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good point, i will maybe update in a few days if everything goes right (or wrong) if i gain the courage to do all of this, it might take some time tho
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This dude's comment section clearly favor's men regardless of the situation.
You need to talk to him. There is a good reason why he’s reluctant to take your relationship further unfortunately none us here know exactly what that is. I promise it’s not anything you’re doing wrong or else he wouldn’t be dating you at all
Yikes that is super suspicious but sending moolah like that probably.
DO NOT try and pressure him into rolling with this ‘Tee-hee! A cute little mini-us!’ fantasy of yours. Wanna know what happens all too often when you do that? Check out r/regretfulparents instead of trying to bank on ‘It’ll be different because it’s your own’
Regardless of his reasons, not wanting kids is a perfectly valid stance. Give his feelings the same respect you feel entitled to from him. You’ve got no more business trying to twist his arm on this than he would pushing you into an unwanted abortion.
Plus, genetics are bonkers and you can’t guarantee the kid will look like either of you (read: sufficiently resemble an allegedly fertility-challenged father who didn’t want them to begin with and would already be doubting paternity). No kid deserves that burden, especially not just because the other parent was selfishly desperate for a mini-them. No amount of material comfort cancels out the knowledge that your own parent sees you as less-than literally because they don’t like your face or just plain hadn’t wanted you to exist.
I would say only keep an abortion to yourself if you have reason to believe he could become volatile over it. Nothing wrong with abortion IF you decide to go that route for whatever reason (and yes I read your whole post; just covering all bases here) … but it’s not the kind of thing you should go through without support. Likewise, if you fear aggression re: the pregnancy because he doesn’t want it to proceed. If you can’t discuss these things with him, you shouldn’t be trying to have a baby with him.
Can you explain why you pass out?
Change is scary. I get that. I think your GF needs to chase the job she wants, though.
You see, every relationship has a chance of not working out. If you read enough of these posts you'll see all kinds of nutty reasons that people break up. That doesn't mean you will.
You've said here that you have a great relationship and there really is no reason to think it will be otherwise. Don't manifest the bad stuff.
Think of all the great travel you will get to do with her. They have buddy passes for the airlines. You guys may get to see the world together and that is about as romantic as it can get! So many good things can come of her new job. Stay in her corner and maybe put some dreams on paper of places you'd like to go together. Mutual goals will bring you closer.
It is not easy to schedule, especially when you have seniority.
Especially when you have critical skills.
When I was in Iraq, my (now ex) wife expected me to get my two weeks back in Germany at about the six month mark. I was the seniormost (time in service) but most junior in rank because I was unable to get promoted (while healing from non-combat injuries) and everyone on my team got to take their mid-tour leave before me.
Why? Becasue I could do any of theor jobs but not one could really do mine. When they tried, the mission failed catastrophically.
She was LIVID and blamed me, claiming I didn't want to go home to see her or our daughter.
It was well beyond my control.
Since then, as a senior person, both in and out of the Army, I still haven't been able to take the vacations or even breaks I need.
The real issue is usually a disorganized work environment, poor documentation, poor cross-training, and poor project management.