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RIDE TOY, ✨ [425 tokens remaining]
Date: October 6, 2022
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WeekendPussy
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Do i got so much karma?
IF she wanted to sleep with someone she would not WANT to be in a monogamous relationship.
There's two types of wants here; there's values and desires. You can want to be healthy and want chocolate cake and at the same time NOT want chocolate cake cause you WANT to be healthy. You can have feelings of desire/want for others but fundamentally when you want to be in a monogamous relationship you DON'T want to have those relationships because you value your monogamous relationship.
If she JUST wanted to sleep with someone else and was so absorbed into that want she'd disregard her current relationship, then that's not the person to be in a monogamous relationship.
If you don't care about monogomy then this dynamic need not apply, but to call monogamy controlling is similar to saying boundaries that both parties agree to are also controlling
and she complains about me showering… because i don’t shower i’m very aware it’s not normal but i’m also very aware of when too get off my ass and shower
Reach out to her and set up a time to meet.
You likely are the affair partner.
You say you're doing shit work to support you guys like she's not working to support you both too. You seem very resentful of her.
I’m not one of those people who think polyamorous relationships inherently don’t work but this isn’t polyamory- this is her cheating on you. Polyamory only works well if there’s open and honest communication and people are respectful of each others’ needs. She’s cheating on you (which can happen in polyamory too) – she heard you were uncomfortable and set up a date behind your back and told you only when there was no chance of her backing out. I don’t think this relationship is worth salvaging.
I wish I could upvote more than once
Yeah i agree at the very least he needs to talk with a therapist and learn ways to cope, or at least remove the people who dont support him out of his life, or not drink so much that he decides he needs coke. all factors in which hes been doing well up until yesterday. i dont want to be controlling, or force him to do all these things and he has been doing them all on his own which is why i think it will stick eventually i just think he needs to seriously re-evaluate who he hangs out with, which he said himself after lastnight he doesnt plan on hanging out with those guys again. and said it really solidified that he was done dojng it after how sick he felt. but we all say things like that after drinking too much or whatever so i think he just needs something more solid. I wanna support him and set boundries without being controlling but give everything in the past i find myself being a little controlling in questioninng him and stuff.
As for the women, i fully believe he doesnt remember, he was texting at 3am and he would hand me his phone so confidently that nothing would be there but he genuinley forgets that he messaged people. Hes offered to delete snapchat or give me his password but that doesnt solve the root of the problem, mostly the coke, and feeling the need for validation. I almost want to let him delete it since i dont like how the messages and pics disapear but i think thats controlling and doesnt solve the core issue. Hes allowed me to see his phone at anytime but i always ask and dont look without permission. i dont like doing it and i sont want to invade his privacy or be controling but i dont know how else to build the trust back without checking
Dude. She is super inconsiderate and basically doesn’t give a shit about you. Open your eyes. Why do you keep putting up with this?? Better to be single than to be with someone who not only does nothing for you, but expects everything for you with no consideration for your feelings or financial situation.
Run
Couldn't understand the 2nd point