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Date: October 3, 2022
Bullying your ex girlfriend into having an abortion is beyond a dick move. Parenthood is like sexual consent. You might choose to talk about how you feel about it, bring up problems and work through them, etc. but yes means yes and no means no. When you had sex with her, protected or unprotected, you knowingly ran the risk of pregnancy. That is the biological function of sex. And when she said no I want this baby, that’s when you shut your mouth and create a child support account and a coparenting plan. You’re changing your mind here as much as she is
So basically he's a manipulative control freak who enjoys embarrassing you in front of strangers.
Agreed on being in a rut. But at the same time, we do go on occasional dinner dates (at least monthly), we go to concerts/shows when there's something good to see, and we've tried picking up skiing (new for her). So we're doing some of that already.
I think the biggest thing is your point about getting out of the house. We are around each other so much, we really need to both find ways to have lives outside of just each other.
OK, I gave my kid their dad's surname legally due to him already having a kid with his surname, it has bit us on the arse.
Opening bank account isn't as easy, passports were a nightmare, I have to have proof whenever I travel with them abroad etc. Let's face it, the majority of the time woman get left to raise the kids so yeah, unless you guys are married, give them her surname. What you contribute or “do” for them is irrelevant. Give the kids your surname as a middle name of its important to you because frankly she has multiple reasons for her choice and yours is “because I want to”.
don’t EVER see him again, he’s a rapist
You need to consult a lawyer. You’re not the one destroying the marriage SHE IS by having an affair.
Good lord .. this whole thing is bc you felt like the two adults who just went through a complicated and likely traumatizing birth and are learning to care for and bond with their newborn, didn’t give you, a grown woman, enough attention. You say you “wouldn’t have done it if they hadn’t cut me off” but when you went to that lawyer appt, they hadnt cut you off! You never even communicated with them! Your son picks you up to visit one day … then next thing they know, they are hearing about you going for grandparents rights. Simply bc they weren’t giving you the attention you thought you deserved and you expected them to be mind readers. They are exhausted … DIL is not even close to being healed. The last thing on their minds when their family has just expanded and all their time is taken up by this tiny thing that needs all their love attention… is their MIL. 3 weeks. 21 days is all it took for you to blow up your relationship with all of them. Enjoy your other daughter that only talks to you every few months bc apparently you can’t maintain normal boundaries and thrive on drama. You aren’t the main character or focal point of your children’s lives anymore. At this point you have guaranteed you aren’t anything in their lives anymore. Their children will survive having no grandparents. You’re not “essential” How do you think kids born to parents with no parents of their own exist?