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Tim – Allarext (social media nickname), 18 y.o.
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Online Live Sex Chat rooms Tim – Allarext (social media nickname)
Date: October 23, 2022
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You said it’s a deal breaker- Is it?
If it is- You got your answer
If it’s actually not- It was a shitty thing for him to do. Figure out the penance you want him to pay, then put it behind you. Be honest with him about how it make you feel. It shouldn’t be assumed that you’ll be the one to stay with your kid. It was a jerk move by him.
The alternative to those is hanging on to it for some period of time- A year? 5? and just what- fighting all the time?
If this is the person you’re going to be with for the rest of your life being pissed off like that and fighting all the time sucks. It sucks. You won’t be happy.
Having been to lots of nightclubs, pretty girls ALWAYS get that kind of attention. They have to either fight it off, or partake. So, OP’s boyfriend must be wondering – why does she need all this validation from dudes? Is he expected to believe that she hates it, but goes anyway? That’s bunk.
Sometimes simply saying “I don't want to be in a relationship” isn't enough because it leave them enough room to hope that eventually you will want a relationship. The issue is, you don't want to be in a relationship WITH HIM. That's maybe the part he's not getting. But yeah, there comes a time in which you just have to cut off the friendship because his pursuit is getting ridiculous.
I understand that completely which is why I’m really trying to figure out if this is going to work. I’ve been in 2 previous long ish relationships (one was a year and. A half, the other was 2 years) both ended way too late because I couldn’t bring myself to. However, after the second one I bounced back and realised that’s not how you have to live your life. I feel like I’m not scared to be alone anymore but I’m so scared of breaking her heart and giving her more stress
YES! That was the Dr. he was critically injured in a hit and run.
I don't think it's much of a blessing, I wouldn't have minded to have a baby if I was already graduated university as that ensures a better job. Plus my family expects a lot from me in the future as I'm the oldest child in my family and basically the most responsible one in the whole extended family. I'm willing to marry her if things go south for the sake of the child. But me being still young myself is just making things hard. I'm the type of person who usually calculates everything to the seconds, so something unexpected like this is frustrating. The thing is society expects us to have children once we are married but if you are an immigrant who just became an adult and in your freshman year in university and doing minimum wage jobs to earn basic living expenses, it infinitely harder to cope with a baby while being a bachelor and being the the sole responsible for bringing shame to the family
I mean, don't egg people on re: killing themselves, but he was also manipulating you. You need to leave this relationship. The fact that he was abusive in his response also does not mean you were right or justified.
Over a decade ago, I had a “friend” tell me to stop talking about being suicidal if I wasn't going to do it (not threats made in an argument, just expressing it for support at different points). So I looked up the LD50 for one of my meds, calculated it for my weight, and saved up for a couple months until I had more than that amount. No recollection of being taken to the hospital, some flashes from the ER, woke up in the ICU days later. Ended up back in the ER 2 days after being discharged because I began having an acute dystonic reaction. Developed very minor/superficial (and not too noticeable to anyone but me, but boy is it noticeable to me) twitching that lasted months and still happens when I'm stressed. I don't even know if that's “actually” happening, so to speak, or a psychological response from the associations I have with it.
I don't want to downplay what he did. That's scary, having a gun in the home with someone like this is scary, and I wouldn't feel safe. You need to make an exit plan and leave. But other people have covered that more, and better. But if someone is acutely threatening suicide, even if you are 99% sure they're manipulating you, call 911 instead of whatever the hell this was. You don't need to like the person, be emotionally supportive, or even respond to what they're saying. Just don't intentionally escalate once that's brought up. The people who show up when you call 911 will handle this better than you even if the person is engaging in 100% manipulation. If you're not comfortable being there, use this time to pack a very fast overnight bag and jet when they do. Then don't come back alone.
If you are scared for your life or scared for someone else's, act like it. If you don't want someone to shoot themselves, don't say “I bet you won't do it.” Very simple. Let loved ones/friends know what happened and make a plan with a few to send a text with a code word or something if you're afraid in the future, because this will happen again and you are writing like you plan on staying. They should call 911 and then begin heading over themselves (but don't come in and don't park where your bf can see, you can just let the kind first responders know you feel unsafe and have someone waiting to pick you up).
Here's a literal factual observation, your boyfriend is a dick. Tell him if he ever wants to see your body naked again to stop giving his opinion on it.
Have you expressed how you felt to your boyfriend yet? Does he stick up for you in these situations with his friends and family? If not, why? If he knows how you feel, and loves you, he should be willing to go to bat for you in this situation. He can’t control how his friends and family react to you but as a last resort, he can minimize or even cut contact with these people who aren’t willing to accept his partner.
One of my girl friends dated a guy in college who’s family was like this. They didn’t like her because she was black and they were white. They dated on and off for a few years. The family situation was a huge sticking point in their relationship. His father threatened to write him off the will if he married her. She always felt guilt coming between him and his family. They eventually broke up for good because it just wasn’t a healthy situation. His family was toxic AF but he was unwilling to part ways with them.
If she use the old “i didn't feel loved” argument. Why didn’t she told earlier? Why did she wait till you had this big show-down. To think that you were together for years planned to marry but she couldn't even say that she wished more compliments and more attention.
But you also should go to therapy. If you have the prefered women type like this, it must be a reason. And to be honest, if the woman is depressed and has body-dismorphia, doesn't love herself, it is not helpful for her that you never say nice things. I know you wrote you try to be better, but i just want you to realize that it is a bad match to behinn within and you should try to find a woman without those “traits”.
I always think it is hard to ever overcome cheating because there is no excuse for it. But to even be a chance the partner must be honest right away and not forced to confess because the other told you. And they shouldn't play it down. It was their decision. It wasn't a mistake. To put to much salt in the food is a mistake. Did she slip and then landed with the mouth on his dick? And since she couldn't find hold with her hands her reaction was sucking like a suction cup? Yeah, no…. And of course she tries to push it to the alcohol. Of no, it wasn't her fault, she was the victim of the alcohol! I also wouldn't be surprised if she at one point tries to play the victim “you can't leave me, i would be all alone. You can't do this to me. Oh no, it hurt so much. Pleeeeaaaaseeeee” And you feel forced to console her, but it is her fault.