as needed, but I know I would be a horrible mother. Might be accidentally abusive, not that I would purposely want to hurt the kid, but I don't have the patience and would definitely end up yelling and being angry/resentful way too much.

    Basically, yes it is great if a person who was previously child free (by choice) wants to take in a kid that is in need (either a niece/nephew or they own previously unknown kid) and can give them a loving home. But there is often a reason a person is child free and that reason may be that they know they can't mentally/emotionally handle raising a kid and knowing that about themselves and thus refusing to take the kid is also great.

    So OP just be prepared for the possibility that your wife will leave if you take the kid and hopefully you can part amicably.

  39. He sounds immature and insecure and not ready for the level of relationship you are willing to provide him. Red flag for me.

  40. Same with Asians. I grew up being taught my features were ugly, and that was racist. Now if someone thinks we’re attractive, that’s racist too. Like it’s just not possible to legitimately find an Asian attractive unless there’s something wrong.

  41. Tell your boss that his comments to you and other women are inappropriate in this day and age. That a good work relationship means respectful distance. And talk with you colleagues as well that they are on your side on this. When you talk with him, just state that you feel the need to tell him this as it is something that he has to learn in life for his job. That there are some situations where he would be reprimanded for this. You are older than he is, and was once his teacher, but that mantel back on for this conversation.

  42. She just jealous lol , I've seen this happen before, my sister was into a guy and he always rejected her maintained he just wanted a friendship and then when she was no longer available and met someone, he all of a sudden had feelings and wanted something.

    She doesn't want him but doesn't want anyone else to have him, she loved the ego boost of someone chasing her.

    Honestly I'd text her:

    I honestly surprised by your behaviour, and have decided that for the foreseeable future, I will have no contact unless it's to be civil at family get together, me and josh are together that's sometimes you have to get over.

    He is not a toy you can pick up and play with when you decide. You rejected him many times when he was interested, and now we are happy you all of a sudden want him?? You are honestly pathetic, and the fact you went to my boyfriend and told him expecting him to drop me for you, shows me who you are, I wish you a happy life but I will no longer be in it.

    Also have bf block her, she will problem harass him

  43. I was in an incredibly unhealthy relationship not too long ago. I stayed with them out of a sense of pity and that they were my first love. We finally had an argument that turned me into someone who could stomach her bad qualities and look past the bad feelings to someone who was fed up and ended the relationship permanently. I feel so much happier now and my life has been on an improving trajectory ever since. It's hard to make the decision initially but you have to make it. She's never going to improve

  44. Very possible and def something i will bring up with him when we talk! Full transparency, we live in LA, which is notoriously expensive and my job is in the arts so not a ton of money. As a result the 7 days a week thing is needed to make ends meet till I am more established out here, and he is also in the arts, but more established, so he has been super supportive of my schedule. But it is certainly something to look into- i have been clear with him that as soon as fall comes around, and i get to re-work my schedule, i plan on making sure i have at least one (or hopefully two) days off. However, full weeks like this will only come a couple times a year, next one will be christmas!

  45. I would suggest that you really dig into why he thinks all the cooking should be your job. And why he gets angry at you for minor clutter. And why he thinks you're the only person that has to try harder at cleaning. That's not right and not fair.

  46. You say the she had her period the week before she left and the week after she came home so you couldn’t have sex. Why not? What’s wrong with period sex? Is it your choice or hers?

  47. Red Forman “Bad things don't happen to you because you are unlucky. Bad things happen to you because you're a dumbass”

  48. Have you talked about your BF about what he like about you, what he loves about you? I think you may be assuming some things about how he feels about you that can be confirmed with some communication.

  49. Why did you get a hairstyle that you knew your bf doesn’t like? Weird flex. He might actually be thinking that he doesn’t find you attractive like that and is considering breaking up with you. Sounds like a Seinfeld episode. But he won’t be breaking up with you cause of the haircut, he will be breaking up with you because you don’t care about his opinion.

    The real question is, why do you want to have a haircut that the most important person in the world to you doesn’t like? Seriously, what is your thought process?

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