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control my lush (3mn) [100 tokens remaining]
Date: October 24, 2022
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you are absolutely in control of your actions and what you say, even if you dont feel it. my advice is to say what you want, but find a nicer way to say it. for example if hes chopping carrots in a “wrong” or different way and it bothers you, describe to him the way you would do it or perceive to be the “right” way without correcting him. if hes chopping them vertically, say “oh thats neat, i like to chop them horizontally”. you could still get out the compulsion to describe the right way to do something without passing judgement on the way he wants to do it. or find something to distract you, literally anything. carry a journal and write down what you want to say whenever you feel the urge or whatever
you are literally in control of your actions and you can stop yourself. im sorry if this seems harsh but its true. your family doing this to you explains why you have the desire to do it, but you are doing it because you choose to make the words come out if your mouth
If she was drunk. She probably messed up but ain't gonna come clean on that. No shame in doing bad actions while intoxicated. Now hiding the details where you might have messed up just to post and get some attention. That's mad.
Lol, prove it.
Put on a complete show. Bring yourself to an explosive orgasm and then lick your fingers. Then look at him and ask if he can discern the difference between pleasure and ordinary life. If he bitches about anything, make him sleep uncovered on the sofa.
I can appreciate what you said though and get not wanting to give advice
Some people have a strong smell whatever they do. It is something red-haired often hears. I have heard African people saying Europeans smell like corpses.
Your bf may be really conscious of the problem, and terribly hurt because there is nothing she can do. So be sweet when going on the subject.
“Laugh it off”? She cheated on her partner… Man or not that is considerably horrible, and the fact she's worried about her work and not her actual relationship… yikes.
Brilliant! ?
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I saw your update that you already broke up but I did want to add that sometimes people make the case that their best friend of the opposite sex is someone they communicate with a lot
In this case it doesn't even look like they are best friends at least not according to what you left out of your post if they are
So it means she doesn't even have that as a reason for communicating with him so much
Under other circumstances I would have said talk to her first make sure she understands this is a problem for you but it's not wrong either if you have already decided to break up that's just as good of a solution to this problem as it is to try to figure things out and wait another four or six weeks or a little longer to see if any changes
So be strong in your decision you did the right thing for you
Did you want kids? If not, I suppose if you can find it in yourself to be able to trust her fully you can try to work through it together. Trust is very difficult to regain once it’s broken, even if you really believe you can do it. You’ll always be wondering if something she’s saying is true or not or what else has she lied about.
By all means, you should do what your heart tells you to. If it ends up a disaster, it’s a learning experience and that’s what we all need in life anyway. You are very young. You have a lot of years of experience you’ve yet to have had. This is going to be an experience you’ll learn from no matter how it turns out.
This might even cause a rift between you on your end. She may not be able to handle the constant lack of distrust, especially when she’s come clean and decides not to ever lie to you again in the best case scenario. Or maybe she’ll be honest from now on and you’ll be able to trust her without fear and you’ll live happily ever after together.
If you want to stay with her, then stay with her. But if you feel like trust is going to be an ongoing issue, which most of the time it is, then reconsider which pain is worse: being without her or both of you ending up resentful of each other.
What is your reasoning? Just what people have suggested already?
You’re too much.
You enjoyed a moment with a person that didn’t result in any wrong doing. Do not tell your husband about it, he might not take it well and become suspicious of everything you do from here on out. He may want a divorce who really knows, but you do realize that you have too much to lose, don’t you?
But if one wants to have kids 33 would be late/pushing it, no?
Then you’re not in a relationship. You’re with a guy trying to convince you to be his perfect girl for him.
He’s projecting his insecurities and trying to make you fit his ideal relationship. He also could be acting that way due to his own guilt from something. My ex used to go out all of the time, but would get mad if I did, because she knew how things were when she was going out herself.
Bottom line though, took awhile for me to figure out, loving someone sometimes means knowing when to let go. And if you both want different things in life at the moment, trying to force a relationship will only lead to resentment.
For example, let’s say you give up bars to make your relationship last, you will hate that. You’ll miss your friends, you’ll miss going out even just occasionally, and you’ll view him as the direct cause of you missing out on things you enjoy.
One day you’ll be 30 and too tired to do all of that shit and be stoked to stay in. But for now go live it up. And don’t settle for anyone that doesn’t love you for who you are, which will definitely change many times in the next 10 years.
Tell dude to go to church and find himself a homebody that fits his narrative.
Do it now so she can start her new life fresh.
