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Zayne Bright, y.o.
Location: Missouri, United States
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Online Live Sex Chat rooms Zayne Bright
Date: November 4, 2022
As other people have said this is really all about different perspectives/expectations in modern dating. When I've dated multiple people its usually been separated by a day because I generally would consider afterwards whether they were worth the call back or not. Also I wouldn't have the energy to go on another date/hook up (but this is just me).
From my perspective what you did…makes me wonder why you started dating this guy? Makes me think you didn't even consider him at all when you went to have sex with someone else right after. Your boyfriend still really likes you but is probably disgusted by your actions because they don't reflect his values. He doesn't trust that you actually VALUE him, and all you seem to care about whether you are in the wrong or not…
If it makes you uncomfortable, it is too much for you. You said your friends mentioned it. They seem to think it's a bit much as well.
I don't think it makes you insecure to want to set some reasonable boundaries.
I think honesty would be the best option
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It could be literally anyone, why ruin two marriages without the medical results?
he took it well seems like i was worrying over nothing. going to be more careful in future lol
There's been a ton of posts here that are SO into getting verbal consent (and now it's even come to written consent) to engaging sexually with your partner that it's really turning into being spontaneous romantic/sexual into basically being a rapist.
KNOW YOUR PARTNER. If it is something you think they may or may not be into, don't do it….but if you know them well enough to 'risk' a SA charge by doing something like kissing them, grabbing their ass in private, or initiating sex with them while they're sleeping….then what the fuck ever.
I brought up this topic with my partner a week or two ago and how we never declared boundaries or verbal consent….and how I would just slowly wake her up sometimes sleeping by groping her or feeling her up…or whatever and she would slowly wake up and get into it.
We never had a discussion about this, she's never not enjoyed it or said anything negative about it. I just know her. I know her boundaries and what she likes/doesn't like and it's never been a problem.
I've never been woken up with her giving me a BJ and we never discussed it but I absolutely would not care or accuse her of SA for being horny before I woke up….BECAUSE SHE KNOWS ME.
If anything, I might do the same thing she's done before and asked to stop for a second because she's realize she has to pee first. Otherwise….it's turning into an impromptu sex session….and that's what works for us and there's never been an issue with.
This might sound like it's giving a green light to try stuff undiscussed with new partners but I would also not recommend that until you've been together long enough to know they're not going to feel like it's rpe when you're doing *anything without verbal consent.
Sometimes stopping and asking, ” is this ok, or is that ok” really takes the romanticism/fun out of it. KNOW YOUR PARTNER, and if you're unsure, THEN ask.
You are jealous of something you trained her to do. She compromised and found a solution that works for the both of you and has found her “security blanket”. I’m not huge on cuddling with my spouse because he sweats a lot, also twitches frequently and has accidentally shoulder checked me a few times in the past while cuddling, so now I have a plushie that I cuddle with when we sleep. While I know it’s not his fault, I’m definitely not a fan of waking up by getting clocked in the face by accident. We’ve been together for 15 years, he knows the deal, so if he wants cuddles he just asks and we will for a bit and I’ll roll over with my plushie or he’ll cuddle the both of us until he’s ready to roll over.
help her tidy up! teach her your systems of making tidying up easy!
being a tidy person is a skill that’s developed over time, so be patient with her and tell her that it’s important to you that she learns it – and then support her. compliment her when you see her trying. reassure her when you see her slipping up and encourage her to keep trying. positive reinforcement always works
If you’re honestly saying you’re not cheating, and they ain’t your gf’s, then it’s the roommate, since she is jealous. Get another roommate, if they are hers, that’s scary….
im so sorry this is happening to you. I wish you healing and that some how all these people are removed from your life
It's brilliant. The ol switcharoo
Strong man. Stay strong brother.
Oh, sweetie. No, no, no. Think long and hard about how you want to spend your life. Waiting and being disrespected? Bc that’s all this kind and supportive man has for you.
If they can’t be awesome during the honeymoon period, then it’s not worth it. When they pull shit like this early on, it means they’re testing to see how much they can get away with, how much they can ignore you, and how bad of treatment you will accept. The more he can take you for granted, the worse he will get.
Plz don’t be a doormat. You deserve better.
After that ?
Who invited you to the shower?
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He is a disgusting rapist.
Break up with him and never look back!
I'm not going to lie, it all sounds like a very deliberate attempt to hurt you.
If you're really just talking about an occasional “0.5 seconds too long” look, then I don't think there's a problem? (Although if by “multiple times” you mean like several double takes, that would be too over the top lol). It would be an issue if he were blatantly ogling, but I think it's fine and normal for people in monogamous relationships to find other people attractive, while still being fully faithful, committed, and attracted to their partner.
