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  1. Against protection due to religious belief but practices premarital sex? Your husband is a cherry picking Christian or whatever branch you are in Christianity. This dude is using religion to justify his breeding kink.

  2. What evidence do you have to back up his claims? Even if it were true, that's no excuse for the misogynistc name calling or for him giving you rules about how you can behave. That's ridiculous.

    Stop blaming yourself for nothing and start looking at where blame should lie.

  3. Tbf “never have” is different than “currently don't”.

    Absolutely true, you are correct mam.

    My husband doesn't, and I'm not saying that from a place of ignorance.

    When I had just read the first half of the sentence, i immediately thought “…that you know of!”, but then I read the rest.

    Men lose their drives with age, so it makes sense that they stop watching porn.

  4. Sure, but most relationships don't involve a male strip club customer seeing an 18 year old female waitress there and saying she's “too sweet and innocent” to work there, then taking her to dinner the next day and beginning to date her. To be fair, she changes details in her posts so it's unclear what age she actually was; in one post she says they began dating “right after her 18th birthday” and in another she says she was 21.

    But his behavior is not normal.

  5. It's his house and he's doing you a favor. He knows what you two are doing in your room and I don't blame him. If anyone has grounds to be disappointed it's him. You've got alot to learn about men

  6. You literally went through the pain of surgery and altered your body for a man who said this to you?

    Oh no should have told him to go his own tits done so he can play with them and be happy!

  7. It sounds like some therapy might be in order. Or some self-help books to help you get out of your own way. Your relationship with yourself is very important!

  8. I had a similar thing happen. It made me realize I was viewed as a “doer” and organizer more than I was viewed as a friend. It hurt like a real stab wound to the heart. All you can do is learn from this and accept the truth — these are not the friends you thought they were. I know it hurts. But distance yourself and look for new friends.

  9. He’s your best friend? Your best friend wouldn’t treat you like that. Is this the way you want your daughter to grow up thinking a relationship should look? At the very least, start your own bank account he can’t access.

  10. u/Equivalent-Baby6797, it looks like you're trying to post a throwaway submission. Your account is too young and/or your comment karma is too low.

    The right way to do it is to create a brand new Reddit account that begins with ThrowRA.

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  11. You give up now because he has already told you he doesn’t want to come back to this relationship. Respect his wishes and focus on yourself—pick up a hobby, etc.

  12. I am sorry but he is 51 and displaying the sexual maturity of a 17 year old. You said no and he raped you. And you come here to ask what to do? Dump him.

  13. Just as long as ypu can confirm he is not your bio dad or uncle or any close relative. I have read somewhere here as well a guy who hooked up with his long absent bio dad. Ewww.

  14. Pretty sure there are no tests that can detect pregnancy that early, unless it’s a blood test by a doctor.

    We’re you guys having consistent sex prior to 2 weeks ago? Any period where you weren’t intimate?

  15. Take social media out of it, and look at the situation:

    He makes promises to you and repeatedly breaks them.

    He is not giving you the time and attention needed for the relationship to work.

    You're helping him financially.

    You are putting in far more effort than he is.

    This relationship is working great for him; why would he want to change?

  16. What was said was unkind and unfair. Your feelings are completely justified.

    However, he probably wasn't thinking through what he was saying. He is trying to say you need to take some self care, it's just come across as a selfish message in the delivery.

    Perhaps talking to him and asking for some help to give you back some time for yourself would help everyone in the household.

    Also a toddler and a baby is the toughest job out there. It gets better, it really does.

  17. I’ve apologized but the damage is done and I just can’t forgive myself for anything I’ve done. I just don’t feel like I deserve it

  18. Honestly I'd be so annoyed with that. I'm sure you can ask him to not do it but I'd feel that'd dim his light because he most likely enjoys doing it.

  19. I have definitely been that person. Not enough to get an infection, but enough to consider stocking up on some adult diapers for my really bad days.

    I now have bunnies who don't put up with that crap because hungey bun is bigger priority than stupid human depression according to them lol.

  20. You have every right to be mad at your dad. However, do not insult or blame your dad's other child. None of this is her fault. Also, I hope you can acknowledge that your mom is also wrong here. She asked your father to abandon his child in order to keep her. If she couldn't handle his affair child, she should have left. Forcing him to choose between her (and likely you) and his other child is despicable. If you ask me, any pain she experiences from learning this, as she inevitably will, is her own fault. Also, in regards to you clearly being angry that he's paying for your half-sister's tuition, it's the least he can do after abandoning her. He paid for your entire life. He didn't do jack for her, and I doubt the lump sum he paid out at her birth was sufficient to cover what his responsibilities to her would have cost. As I said, you have every right to be angry at your father. But my honest suggestion in this situation would be therapy. You have learned you have a half-sibling that both of your parents knew about and never told you and that your father was unfaithful all at once. Just one of those is enough lto need therapy, honestly.

  21. I'm 28. When I was 26 I'd never date a 19yo. They're teenagers in their heads. Good for her to get rid of you. Grow up and date people your own age.

