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  1. >but the other 10% is extremely hard to live with, that 10% makes me feel bullied, I cry, I feel scared, I feel trapped and depressed.

    Healthy relationships don't feel like that at all. 0%.

  2. Healthy people would not directly type out that it is “weird” to NOT find inappropriate messages on their husband’s phone. You need therapy. Immediately.

    That's what I was thinking but the the other comments threw me off like I was reading it wrong. To me it just sounds like he's her sponsor.

  3. Only thing about a finding another job is since i have no skills i cant really obtain a better one then what i do now which is at target

  4. Petition the court for full custody. This isn't your fault. Fight to keep the house, and kids, so they can maintain a stable home environment.

  5. I think you should tell him tbh. You know it's your issue, and more importantly, are already taking steps to deal with it, which is fantastic. Means you're owning it, aren't putting it onto him (blame or responsibility). That said, having him aware, supporting you, and understanding the journey you're on can only be a good thing.

  6. Sorry, I don't mean meaningless dating. I mean undefined seriousness.

    Either way… you defined it now, water under the bridge.

    Now…

    2 months to establish reletionship status. That would be on the quicker side of the spectrum. For myself, we took 1.5 years. Obviously that's the extreme slow end of spectrum. But I found, the slower you take it, the better it is. You're just ensuring that the step is made when its appropriate for both people.

    Getting the timing right, its hard to do.

    You're excited. Infatuated with your new interest. You want to be there and have it right now. I don't blame you.

    So what are you going to do next? … You have two realistic options.

    The first one is… you can allow this to break your connection. I am here, ready to take the next step 2 months in, if you're not on the same page as me, then we will not work out. I don't think you view this the same way as me.

    Done deal.

    The second one is… you take a step back, you want to continue this connection, but slow down the pace. You tell her that you attempted to shift things when she wasn't ready for it. You want to keep this active because you see potential here.

    Reconstructing the dynamics.

    This getting to know each-other phase, is incredibly delicate. You want to put enough pressure so there's progress and direction. But not too much where it breaks the connection. Discovering that correct balance of weight is hard.

    And if you decide to continue this connection. You need to ensure the door is open to you and you have something attainable. She says: not ready for reletionship. That's a good cue to back off a lot.

    This situation you're in, does not have to be a make or break thing. You two can certainly get past it and change your approach.

    If you're after her for a reletionship, I would assume you want long term. In the grand scheme of things, when it happens is not important. What's important is finding a path that allows you two to reach the end goal.

  7. Saying that is morally right because they’re attracted to each other hahahah oh man, wait till the pedophiles hear that liner! I guess we have to get rid of all laws about age limits because I guess if they’re attarcted to wach other than it’s OK! Hahaha that is literally the argument for why child marriage laws with parent permission are still in play. What a fucking creepy thing to say hahah.

    The internet is flooded with women’s stories about how when they were this girl’s age, that they too were manipulated and controlled by old creeps who they thought loved them. They pray on young impressionable teenagers, and take advantage of them. No, those creeps didn’t love them, they wanted someone to control, because they don’t see women as people.

    I mean OP he has already confessed he only sees women as breeding machines, that a woman’s purpose is have children. That it’s different if she’s a mom at her age but that he would never of been a young father. Wow so shocked that he turned out to be a raging misogynist who wants to knock this poor girl up, make her “pause” school, and make her financially dependent on him. Wow I could not have seen it coming ?.

  8. Sir leave her. She groomed you. She groomed you. She took advantage of an 18 yr old boy when she had no business being with someone so young or trapping them with a baby. Your big sister-wife stole your youth from you. She's shown herself to be a liar and manipulator. She's shown you that she doesn't care for you by cheating on you with 30 men. Thats more than 2 a month. And this is after she groomed you. You deserve better. You deserved a chance to explore and date like any other young adult but you didn't get that because a woman 8 years older than you baby trapped you after grooming you.

  9. This thread is fucking bonkers. People actually upvoting a comment that the BF was “incredibly cruel.” How the fuck do these people make it through a day?

  10. emotionally I also think it matters

    And it's all that matters. He should never have been 3 hours away from a potential childbirth, and he should have darted the fuck out of there to be there ASAP.

    She is pushing a baby out of her. Even assuming everything is all easy-peasy (hahahaha I don't think it ever is), SHE IS PUSHING YOUR BABY OUT OF HER.

    You fucked up. You've made the wrong choice repeatedly, to the point that some people here question whether this is even real and not creative writing.

    Wake up. Best time to make good choices was 10 years ago, next best time is now.

  11. Okay based on the title I was going to tell you that it was normal but based on the actual content of the post I would recommend you take his phone ; delete the stuff yourself so he doesn’t have any images of you then break up with him for not respecting your wishes

  12. I simply wouldn’t agree to procreate with a man who thinks so little of me. He truly believes that not only would you cheat on him, but that you’d try to pass off any resulting child as his. I couldn’t even date someone who thought so little of me, let alone have kids with them. He has no respect for you.

    His trust and insecurity are his problem. Don’t let them become yours.

  13. I don't know how you convinced yourself he loves you? Liking the same stuff and generally getting along is not love. I have no faith he won't cheat as he's talking about and virtually stalking a woman while rubbing your face in it like a friend he's trying to make jealous. Every single aspect of a relationship he's failing in and you love that? He's nice to you at points sure but that's not love. Being nice to you is literally the bare minimum to date you. Your standards are in hell and he brought a shovel.

  14. Your girlfriend went and did a fucking rape kit and the doctor who examined her said she was assaulted and you are still questioning her? On a reddit post no less.

    You are gross.

  15. Please tell us you broke up after reading all these great comments here.

    Never let your desperation for a relationship talk you out of your common sense.

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