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Nika, 22 y.o.
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Date: October 5, 2022
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She helped you out when you were unwell, so you can just offer the same. Relax and stop overthinking it.
Either your love languages are not the same and that's making you not understand each other and feeling unloved. So look into that. Or he really just doesn't love you. Impossible for me to tell.
IKR? This is exactly the definition of a cheating type lmaoo
Leave him do not be an option of the other woman, he is showing you that this is what he intends. If he can treat a spouse like that why would you ever consider wanting to be in his life.
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You switch between she and he, but I don’t see why it’s a red flag?
I'd cut your loses now, no matter how “cute” and “sweet” she is. Cuteness fades with time; you want someone who is going to be interesting to be with and share at least enough of your interests and passions (beyond the physical) if you're going to build a life with them.
My husband and I met through a shared love of art, for instance. When we travel (which we also love to do) nothing makes either of us happier than spending entire days in art museums, archeological sites, visiting churches for the art and architecture…and he even has mentioned on occasion how when he would travel with his ex/first wife, she would rush him through such places, clearly bored and only wanting to go shopping. You need to be able to have things in common once the honeymoon phase is over and it doesn't sound like that will be the case with you and your girlfriend.
He would never, ever want to do anything to hurt you but he's okay watching and engaging with other people who enjoy hurting women.
A good therapist can help him get to the root of this. It's not entirely on him, it's been so normalized but changing himself is his job, not yours.
All you can do is set boundaries with how you deserve to be treated. Anal is not spontaneous. It is not spur of the moment. It takes preparation. You could do everything right and still not enjoy it. It's okay for you to say “I never want to try anal again.” You are allowed to feel that way. He can decide that is a deal breaker for him or he can decide that it is your body, your pleasure and your choice. Sex should benefit both of you. It should play to both of your fantasies. Not all kinks involve pain.
Honey, it's easy to forgive him when he's kind to you, like he was while you were crying but what is his plan going forward? Is he taking a porn pause? Going to talk to someone? His words mean nothing without following through.
You deserve a soft life full of love and a partner who contributes meaningfully to that. Keep talking to him. Maybe even show him this post.
Custody agreement when OP is already 18?
Fair, but 41-year-olds don't bring their mothers to health appointments either
This is some mean stuff she is doing to you. Nothing hurts more than being compared to an ex, and anyone who has been in precious relationships can attest to this fact. Wanna know how to ruin a relationship? Tell me how much better your ex is to me.
If she gets pregnant, she is at high risk to be killed by him, especially if she tried to leave.
Wow.
If you don't dislike it and actively love seeing how turned on it makes him.. Why are they bothered?
Him asking is him being open. If he pressured you or sulked, that would be an issue.
If you are safe, happy and love the rest of the relationship? They're not good friends.
Let's imagine it wasn't sexual. Your partner is a massive trainspotting geek and is so in love with you every weekend you sit cold and unbothered by watching a train he likes.. That's just you offering your time to your partner.
They don't understand red flags and boundaries.
We’ve already slept together plenty of times. And funnily enough I have gotten her pregnant. It was after our first time. And my first time ever. We didn’t keep it, but what an experience I’ve had for my first relationship huh? It just became another thing for her to use to keep me intertwined “you got me pregnant before so we can never not be together” and I believed her. I’m planning on doing it tomorrow when I wake up. I just need to get it over with.
Have you thought of getting a vasectomy? They are reversible and it would show her that you have stepped up in the relationship
Alright, thank you
Thank you. That very likely could be true. I would lose myself if I lost my dad too. It's a pretty big fear of mine.
What consequences? You're on kid #3 with her, you're still married, and she gets to blame her behavior on her pregnancy, and if she does get her precious gender reveal – with our without you (something every healthy partner says, btw) – without your daughter there, what would she have to lose?
You're around, you can “fight” for your kid but you're still with the woman who's dead set on pushing her aside, you keep on having kids with this woman, literally what are you actually doing except let this woman have more ammunition against your daughter?
Oh, I'm sorry, you think your wife won't use her kids against your daughter? That's even more delusional.
She is very young. Look it seems weird to me, and you are entitled to whatever boundaries you want.
You're basically living with a criminal.
I mean, she literally is, because he's already been caught for tax evasion (apparently in the millions, if he's lost all his money). This is someone who cares about what he wants and nothing or nobody else.