It was meant as a /s
It was meant as a /s
OP should not arrange anything, she’s trying to get him to see her and the kid so she can drag him back into what is clearly a very unhealthy relationship.
Yeah, it sucks for the kid that his father figure just vanished and his mom’s clearly playing with this kid’s emotions and getting him upset, but OP should avoid contact.
At 3 he will not be able to recognize this guy’s face after a few weeks and he’ll forget about him pretty quick(unless his mom keeps bringing it up).
I agree, friend. Hope you and OP have a good day.
If you are drinking a beer every night in order to relax that is unhealthy. You need to find ways to tackle your problems and learn ways to look after yourself that doesn’t require alcohol to do that for you.
If I had spotted it, I would have known I was being irrational and never posted it in the first place. You don't need to be a professional therapist. In fact, St John's Ambulance strongly encourages everyone to complete a Mental Health First Aid course. So psychological help is 'in-depth' but asking about diabetes or obesity or even STI's (which are commonly asked about on relationship forums) which are physical problems is okay?
Ugh… what are you doing?
I don’t believe in closure. And frankly, it’s just an excuse to see you let the past be the past. Please don’t go see her contact her or anything just block her.
firstly correlation is not causation so it's not as simple as saying 'stressed mother = autistic child'. No one knows what 'causes' autism.
Agreed, but having a mother who is minimally stressed is probably good on the whole either way so I feel like the stakes are pretty low here in terms of potential harm done. Worst case scenario he makes an effort to make her life easier.
Secondly the neurodiversity movement takes a rather different view to the one you present here. It's neurotypical people who make life very hard for most autistic (and other neurodivergent and/or disabled people). The Deaf liberation movement is also instructive on recognising the diversity of people and different cultures/languages/ways of communicating
I'm aware of the moment and agree with both the goals and the premise, which is why I worded my comment the way I did. It is true that neurotypicals make life more difficult for neurodivergent people, as one myself (I'm not autistic but I do have ADHD) that's a reality I'm intimately familiar with and partly informs my perspective. It is also true that this child will be born into a world where that will continue to be the case for at least some of its life, because we are very far from creating the kinds of changes that would make that no longer a reality. I would love a kid just the same autistic or not, but if there were small, non-invasive, things that I could do to minimize the chances of them having to deal with all of that shit of course I would take them. You want your kid's life to be as easy as possible.
If you read the post you're responding to – he doesn't really care about this, he's looking to get out of his relationship.
Also true, and that's his prerogative. I just think there's a spectrum between “we can do small, easy things to minimize the risk of our kid having to deal with a thing we know will negatively affect their life” and like full on eugenicist “autism is a disease and should be eradicated” and keeping the mother's stress levels down during pregnancy because you read a study that says they're correlated is pretty firmly at the former end of that spectrum I think.
Your wife wanted to open the relationship up. Now she’s jealous of you and what you are doing in the open relationship.
If you love your wife, and want a relationship with her, then tell your wife that you will stop, but she also has to stop. As it isn’t fair that she gets to see other people and you don’t.
If you don’t mind one way or the other, then tell her she opened the relationship up, and unless she stops having relationships with other people, that you will continue to fuck anyone you want.
If you realise that your wife is a predator, and a hypocrite, then divorce.
Your children love you, and don't ever forget that. Be there for them.
This dude seems a bit eager to hang out and it's hella early to be asking you out already, specially after you told him you were unsure about dating customers. It's cool to be excited to meet someone new and all that, but the whole “sport event together in the future” and the random “let's go skating now” texts seems like he's trying to move things a bit too fast for you. It's def a red flag, my dude. It might be a bit of both, him being too eager and you being overly cautious, but you got every right to take things slow.
As for responding, you do you. If you're not feeling it, don't force it. Just be honest and tell him you appreciate the invite, but you're still figuring things out with the whole customer thing and you want to take things slow. You can be casual about it, but also assertive. You can say something like “Yo, thanks for the invite but I'm still feeling a bit unsure about all this customer dating thing and I wanna take things slow. How about we take it easy and just stick to texting for now?”
And if you don't want to be bothered with him again, you can say something like “Thanks for the invite but I don't think I can hang out tonight. And to be honest, I'm not sure about this whole customer dating thing. I think it's better if we just stay friends”
Just remember, don't feel pressured to do anything you're not comfortable with. You gotta look out for yourself.
haha yea, I seem to not be able to sum things up, but still thanks:)
OP claimed their GF’s only reason is she finds the sister “annoying”
Also this is the OPs stated interpretation of the gfs feelings. There is no way to know if it’s actually at all accurate. Maybe there is someth8ng legitimate the gf has said but op chooses to interpret it as “annoying” as part of dismissing the gfs feelings.