  22. We are working through it. I am realizing where I need to change for myself because if I can't love myself, no one can love me.

  23. This is assault, please take care of yourself op, this is not a healthy relationship. No means no! Surround yourself with good people!

  24. We are working through it. I am realizing where I need to change for myself because if I can't love myself, no one can love me.

  25. If they're not high, where the ponytail starts is right on the back of your head. So no resting your head on the back of the couch, the car headrest, your pillow. It's just more fucking practical not a sign to other men I'm DTF.

  26. Having many sexual partners isnt what makes her a hoe, its the type of people the partners are that are the problem…. Or so I see it at least

  27. This isnt a “friendship”. He's not your friend, he's a weird creep who will keep trying this shit until you cut him off.

  28. She's not dating that person. It's not equivalent. But it is another reason for them to break up.

  29. Guess what I have close friends and I don’t give af if they see me nude because Im comfortable in myself, and I trust them not to find it sexual. Your personal experience does not dictate the rules for others.

  30. I don’t understand what’s going on, but it is starting to make me wonder if there is something about him that I just don’t see, or if he acts differently when he’s not around me

    It's probably not him. We're going through a period of advanced social and cultural decline and as a result many people have become far more insular, self-centred, indifferent and in many cases mean-spirited. There is a lot less empathy, sense of community and acceptance of individual differences than there was 20-30 years ago.

    Let's talk here about morality and modern moral values – obedience to external authority, getting an education, getting a job, being financially self-sufficient – modern morality is based on material and financial values, not ethical values, not humanity, not empathy, not knowing the difference between right and wrong, not understanding the sheer importance of not causing anyone harm or suffering. Most people get raised as kids on the basis of these modern moral values, so they don't understand the sheer importance of humanity, empathy or human diversity, and when these kids grow up into adults and have their own kids these modern moral values get passed on.

    Anyone who differs from the norm gets labelled, and when people come across anyone who's different to them they tend to judge them and label them, and this is what creates the barriers and divisions. However if someone experiences poverty, inequality, hardship, their experiences of individual trauma tends to teach them a different set of values and they learn to get along with people who are different.

    Life is all about relationship and much of that relationship is our relationship to our environment, not just a natural environment but also a social and cultural environment. You cannot really blame anyone for the way they were raised and the things they were not taught in life. It's just the way things are. We are all living on the basis of memory and past experience and the knowledge of what works for us and what hasn't since the ages of 8 or 9. All of us.

    It's just the way things are. You just have to be with the people with who you find some kind of affinity or connection with and leave everyone else to figure it out for themselves.

  31. Leave him and tell her husband. He deserves to know just as much as you did. This guy's a master manipulator and a cheater, and he does not deserve any sort of forgiveness. Neither does his little side piece.

  32. He gave up on you two and is too lazy to break the status quo. That's it.

    Your relationship doesn't exist anymore. You have said it all many times and he just doesn't act on it. If he doesn't act, he isn't bothered. You said you're doing many things for him, what is he doing for you two?

    It's time you leave the basement. What you love is a memory now, unfortunately.

  33. Protecting your partner's honor to a random drunk guy? Damn, gotta make sure to keep appearances up for that. /s The idea of “Honor” is childish and outdated.

  34. Look at it this way. She is willing to let you walk into an ambush if a fan recognizes her on the street.

    Seriously, some rando recognizes her and goes all spastic. “OMG! It’s Marla Mounds! OmG! You were fantastic in Dirty Debutants 9! Please! OP take my picture with her. My friends will never believe this.” Can I get your autograph?”

    How are you supposed to react to something like that if she doesn’t warn you about it first? While I get she might be embarrassed by this and want to keep it in the past, it is something that can reach up and bite her and you in the rear.

    If she has any fear that you would leave her over this it would only be compounded if you are blindsided by it, and she seems ok with that. That to me is a red flag.

    It’s a small world out there.

    Good luck

  35. So by your logic, OP should keep it all secret, even if there is a chance that one of her many previous partners might decide to tell her husband?

    So instead of a possible relationship problem, you create a relationship ending situation.

    OP should way up the possibilities and make a decision and then either tell or not.

    We don’t know the population of where OP lives, it could be that the husband is already friends with some of them, or there could be millions of people surrounding them and a nearly 0% chance of OP ever being near any of them.

  36. You know, that really doesn't surprise me. He seemed to want everything his way. He couldn't acknowledge the sacrifices that I had made for him. I moved away from the only place I've ever known as home and moved away from my friends and family for him. According to him I have sacrificed nothing and done nothing.

    He was blowing up my phone and my Facebook so I blocked him and then he tried my email so I blocked him there. He was still trying to justify his shitty behavior. I just feel bad for this woman because I'm sure he's going to do her the same way. He's a selfish fuck face who doesn't care about anyone but himself. Good riddance.

  37. First things first, if that ever happens to you, you spit it back on them – preferably in their face. Secondly, you tell them to get the fck out and instantly block them. Thirdly, report them to the police.

