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Date: October 19, 2022
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You have to see it from her point of view. I am a woman. If a guy I am seeing has a child, I will see him as a single father.
Guys don't understand how women think. Being a parent is part of an identity. It doesn't matter where the child is.
So many guys comment “There is already another father on the birth certificate,” “Another guy is raising her. Op is off the hook. ” Do people really don't understand what does having a child mean?
This is the one. This is how you don't get dependency trapped. Have a lawyer involved in this agreement to ensure that it holds up in the event you need to separate or divorce, that he can't take anything from you, and you'll know how it might impact future potential alimony.
As a woman who chose the career- I wish I could go back in time and choose the other option!
Would maybe also go with her mum for giving OP a temporary vacation to recharge.
Thanks for asking. I'm still in shock, as we've been married for almost 7 years. They tested me and found nothing. No clue as to how the substances were administered
An hour after we arrived at the party, I see Sarah talking to this other guy in a very flirty manner. But I think to myself that I must be overthinking this and they're probably just friends. Later Sarah comes back and while we're laughing and talking together, a girl approaches us and asks Sarah, whether I was her boyfriend. She scoffed and said “No, we're just Friends”. I, at this point, said, “What? I thought I was your boyfriend”. Then she says, “No you're not. We're just Friends”. I said, “what about all the dates, the holidays, the valentines day”. She said “we were just hanging out”.
At this point I was a little pissed so I asked the girl who asked us the question if she would like to dance. Then I have a great time with this girl and I end up going home with her.
Oof. I’d have one foot out the door and leave at the next red flag. I don’t even think the quick peck was a big deal, but her reaction to conflict is ? I would not make life-changing decisions like children with her no matter what after her reaction. She would have to really work on emotional maturity without me asking so I know it’s not just a ploy to get me to marry or commit to her.
You have to shut this down ASAP and get your fiancee to back you up. Talk to her and let her know that you don't want him ruining your wedding with his jackassery. If he shows up in a clown costume, it will take the focus off of the two of you (where it's supposed to be) and put it on him (where he wants it).
It will also ruin the photos and videos. If his family is going to insist on him being let in, they will also insist on him being in the photos even if you tell the photographers not to photograph him (but he's family!)
You need to talk to your fiancee about setting and sticking to boundaries and that this is her day, not her brother's or her family's day. And then you and your fiancee also need to talk to her family about not letting him do it. Forget not letting him in. If he shows up like that he'll create a scene whether he's let in or not. They need to understand that he can show up in a proper attire, or not at all.
Then, you all need to sit down with BIL and tell him “this is not your day. You don't get to make a scene or try to get attention. You don't get to take the spotlight off your sister just because you think it's funny. Ruining something for someone else isn't funny, it's just mean. If you show up in a clown costume, or pull any other “pranks”, you will be made to leave immediately. Be an adult and dress properly.”
Grow up and move on.
If you move in with him, this is going to be a disagreement and a difference of opinion that will cause tension if you don’t talk about it. He might be fine with using the heat or AC if you are contributing to bills. As far as the hot water heater, it sounds like the settings need to be adjusted or it may just need to be replaced. But if you don’t talk about it and very plainly say, this is untenable for me and in order to live with you I need to have the house kept at x temp in the winter and use the AC in the summer when it hits y temp, then you will be very uncomfortable living with him.
She sure didn’t expect to get this sort of response. Do you photo op in the US
We've been dating for a year and this is my first serious relationship (not his first though). I find it very difficult to bring up things like porn and sexual topics since I'm very unused to having someone to discuss these things with.
I discovered by accident that he watches A LOT of Reddit porn. On his recently visited subreddits list, 20 of the 25 were NSFW. And 7 of those were related to gay porn (no females involved at all, it's guys on guys, or just focused on male genitalia).
I have no idea how to react. I know everyone watches porn, but just the sheer amount…it means everytime he goes to the bathroom or is in a different room, he probably is watching it. I actually have no clue how he manages it! I'm not thrilled with him watching porn, especially since it definitely has affected our sex lives (he will masturbate and then not want sex later, even BJs or handjobs). But him watching gay porn….should I be worried? (Note: I have nothing against the LGBTQIA+ community, just I thought he was straight!)
I guess I'm insecure about my own body and how he seems to be finding so much pleasure and release in other bodies (male and female). Definitely the amount of NSFW stuff he watches makes me feel unattractive. I'm always up for sex whenever he wants it, so I'm confused why he watches so much porn when we can just have fun ourselves.
It was a genuine accident that I found out and I have no idea if I should try to start a conversation about it. But I can't stop thinking about it and it's getting to be quite upsetting.
TLDR: Accidentally saw my BF watches a ton of porn/visits a lot of NSFW subreddits, including gay ones. If he's bi I don't care, I just feel insecure that he chooses to masturbate instead of having sex with me.
Any advice on how to try and move forward? Whether that's talking about it with him, or trying to recreate the circumstances how I found it but have him with me…I have no one to talk to about this, so please help me Reddit!
He calmly explained to me that, he meant it talking from a medical perspective, not as a comment towards our relationship. Also, having been divorced before, he understands that people’s relationship change through time even tho it’s working perfectly at one point in time. That he doesn’t intend to break up with me and he sees the future with me.
Completely understandable.
You are not overreacting. He does not respect you or your boundaries. Honestly, he sounds like a narcissist. So many red flags here. You have tried explaining how you feel but he doesn't seem to care. It's all about him. Do you really want to feel this way for the rest of your relationship with him? You are worth so much more.
I think if you both have a child that would be fair.
I think if you both have a child that would be fair.