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Date: October 2, 2022
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I am sorry that you suffered so much abuse as a child. That was awful and should not have happened.
But now you are an adult. Your choices are not your own, and you get to decide how you behave, and how you let other people treat you.
Your partner should not have sworn at you or called you a bitch. That was wrong of them.
On the other hand, they were fairly strongly provoked. I’d say that you were the instigator of this particular incident, and that your behaviour was just as unforgivable.
Your partner is dealing with a lot of physical pain. That makes being nice hard right off the bat. Then you told her that you are not coming home, when she was likely relying on you. And you didn’t say this nicely – you threw a tantrum at her. That’s manipulative. Selfish. Abusive. All those things you’re accusing her of being.
Yes, she returned fire. No, she should not have done so. No, there is no excuse for her behaviour. But I think that you should examine your behaviour and hold yourself to the same standards you are holding her.
If being tired and anxious is an excuse for you to behave this way, why doesn’t it excuse her? If stress and pain is an excuse for you, why is it not an excuse for her? If you are allowed to lose your temper and throw a tantrum, and expect forgiveness, why isn’t she?
We haven’t met up at all, it’s only been a topic of recent discussion, but I’m just gonna break it off once I find the words to.
I actually disagree with that. I think individuals set boundaries and communicate them to their partner and then it’s for the partner to decide if they’re going to follow those boundaries. If a partner crosses another’s boundary then the person who’s boundary was crossed has to enforce it to a level of extreme that they feel is right (like have a talk or breakup if that serious). I don’t think you need to agree boundaries, just communicate them. If your partner cares about them then they will follow them.
You're right, this situation does involve a large amount of nuance, and there's no way that a post in a subreddit would be able to show that
What if she doesn’t have access to abortion like literally millions of other women in the US?
Heartbreak is a brutal form of pain.
This may be the first time you have your heart broken, but it probably won’t be the last. In my experience, the best way to think about heartbreak is as a gift. You’re grieving something that was good and beautiful and meaningful to you. You’re grieving the loss of a relationship, part of your identity, a future that will never happen, and the comfort that comes from intimacy. You have to feel all the feelings, don’t try to force them down.
But you’re going to recover, and you’ll look back at this relationship, and this feeling of heartbreak, with fondness. Focus on the things that make you you. Connect with friends, get into the gym, pick up that hobby you’ve been putting aside to spend time with her. Focus on yourself, feel all the bad feelings of the breakup, and things will start to fall into place for you. Just takes time and effort.
One of the biggest signs to indicate whether or not a man will kill his partner is if he strangles her. You ARE under constant threat.
I’ve been leaving my phone on do not disturb or leaving it at home when I don’t need it. A big part of this is definitely my anxiety which I’ve been working on but it’s definitely a process. Ive been trying to find ways to calm my general anxiety, but they don’t seem to be working with this. I’m struggling to distract myself or reason with myself. It’s not on him at all, but I think my anxiety here is a defence mechanism from past relationship trauma, which is making it a lot harder to shake off.
You shouldn't be getting married when you haven't agreed on children. How could you ever think it is a godo idea to marry someone when you have not yet come to an agreement on something so monumental and completely without compromise. If you don't want a kid, there is no having part of a child. You will either end up with a child you don't want and the child will suffer, or you will end up divorced.
Figure your shit out before getting married.
Yeah there's a huge amount of porn bots or whatever following people, esp if you're in a relationship why reach out to a rando account?
I'd take a photo of this text as proof & avoid her.
Also why are you going through her phone… obviously the least pressing matter here but this relationship sounds like it shouldn't be a thing
Wait till you have been together for a year or longer.
That way you can judge if he is a keeper. If you tell him now and he dumps you he might tell everyone.
Right now your in the early stages of dating.
Not exactly, my brother is very kind and laid back. My husband always told me since he was an only child he envied our relationship because he didn't have that growing up. so yes and no he was envious (or I thought it was that and not jealousy).
My brother is not feeling well a all after all this coming on top of his relationship ending. I feel sad that something is ruined between my brother and me. He prob feels sick like me but also guilt because I'm having issues in my marriage.