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1. She does not need to accept you. You are her fathers choice for him. You are not a role model for his girls. You are there for him.

   You are not their parent and cannot be just because he said so.

   A few months and he is having you to his parents spending time with her kids. He moves fast how many more before you. How many other young woman have walked in and out of the door those poor kids have seen.

   I really feel for his kids, does he not have a good or close friend that can give him some advice before he loses his daughters for good?

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2. Yeah, gonna be honest, your kind of a shit parent. No offense. Oh don't worry he can catch up quick when it comes to technology if he is motivated, but will he catch up emotionally and internationally. That is going to be a lot harder. His marriage and his relationship with his kids will suffer.

   But no wonder he act like he does. He just follows your example. No negotiation, no empathy, no discussion, no grace or humility. Nope just do it my way or the hell with you, both of you act that way. But then he was the kid and you were the adult. But as an adult he is going to have just as much success in life acting that way as you did with him. Poor kid.

   Parenting isn't just disciple, it's leadership. Good leaders don't just correct they know how to inspire. Don't get me wrong I am all for discipline but grace and mercy, kindness teaches just as much as rules. Communication, negotiation and reason help kids learn to use the same thing in their own relationships. That's where you messed up it seems. None of that comes out of a book and how much time you spend playing games doesn't really matter much if you don't learn those lessons.

   You have very little time left, eventually instead of a crap relationship with your kid you will have a much less active crap relationship with an adult and no say at all. You only get a say as a parent of an adult child if you have built up respect and trust. If there is genuine good faith.

   I get it it's fucking hard to get to know your kid and build a relationship, it's a lot easier to just go by doctors, pediatricians, psychiatrists, police departments, governmental bodies, and other professionals recommended

   I suggest you set down on your kids bed, allow yourself to be vulnerable and try to develop some empathy for how he feels and see if you can finally negotiate what your relationship is going to be like going forward. By the way that doesn't mean letting him do whatever he wants, it means communicating that you care and you have a person stake.

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3. This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below.

   We’re saving up for a wedding. I earn more than him so I’m putting more aside. In order to save enough money, I have also started doing 2 different freelance jobs outside of work. The hours vary for the freelance but outside of my work 37.5 hours, I would say freelance takes up anywhere between 6-12 hours. So I’m effectively working 45-50 hours a week.

   In addition to this I’ve gained weight which I’m finding hard to lose, I have other health issues too which require me to do things at home such as exercise etc.

   I’m also unofficially in charge of cooking and cleaning for the both of us.

   And not only that but there are times when he needs my help on his work.

   Add all of these factors in and I feel like i’m drowning.

   I got angry and I exploded and he reacted negatively telling me that he washed the dishes…and he did but that was one day.

   After work somehow I end up doing all these things and suddenly its 9pm and I wonder where the time went as I never got a time to enjoy myself or watch a show.

   Meanwhile, without fail, every day, he will start playing his games on pc after he finishes work.

   How do I effectively tell him that I’m struggling and I want him to start helping out more when he already thinks he helps out?

   I baked cupcakes today because i love baking and hadn’t baked in ages…and after I told him I can’t cope with all the work, he told me to stop baking cupcakes…

   I feel like he gets defensive everytime time I bring up doing any house work and creates an argument in order to get out of any work.

   Any advice pls?

   Leaving is not an option.

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4. Guess what…not everyone is you, and most aren't It's simple, but let me spell it out how simple it is. First conversations, hey are you seeing anyone else right now? Yes, I am see someone else. Ok, thank you but I think I'll pass on moving forward..

   Most people that are looking for a long term relationship aren't going to date someone that is seeing multiple people at the same time. Except maybe on Reddit where a long term relationship is about 2 years.

   I love this place. It's a people watchers dream. You can come to get relationship advice from a bunch of people that can't hold down a relationship to save their lives. If she wants to date around, that is her perogative and more power to her. But he has a right to know that she is so he can make an informed decision on if he wants to date her. Which she lied to him about . And it's not insecure to not want to be in a relationship where there could be drama and sti concerns or be in a competition to win her over from the other guys. If you want to date me, cool, we are going to date exclusively . If she wants to play the field, she can do it with someone else.

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5. Independent, your GF's abusive behaviors cannot be excused — but perhaps can be explained, especially if you would speak to a psychologist in your city. They may be due to her having very weak control over her own emotions (i.e., a lack of emotional skills she had no chance to learn in childhood). My exW has that problem. If it is an issue for your GF, you likely would be seeing 4 other red flags.

   The first is a strong abandonment fear. I therefore ask whether, a few months into your relationship, she started showing strong jealousy over harmless events involving other women — or tried to isolate you away from your close friends and family members? She would view your spending time with friends/family as your choosing them over her. Moreover, she usually would hate being alone by herself.

   Second, you would be seeing her rely heavily on black-white thinking, wherein she tends to categorize some people as “all good” (“with me”) or “all bad” (“against me”) and will recategorize them — in just a few seconds — from one polar extreme to the other based on a minor infraction.

   Because she also uses B-W thinking in judging HERSELF, she would rarely acknowledge making a mistake or having a flaw. Doing so would imply, in her mind, she is “all bad.” She thus would blame nearly all misfortunes/mistakes on you and view herself as “The Victim.”

   Further, to “validate” her victim status, she would keep a detailed mental list of every infraction/mistake you ever did (real or imagined) and would not hesitate to pull out the entire list to defend herself in the most insignificant disagreement with you. Moreover, this B-W thinking also would be evident in her frequent use of all-or-nothing expressions like “you ALWAYS…” and “you NEVER….”

   Third, you generally would not see her directing her anger at casual friends, coworkers, or total strangers. She usually gets along fine with them. Rather, her outbursts and temper tantrums almost exclusively would be directed against a close loved one (e.g., against you, a sibling, or her parents).

   Fourth, you are convinced that she truly loves you. But you frequently see her flipping, on a dime, between Jekyll (loving you) and Hyde (devaluing or hating you) — often making you feel like you're walking on eggshells around her. Such flips would occur in a few seconds in response to some minor thing you say or do. A few hours or days later, she can flip back just as quickly.

   Independent, have you been seeing strong occurrences of all 4 of these red flags?

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6. No, you’re sick so you get the bed.

   THEY can sleep on the sofa

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