  38. People are not going to advise you on how to salvage things with your abuser. I'm sorry man, but this is something you should run from. Once you get your car back, of course.

  39. Oh I definitely agree with you on that note, she’s uncomfortable with the situation and needs to deal with it or break up. I just meant I wouldn’t blame her for breaking up with him, I don’t see her being upset by this as unreasonable or insecure but she can’t control his actions, only her own. After reading her reply’s I do believe the real question she wanted to ask is how to force him not to go on the trip, and the answer to that is she can’t. She can only choose to stay in the relationship or not.

    I’m sorry that it causes you grief with her being in the friend group though, and know I wouldn’t be comfortable with it either. It’s also good that you trust your partner and decided that he brings more happiness then stress.

  40. He's had unusual sexual tastes though our sex life is more traditional. I wouldn't say he was a creep until now

  41. He already understands. He knows what he’s doing. He’s done all this on purpose. Educated women with jobs don’t put up with the slave wanting demands of a man. He knows that too. This is not love. Check out the narcissist boards. At the very least you’ll find hundreds of people who have been where you are. You’re in a trap rn but the good news is you can get out.

  42. Me? I’m not afraid of anything, I’m saying it’s not accurate to call it a girl’s trip when half the participants are men and the only other member me with an SO backed out. So it’s her and 3 single people in Florida.

    Should he be worried? I dunno. ?‍♂️ But people involved in relationships hanging out in Florida with single friends have definitely made “mistakes” before, so maybe her boyfriend is.

  43. This is a tough situation. I think showing him your bank statements normally wouldn’t be a big deal, but reading your comments and etc…idk, it sounds like he wants to control your money when you’re the one paying all the bills. He thinks you’re going to wipe HIM out when he’s not paying for much of anything??

    He clearly has major issues tied with money, and showing him your bank statements would just be the first step. Then he’d want you to clear it with him before you bought anything etc etc until he controlled your money.

  44. So many posts I read (usually from women) he's perfect except…. This guy is insecure, jealous, and controlling.

    His wanting you to move into a studio (no space to escape/hide/have privacy) apartment further shows his intention to control.

    You are 23 and this is probably your first “adult” relationship. Learn from this and move on.

  45. I once read a commentary that the easiest infidelities that are forgiven are the one’s that no one else knows about. Example: Woman cheats on her husband on an out of town business trip. Only she and the stranger know. She tells her husband and now only she, her husband and the stranger know. It’s still hard to accept, but he eventually forgives his wife. However, if before she tells her husband, she tells her best friend or anyone else, he is now forced to live with the knowledge that other people know and will always view him differently. The more public the infidelity, the harder it is for him to forgive her, because doing so makes him feel like everyone will always be judging him.

    You might not care that she had a past before you. That’s a well balanced attitude. Her past had nothing to do with you and was before you met.

    What you are feeling however is being blindsided that everyone you know has been intimately involved with your girlfriend, and she didn’t respect you enough to give you a heads up. Your discovery has made you feel like a fool and the shock on your friend’s faces that you didn’t know has now made her look equally bad in her eyes. They now know she built her relationship with you on deception and that is really making you question if they now view you as foolish or a chump.

    On a positive, everyone here sounds like a mature adult (except maybe your girlfriend) meaning they have never thrown their previous intimacies with your girlfriend in your face. It’s been 5 years and they never gave you any indication that they had a previous claim to your girlfriend or you had their “sloppy seconds”.

    Your problem is your own pride and ego. You feel like she has made a fool of you because she withheld information that may have made you choose not to continue a relationship, or if you had, wanted to separate her from her friend group. Maybe you would have never befriended them.

    Alternatively, you can take what she did very complementarily. She obviously met you and liked you so much that she was afraid to share anything that might make you see her differently than the person she grew into and risk losing you.

    Have an adult conversation with her. Tell her how it makes you feel without being angry. Remember anger is the simple emotion, and rarely what you’re actually feeling. Sadness, betrayed, deceived, foolish, etc are the real emotions you’re feeling that manifest as anger because anger is easy.

  46. The fuck kinda comment is this? No one is at fault here. Stick to facts instead of the baseless accusations that OPs partner is a bad person for being honest about what he feels. Enough with the black and white, good guy/bad guy shit. It's not only unhelpful, it's actively damaging. All bodies are different, some are more or less compatible than others. End of story.


    He brought it up on purpose.

    He wants her to be self-conscious.

    He wants her to try harder to please him.

    If he didn't want her to know he felt this way, he wouldn't have told her. Also, it has come out elsewhere that the guy is constantly playing with himself, like daily and constantly. THAT is the almost certainly the real reason he has any issue.

    Stop blaming OP just because you want to blame her.

  47. Is the same girl you just wrote about today? If so she's a violent, abusive drunk and you need to leave and work on your self esteem.

  48. True. You can start from discussing some sort of self-help materials on that topic, could be YouTube videos or, articles, maybe at some point a penny will drop, who knows

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