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ameliaaa111 Public Chat Channel
Date: October 23, 2022
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Thank you! I am in no way angry, so no worries there. It’s my own anxiety and the old ‘don’t double text someone’ mentality that I sometimes fall back to and just need some people telling me it’s cool.
Honestly yes, I would turn down women and I have before. But that’s only because I’ve been insecure about everything that has to do with me physically, so it would be ridiculous of me to push my own insecure narratives onto her. I’m sure if I was confident I would have not turned down those women who were after me. So in a sense, yes, I’m the same and you’re right.
I think the issue is the lack of communication. She walked away and grabbed random dude because OP “didn’t seem really into it.” If she tells OP she really wants to dance and he says he doesn’t, then I think it is fair game for her to find a dance partner. But, that doesn’t appear to be what happened here.
Btw, at 4 months my relationship was about as awful as you describe yours, but unfortunately I stuck it out for another 4 months (due to dependency and for financial reasons) and in the end, he had called me every slur in the book and become physically threatening on numerous occasions. I don’t want to think about what would have happened if I had stayed 4 more months ???
Will try this, thanks 😉
does letting it marinate not leave shit stains in the bowl? This is disgusting on so many levels. I have a poor sense of smell and I still wouldn’t leave it to marinate
Sometimes you're just not compatible for the long term. It happens.
Uninvited. It is that easy. I made sure all the assholes that could potentially be at my wedding weren’t invited, and my wedding was AMAZING. You have no obligation to invite them. Practical jokers are abusive.
“Why are you talking to me like that?”
“I don’t like the way you’re talking to me.”
“That’s a fascinating theory, but right now I’d like to stay focused on the issue of the grocery list. Is there a reason you didn’t get the things I asked for?”
“It sounds like doing lots of research works well for you, and that’s great. But I showed you my nails in order to connect with you, and I feel like you hijacked the conversation into a lecture about my shortcomings. That makes me feel reluctant to share things from my life with you. Perhaps in the future, you can ask if I’m just sharing or looking for advice, so we can avoid this problem.”
I was engaged in college to a very feminine woman with a passive, non-argumentative personality. Best thing that ever happened to me was her cheating on me. Met my now wife of 20 years and she has her feminine side but I’ll be damned if she doesn’t tell me when she thinks I’m wrong or being an asshole. I can’t understand guys that seek out meek, passive women. Give me assertive any day.
Can y'all leave me alone already I get it
I read some of your other comments where you answer some of my questions. I think you're right in what you're seeing. You deserve better.
I'm sorry you are having these problems. Was married for 33 years to a serviceman who was also an only child to an older mother. Obviously, he knew how to clean, cook and do laundry efficiently and regularly. While I also know how to do these things, I take after my father – I just don't see dirt and dust until its almost crisis mode. Can't stand dirty sheets on the bed and have been known to blow a gasket at a dirty kitchen sink or counter, but otherwise – it just doesn't register on a daily basis.
Well, when he got a terminal diagnosis a year ago, I talked with some folks and found a wonderful woman to come in every two weeks to do all the scrubbing, moping, vacuuming, dusting and kitchen cleaning. Now that he is gone, she still comes in every two weeks because I know myself and know I will leave it until someone comes to visit and then be embarrassed at the state the house is in. So all I am doing regularly is wiping down the kitchen after I prep a meal and the laundry. I consider this a win.
I'm in a relatively HCOL area and pay my cleaner $100 per visit. No, she does not work through a service. She has a helper most days and they are here and gone in about an hour.
It sounds to me like your marriage would benefit from taking these household chores off the chessboard. If she's feeling guilty about not doing them herself, let her pay the cleaner. What matters is that she feels she is contributing to the upkeep, not that she actually do the chores.
If you can get farther ahead financially by renting your own place, then you are definitely being taken advantage of. You feel this in your gut and now you have to prove it.
As everyone else here has said, put the numbers down on paper and go from there because you shouldn’t be funding everyone, especially if she is mortgage free.
Stop sacrificing your future without knowing exactly where things stand and CRUNCH THE NUMBERS! Good luck.