Hmmm he has trouble hearing, you continue to speak softly, even after multiple times being told to speak up, and can’t understand why he gets upset?
You don’t go into what his tone is like, or why it upsets you, so can’t help there, but if you don’t want him upset with you, speak a little bit louder.
As for why he left, again, from what you say he has told you multiple times to speak up, which you ignore. Why continue to talk with anyone when they ignore you?
He isnt supporting his brother anymore. That guy won a lottery and is supremely rich now. but he does not contribute to helping the family for some reason. But if his parents need money, he is obligated to help as their son. Which I think is right but then I will have to be stressed and work the hell out to keep us afloat and make sure the kids are getting what they want. This also involves me unable to spend enough time with the kids as I have to word hard.
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Listen, you can't spoil a baby of six months, because they are not cognizant enough to be manipulative and act out to get attention. At this stage, basic trust is built, which will determine the baby's mental health for its entire life. And the basic trust is built through the baby knowing it wasn't abandoned, and if it's crying, someone will come. The baby is really not screaming for attention or because it's spoiled, but out of distress – and letting him “scream it out” would just leave him terrified and alone and abandoned and destroy his basic trust, which is not something you can repair or rebuild, ever, you can only learn to deal with it through therapy.
I suggest you read more books about child psychology and development, before you criticize your girlfriend for how she does things. There is a reason she reacts like she does to her baby's crying – there have actually been tests: play any other baby's crying to a mother, and she reacts normal, play her own baby's crying to her, and it will rouse her out of a deep sleep, and put her in real distress – so she is biologically programmed to react to her baby and take care of it.
She's amazing but very controlling. She's gotten better over the years (has actively tried improving herself) by letting me stay out late and go to parties without me having to lie to her, but this is the one thing that is truly out of line for her.
Both of them say that if I get married, that's the only time when I can move out (which is how it is in our old schooled culture). During the argument, they did mention that I can move out once i get my bachelor's, but that's never been said before and I don't think it's also true.
Well, first off, work through your anger and frustration. I'm not saying you shouldn't feel those things — on the contrary, you have every right to your feelings. That being said, my experience is that including those feelings in any discussion inevitably results into the discussion becoming a shouting match. You can't control what he brings to the table, but you can control what you bring. So get to the point where you can talk about it in a sober, logical manner. Tell him you're angry, sure, but don't show him that you're angry. Feelings are merely symptoms of an underlying disease. Addressing the feelings alone accomplishes nothing. Best, in my mind, to simply solve the problem and let the feelings go away.
Then, I'd bring it up. But this time, don't initiate a discussion. Just make a statement. “I love you and I'm very happy for the life that we've built together. However, I would still like to get married. That would make me feel valued.” (Or whatever the reasons are. You actually didn't specify.) “I'm not sure what your feelings are on the subject, but I think it would be helpful if you spent some time figuring them out and then came to me and told me what they were.”
Don’t be suspicious, don’t be suspicious…..that’s super weird. Worst case, she’s cheating on you with him. Best case, she was think about him while you were inside her. Either way…..it’s a no for me.
Get her out of the house. If things go South, she might be able to lawyer up and require some shit from you…common law marriage, or God knows what legal action can be taken.
There's a child, so your relationship with baby-momma isn't as cut and dry as “hooking up” with a woman.
Give her a 30 day notice. The writing is on the wall and consequences will become very steep the longer you engage with her.
I'm fact, you may want to seek legal counsel just to “temperature check” your situation.
Hope you both got testes
?
Hmmm he has trouble hearing, you continue to speak softly, even after multiple times being told to speak up, and can’t understand why he gets upset?
You don’t go into what his tone is like, or why it upsets you, so can’t help there, but if you don’t want him upset with you, speak a little bit louder.
As for why he left, again, from what you say he has told you multiple times to speak up, which you ignore. Why continue to talk with anyone when they ignore you?
Not just lust
He isnt supporting his brother anymore. That guy won a lottery and is supremely rich now. but he does not contribute to helping the family for some reason. But if his parents need money, he is obligated to help as their son. Which I think is right but then I will have to be stressed and work the hell out to keep us afloat and make sure the kids are getting what they want. This also involves me unable to spend enough time with the kids as I have to word hard.
Leave, like yesterday.
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Listen, you can't spoil a baby of six months, because they are not cognizant enough to be manipulative and act out to get attention. At this stage, basic trust is built, which will determine the baby's mental health for its entire life. And the basic trust is built through the baby knowing it wasn't abandoned, and if it's crying, someone will come. The baby is really not screaming for attention or because it's spoiled, but out of distress – and letting him “scream it out” would just leave him terrified and alone and abandoned and destroy his basic trust, which is not something you can repair or rebuild, ever, you can only learn to deal with it through therapy.
I suggest you read more books about child psychology and development, before you criticize your girlfriend for how she does things. There is a reason she reacts like she does to her baby's crying – there have actually been tests: play any other baby's crying to a mother, and she reacts normal, play her own baby's crying to her, and it will rouse her out of a deep sleep, and put her in real distress – so she is biologically programmed to react to her baby and take care of it.
3-4 would be ideal as I’m a introvert who likes his space too
She's amazing but very controlling. She's gotten better over the years (has actively tried improving herself) by letting me stay out late and go to parties without me having to lie to her, but this is the one thing that is truly out of line for her.
Both of them say that if I get married, that's the only time when I can move out (which is how it is in our old schooled culture). During the argument, they did mention that I can move out once i get my bachelor's, but that's never been said before and I don't think it's also true.
Mate! Just change the password again and if he brings it up to you then block him! You're not together anymore. Time for him to get his own account
Excuse me what
Well, first off, work through your anger and frustration. I'm not saying you shouldn't feel those things — on the contrary, you have every right to your feelings. That being said, my experience is that including those feelings in any discussion inevitably results into the discussion becoming a shouting match. You can't control what he brings to the table, but you can control what you bring. So get to the point where you can talk about it in a sober, logical manner. Tell him you're angry, sure, but don't show him that you're angry. Feelings are merely symptoms of an underlying disease. Addressing the feelings alone accomplishes nothing. Best, in my mind, to simply solve the problem and let the feelings go away.
Then, I'd bring it up. But this time, don't initiate a discussion. Just make a statement. “I love you and I'm very happy for the life that we've built together. However, I would still like to get married. That would make me feel valued.” (Or whatever the reasons are. You actually didn't specify.) “I'm not sure what your feelings are on the subject, but I think it would be helpful if you spent some time figuring them out and then came to me and told me what they were.”
Don’t be suspicious, don’t be suspicious…..that’s super weird. Worst case, she’s cheating on you with him. Best case, she was think about him while you were inside her. Either way…..it’s a no for me.
Get her out of the house. If things go South, she might be able to lawyer up and require some shit from you…common law marriage, or God knows what legal action can be taken.
There's a child, so your relationship with baby-momma isn't as cut and dry as “hooking up” with a woman.
Give her a 30 day notice. The writing is on the wall and consequences will become very steep the longer you engage with her.
I'm fact, you may want to seek legal counsel just to “temperature check” your situation.
Best of luck!
Don't force yourself to do something that you don't want to do. He should know better than to put this kind of pressure on you.