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Room for online sex video chat why_effy
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Date: October 12, 2022
Sounds like you might get some benefit from r/raisedbynarcissists. There are a lot of threads about what parents have learned, which therapies were helpful (reparenting and internal family systems come up a lot on the parenting threads), things that were triggering, etc. The focus on RBN is you and your health as someone recovering from abuse/control by the extremely self-absorbed, which it sounds like you could use, and figuring out what “healthy” looks/acts like.
Ted should cut his contact with her and there is no other right solution. She is very obvious in love with him and you don’t stay friends with someone who is in love with you when you are in a relationship, thats more than disrespectful. Sounds like Ted cares more about her feelings than yours if he’s not willing to cut her out of his life.
If your man aint willing to „hurt“ another girl’s feelings in order to protect yours he aint the one. Do what you want with that
So…I think you bring it up as “I want to talk to you about something, and I suspect it might catch you offguard because it was so long ago and might have seemed miinor to you. Bringing it up now is not about grudge-holding… it sticking with me this long just demonstrates how deeply impactful it was. Last year, when you cancelled our date because you learned I had relapsed… I know you weren't mad at me. I understand and respect that you needed your own space to process. I have been carrying it with me, especially now as we're talking about marriage, because I worry that you'll stop loving me or walk away if I have mental health struggles in future. Can we talk about that night? What were your feelings? How would you react to something like that in future? How can we work together to make sure that you can have the space to react as you need to and I can still know that you still love me?”
I would drop someone that put us in a bad situation due to a lack of good judgment. She is going to get you both killed one day. You cannot fix stupid.
I think you need a therapist to explore the root causes and your feelings for your current partner before making a decision.
I’m sorry but if you can’t be there for your boyfriend during these rough times I don’t see relationship lasting. Your boyfriend is doing what has to be done because it’s his parents.. I’m one of 6 kids and my older sister and I am only ones to take care of my parents so I get it.. it sucks when all kids don’t help but unfortunately it is what it is.. doesn’t stop me from doing what I should to help.., sounds like your boyfriend is same way.
He's not over his ex, and your relationship isn't amazing if he's bringing up his ex every other day.
You're in denial about the “little things” and should definitely reconsider this wedding
Look. I sincerely hope this post isn't going to be derailed by people arguing that she lied about being assaulted and instead cheated and is “for the streets.” Posts like this often devolve into really terrible perpetuation of rape myths and inaccurate claims about how “real” sexual assault victims would respond. That's never helpful to the poster.
This post, as you mentioned, isn't about her being assaulted but about her behavior. No one deserves to be assaulted. But people also don't deserve to be in relationships where their partner's unhealthy behaviors are taking a serious and dangerous toll both on themselves and on their partner's mental health and well-being.
Dating someone who uses alcohol dangerously, to the point that you're consistently afraid for their safety and their ability to get home, is not easy and it's not fair to you. Nor is the fact that she kissed someone else while dating you.
You shouldn't have to go through this. You are important in this relationship too.
It's up to you what you do next. And I am not of the mindset that people in recovery can never date, because they absolutely can, and are entitled to love and care just like everyone else. But as someone who used to use alcohol dangerously, and as someone who has been sexually assaulted, and someone who's been cheated on, I can say – only from my own experiences – that sometimes people who are not taking care of themselves are not able to be in healthy relationships until they do extensive work on themselves. To me, this seems like one of those times.
I hope she's able to get the support she needs and deserves for her experience of assault. I also hope you are able to receive the support you deserve as well – regardless of what that looks like.