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vikki-simons chat
Date: January 8, 2023
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vikki-simons chat
When I was younger, I was a beautiful woman. My husband's friends and customers made no secret of it but I didn't consider this my husband's problem. I was taught young to never let anyone touch me. If anyone ever had or does it will be ME they hear from. YOU can't allow this. Hell I'm 54 now and people never think I'm the mother of 33, 35 and 38 year old sons. If any of their horny friends tried to touch me, I would deal with it. My Dad told me when I was very young that being beautiful has it's positives and negatives. He said only very drunk, very stupid or very brave men would approach me and I had to be ready. This has turned out to be true. Create a forcefield around yourself. A boundary I suppose, I don't know what it is maybe resting bitch face but YOU allowing it once let this puke friend think you will allow this. YOU stop him.
Maybe you seek therapy. I don't think reddit is the place to ask about this.
Because of this, I feel like he won’t just accept it when I breakup with him. I have really strict parents
Stop one, change all your important passwords for everything. Write down the new pW's Don't use the same one for everything. Then reset your phone to factory settings. That's generally easy enough to do. Then re-download the apps you use. This will take a couple of hours. Do this immediately.
Sounds like you jumped from one controlling overbearing, and emotionally blackmailing relationship straight into a new one with your boyfriend. I'd guess your boyfriend initially offered the prospect initially of getting out from “under your parents thumb,” as they say in English. More like, out from under your parent's bootheel.
that will probably send me back to my original country if they found out I was dating.
Get your passport and ID from them. Take it back when they're out of the house if you need to, without telling them. Ask your boss if you can keep the passport in the safe at work. Tell your boss they've threatened to kidnap you and send back to country X and you're not comfortable keeping it at home.
Legally it belongs to you and in most countries stealing somone else's passport is a big time felony once you're old enough to vote.
Depends on the laws in the country you're in though. In most countries they also can't simply force-march you onto a plane without your permission, once you're 18. That's called kidnapping and human trafficking. That would also put them in jail for quite a while in a lot of countries, if they were caught.
Remember that they can't send you back unless you agree to step on the plane and don't say anything to the airport staff.
Remember that worst comes to worse, what you do is tell the front desk at the flight gate that you don't agree to be on the airplane and the ticket was bought without your consent. Tell them you refuse to board and you're being pressured to get on the plane. Theyll likely have security detain your parents and ask a bunch of real uncomfortable questions.
Just tell security that you're 18 years old and you have no intention to fly anywhere today and you didn't buy a ticket, and if it was registered in your name then somone else seems to have made an expensive mistake, you didn't make it, you just want to call a taxi and go home.
And even worse, he has pictures of me that I was stupid enough to let him take. I think he would use that against me because he’s reached out to friends of mine on instagram.
DM your friends on Instagram and others that he's stalking you and is threatening to blackmail you against your parents.
Like a circumstance out of my control, so that he doesn’t get pissed and do something stupid. Idk what to do.
Tell him you're going back to your home country to live with your aunt/uncle. Then block everywhere. Doesn't matter whether it's true or not.
Remember you don't owe him an explanation, and then less he knows the better for both of you.
Do this after you've reset your phone and changed all passwords. Also check the recovery email listed on important apps.
Tell your boss about the situation, tell them you've broken up but he's stalked you before. Tell your boss he has no legit reason to be on the property and to assume malicious intent. Also tell the front secretary depending on where you work. They should tell him to leave and threaten to call the police.
Just because he doesn’t brush his teeth often doesn’t change the fact that he dislikes the smell of your vagina. I don’t understand why comments here are so focused on the teeth thing, and if his breath is a problem for you then communicating that is ideal. If you care about him and your relationship, it might be worth addressing the concern with a doctor. Yes women have natural smells, but some women do have uncomfortable smells that prevent their partner from wanting to engage sexually. That is a very reasonable thing to discuss even if it makes you feel awkward. Some choices are to seek a doctors advice, ignore your partner’s concerns, or consider new ways to be intimate where the smell he claims to be bothered by isn’t a factor. If his penis smelled bad to you, it would also be fair to address that, so this goes both ways.
Depending on how he expressed this concern, you may or may not be overreacting. Was he gentle and considerate when telling you, or was he accusatory and rude, etc? Think about how he brought this up to you and decide if it came from a place of genuine concern and love. Maybe you clarified more about the relationship and this situation in other comments, if so I haven’t seen them, but I don’t think this is something to break up over or be very upset about. Try not to view this as him having the “audacity” to share his feelings with you. Assuming he is genuine, accepting his willingness to share his concerns with the person he cares about is a more positive mindset to have and could lead to a deeper, more meaningful relationship. Best of luck OP!
Do you think it would be healthy for the relationship long term to not say anything and just bottle it up?
Seriously kick his arse out.
I'm trying to understand if there's a question? Or are you just looking for support/validation around your situation?
Been together for a year and a half now. I’m just finding the constant lifting her up quite draining lately. (Thank you! I’m enjoying it so far).
My thoughts exactly.