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Candela-Beckh Public Chat Channel
Date: February 6, 2023
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If that was true she wouldn't have to beg you to spend time with her.
I have nothing informative to say to you because you will turn it around and use it against her. This is an awful view you have of women and I will be happier hoping she gets as far away from you as possible, as soon as possible.
I guess you're right, I should start trying to talk to her as a friend first. What I forgot to mention was that this girl is a pretty prominent figure within the club. So she kinda talks with a lot of different people. I guess I'd then ask how I would get to befriend her when she's such a popular person in that club?
If I were in your shoes I wouldn't be able to ever trust him again and I'd initiate a divorce. As long as there are no consequences to his behavior it will keep doing it. You're busting your ass raising a 1 yr old child and hes off sexting a bond trading nudes? Nah, fuck him and not in the good way.
I would get a vasectomy. Too many people feel men HAVE to put up with whatever a pregnant woman deals them. Fuck that. I’d close that door and tell her we can adopt.
You're afraid she's going to blow up on you?
Anything you do won't be as bad as the actions she is already committing.
Hiring security with the express purpose of keeping a specific troublemaker at bay is not at all uncommon, unfortunately. It sounds like he might make himself especially easy to spot!
To put it in perspective, I have obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) and one of my worst fixations is my bedroom/bed, and keeping it clean and exactly how I need it to be. I say this so you know that my bedroom is too a safe space for myself and I feel very strongly about it!
I would still allow your dad to sleep in my bed in this situation lmfao. It’s just common human decency, and it’s truly not that hard to just throw on disposable sheets if she wants or get a $50 mattress topper. It might make my eye twitch a little, but there’s no reason to treat family so poorly TBH. It’s insanely shitty and you should definitely insist.
I mean, or you can just set up the air mattress for your dad and everything and then just tell him to sleep in the bed anyway. She would literally NEVER know. But that’s bad advice.
Have you ever been unconscious? In a situation where someone could have taken advantage of you without you knowing? It isn’t impossible.
But there’s absolutely nothing to worry about if your partner wants to accuse you of cheating for literally no reason?
Because in a committed and monogamous relationship, outside of a rape occurring, asking for a paternity test is an accusation of cheating.
I personally would not want to have children with a partner that does not trust me to not cheat on them.
This relationship is doomed whether or not you get married. So you should avoid the legal drama of getting divorced.
Secret drinking and lies are not a foundation for a successful relationship.
Anyone who really cares for you and not just appearances would agree.
Finally, never propose because other people want you to.
Cheating is a hard boundary and break-up/divorce worthy for many people, because it's many more red flags and trust breaches wrapped up in one. It's not “just” cheating. It's also lying, potentially putting your health at risk (get tested ASAP), not respecting you and your relationship, not communicating any problems, possibly making you a laughing stock in her/your joint friend circle and so much more.
See if you can get an annulment, otherwise I would start divorce proceedings. If she can't be faithful 2 months into your marriage, how is it going to be any better 2, 5, 10 years into the future?
I would also suggest therapy to help you navigate this situation and move on as smoothly as possible.