He assaulted your sister.
I know what car she drives and I was thinking of leaving an annoymous letter or note to her but I don't want anyone to know that it was le who wrote it as her bf probs knows my handwriting as the teacher made us write the critique notes for each other and I was partnered up with him and can easily compare the handwriting.
I would make it simpler than others are suggesting. “Can we go to a quieter place next time so we can have group conversations ? I think that will help me get to know your friends better.” Done. No need to make a big deal out of it, right ?
How about hosting them at your place ?
Or inviting smaller groups for more intimate conversations ?
There are plenty of solutions here, if you’re willing to make the effort.
There are other kinds of sex other than PIV. And the fact that he cums doesn't mean that sex needs to end. He can cuddle and make out with you naked. He can (and should) eat your pussy for a while. Lick your nipples. You can teach him to finger you in a way that you like. Etc. None of those things require him to be hard. Also, if he cums sooner than you both want him to, he'll get hard again and can fuck you again. And again. And again. He should last a little longer every time. Give these things a try before you break up. but to answer your question, yes, bad sex is definitely a legitimate reason to break up with someone.
I think he was just trying to tell you that he really wants a bj. Seems like he wouldn’t want one from someone else, but from you. If you can’t or won’t give, seems you’re just sexually incompatible. I would re think the relationship.
You have a good start here but you need a much more spectacular ending to your little creative writing assignment. One good ending would be setting this in a remote cabin where the wife lures evil hubby with promises of redemption but in reality the woman and all her angry relatives are waiting. She then goes to dig a grave as a final act of atonement/female empowerment while he screams in the background.
She isn’t the one that needs therapy madam.
You were a bad parent and now your kid doesn’t wish to see you anymore. You inly want money from her. You don’t live her at all. Shes a bank to you.
Agreed. No need to jump to conclusions just because it’s a mixed age relationship. But yes, the two things together do seem red flag-esque.
Seriously? How do you not know what to do? Protect that animal at all costs. Get rid of your abusive bf. Holy shit this is like the start of a date line or something.
You fix it by leaving. He doesn't see you as a person, not fully. Not if he can disregard anatomy and tell you to make yourself tighter.
Do you understand how awful this sounds? Please have a little more self respect than this.
How does he even know that this is something that she would be interested in??
I woulda been all about it at 19. But it’s up to you. Just be careful because with that age gap comes a gap in life experience as well. An old partner isn’t necessarily more likely to manipulate you, but it is not at all unheard of to happen.
You seem to just want to argue about anything so I’m done with you. Go on back to your superficial life and enjoy it while you can
It was 20 minutes later, not nearly enough time to say he is going to block her. He was probably in the middle of something or with his fiance at the time.
Here's the deal. You can't get the vaccine past a certain age because you've likely already had it (they consider anyone who's had more than 2 partners in their lifetime to have been exposed, per my gyno). So, the only other way to build immunity to it then is to get it. And since 80% of the reproductive population have it, that's pretty much a foregone conclusion unless you've been married to the only person you've ever had sex with and both of you have been angels.
Thanks for this.
I was in the same shoes as OP and I stayed. It did not end well.
Now I am in therapy and see all the red flags in *my behavior* which was not walking when I should have.
I'll share one thing. Getting up in the middle of the night and neurotically checking her phone. Going through messages, discord, email, chrome search history. Map history, social media, the list goes on, and on, and on, and on. In the end there is pain both ways. Find something? Ouch. Don't find anything? Shame. Lots of shame.
It hurts so much to be cheated on. But now you can leave on your terms and not hers. You are empowered right now. Good luck.
Let her know NOW that you're not interested in her. Reiterate you're married. Probably in a public setting. That you're straight, you can't/won't be with her. And that you're uncomfortable with her advances. This might very well blow up your friends group.
Anyone who says their relationship is amazing but….You can almost guarantee is full of red flags ?
First: what was the argument about? Was it about you forgetting to put sugar in her coffee or about CP she found on your hard drive?
My sense is this is about the issues between her and her family, and you think it's about you. She may be ashamed of them, unwilling to make you out up with their sh!t or whatever. Don't take it personally
Lmao yep
How big and douchey of a gym bro was he?
A DA doesn't have to accept a report. If you file a police report, the police have to investigate it either way. So if the police show up at your door, you're probably just gonna willingly give the cat back. So the DA don't even have to get involved.
I try to keep my circle only with my true friends but It'll definitely be a drama if I just stop talkin to this guy since were in a friend group.