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  1. Wow thank you very much for this nice and balanced response. You are absolutely right.

    How do I know it’s the right moment to break up with him? from his side, I believe this relationship could continue on current terms for years. So how do I know I am “ready”? I know it may sound tempting to jump right into it but I know I would quickly come back. So what kind of arrangements (emotionally and practically) should I make before the break up?

    Also, can I stay friends with him after?

  2. See I get that but the problem is that I worry I've entirely read this wrong and her knowing that I've got feelings make strain our friendship if it isn't mutual and may make things more awkward or cause us to drift apart.

  3. This is what it feels like to date someone who does not like you or want to be with you.

    He’s an asshole for not just ending it. I hope you can see that. No decent person would treat you like this.

    What actually is the point of a relationship that makes your life worse?

  4. Well first of all, ditch this

    I feel like I was robbed of my youth (college years)

    You were not robbed of anything. You voluntarily participated in this relationship. To believe anything else forces you to believe that 1) you didn't have a choice in your life but was just along for the ride, 2) you would have been happier if you had broken up before college (who knows, maybe you would, maybe you wouldn't. Sorry, that's just life.) You do have a choice, you did then you do now. And if life was just as easy as knowing how it was going to turn out, we'd all be making different decisions.

    You are still young, 23 is far too soon to be giving up in depression. She didn't realize either, but far better you both figured it out before the actual wedding. This hurts, having to divorce on top of it would have been harder.

    Take your time to be depressed. This is depressing. Take the time to hurt, this was hurtful. Honor your feelings. Then, in a week or two, however long it takes, pull yourself back up, give yourself a wake up slap, and decide what you are going to do next. You'll get there, and probably be much happier tbh. She has saved the both of you from much bigger pain down the road. That doesn't mean you need to be happy about it right now though. Be sad, you deserve the time.

  5. Nah ya not a predator, you can’t be oblivious to the climate of the world we live in tho a lot of words are thrown around that don’t fit a situation which is sad cause it diminishes the gravity of those words.

    Having said that you guys are in different phases of life so the maturity difference is noticeable. Like others have said she’s in her collage drinking and party age, you are pass that coupled with the fact you have a child is a big life experience gap.

  6. Sounds like you don't really know your fiancee. Everyone wears a mask. You just got a peek behind hers.

  7. Being that you don't live together I think it's a bit much that she expects it.

    If it's a random occasion to help her out I think it's OK but not regularly.

    I do think you have to think about where the relationship is going, because if you do move in together you'll need to set clear boundaries about finances.

  8. If OP doesn't want to take a step back, then don't say “perhaps we should take a step back.” If it's not what you want, don't suggest it.

    I think the part about being concerned for investing so much so soon if he's considering other women is valid, I think that's a good way to phrase it.

  9. Be open about your thoughts/feelings/emotions. It doesn't mean you have to be the most expressive person ever but at least put in some effort. Also try to be responsive to your partners emotions and emotional queues.

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