Why do so many folks ask this? You know damn well you should tell her. You instinctively know the answer.
So, step up and do the right thing.
Thank you for this, I’m really trying to do the right thing
From what I know, he’s single
“I would prefer not to have sex when you are pregnant and postpartum until you are healed” rather than “it disgusts me that you may have c-section scars, loose skin, stretch marks” etc. lots of people do not have sex while pregnant and shouldn’t for 6+ weeks postpartum which is okay. It’s how you go about it. If you love someone, you do not talk to them that way.
She is love bombing you.
Bad idea. Don't do a thing that makes your husband uncomfortable.
I suspect you would appreciate the same treatment from him.
Stop being an ass?
You need to make it 100% clear to her your opinion on this issue, preferably in writing like a text message so you have a paper trail in case it comes to divorce. You do not condone her being sexual or romantic with anyone else and if she wants to do that then you will have to separate.
I don't know if it's the feeling of pity or the fear that no one will meet my standards that's holding me back. You're right about me finding a man. At this age, someone should be trying in some way despite their mental problems, but I don't understand why he never takes a step. His own friends are all younger than him, and they have better lives, jobs, at least they take care of themselves.
I'm worried that my breakup will lead him to do bad things because of these mental problems. I'm talking about bad things that we can't take back
Go wit ya gut mate
huh?
sure if you don't feel like it don't do it but I have no idea about this whole “sexual/not sexual” thing, sounds like a pointless argument
Maybe have a sit down talk with her to determine if everything is okay. Hopefully it is. But the reality is that sometimes people change once they enter into relationships. Best case scenario she’s fine. Hopefully that’s the case. If not, she knows that she can lean on participating friends and family. Just be very diplomatic with your approach if you opt to go this route. It’s a walk on a tight rope for people who don’t have experience in the field.
Maybe have a sit down talk with her to determine if everything is okay. Hopefully it is. But the reality is that sometimes people change once they enter into relationships. Best case scenario she’s fine. Hopefully that’s the case. If not, she knows that she can lean on participating friends and family. Just be very diplomatic with your approach if you opt to go this route. It’s a walk on a tight rope for people who don’t have experience in the field.
How is this his new secretary's fault. She could be in a whole ass monogamous happy relationship.
How is it her fault ur husband doesn't know how to be faithful.
My best friend is a gorgeous woman. Honestly tall, long hair, eloquent and very smart! She's also a very successful lawyer. She got hired to a firm and put with a partner who's wife kept staring daggers at her and being cold with her and making comments because she was traveling with her husband for cases or spending late nights together for work legit just researching!
And kept making comments about how she was so young and probably slept her way into the firm! Among the other female employees at events or the other wives.
My friend is a whole ass virgin, christian saving herself for marriage.
This woman didn't trust her husband and somehow that became another woman's problem for simply being in his presence.
Sort that shit out with ur husband if u have that much distrust with him. Go to therapy ffs.
Guy here. This is completely normal! Same way how some women can only orgasm from oral or fingering and not intercourse. Don’t think too much
It's a one day of volunteering. How much good could possibly be done? How do they vet those people for security? Its performative volunteering at best. Opportunity for traffickers at worst
Holy Jesus . . . r/nothowgirlswork
or perhaps give him a cunt punt? sorry, your username is just great lol.
Yes, there is a thing called “cognitive empathy” ; that's what you learn in therapy with autism, narcissim, general lack of empathy etc
BUT
The person needs to WANT to learn it. And the empathy likely never will be sincere, but they learn in which situations empathy is asked for & how to express it but you csn't learn to feel an emotion you just fully lack
your man doesn't seem to be aware of, neither willing to work on this imo.
Start looking for another job and talk to your mom. It's really your only option.
There's no violence for sure. I am afraid to ask him…
Could it be he went in the shower to get off? I don't know what goes on in those showers.
I agree completely. You can even see it in the language he uses. “I compromised…” Compromise isn’t something one person does, it is something two people do together, and yet he sees only his side.
Try to be cold not volcanic when you have that convo. Easier said than done, I think I’d lose my shit. Best of luck to you dealing with this total snake of a FIL.
Well if it isn’t the consequences of my actions
keep doing things knowing they’ll upset her and do it anyway, but we’re surprised there are consequences? Are actually stupid… not a rhetorical question
I’d be happy to tell you how to help your husband to quit for good if you want. But not OP.
I've done it too. Been so frustrated. Usually its at someone else disagreeing in a similar manner as the one I am replying to.
Ask them about places they like to eat or local haunts to visit. I moved to a rural area 5-6 years ago and am still blown away at how little I know about the surrounding area.
With people who have grown up and lived in the area, they’re sure to know a bunch of cool places you haven’t been able to explore yet.