You obviously don’t understand her culture…. It also sounds like the husband is protecting his abusive father….and it’s crazy how everyone is just okay with that.
Again, not logic. So sorry, OP, but you are not sahing things that are “logical.” You are saying things that are full of insecurity and projection into anothers' mind (not logical at all), and getting wound up. Logic would be lke “welp, I can't cast myself into another person's mind, and I trust my husband, so I'm just not going to worry about this because worry won't change things one way or another. Worry will not save me.”
As a child, I'd never betray either parent over this. It happend with my grandparents. I've seen it happen so many times where people choose to cut off family who has decided to divorce or has an affair. When a couple with small kids split, it's rare people will say yeah I hope they don't get to see their respective parents. Those people are important to a child and the split likely has nothing to do with the children.
Another way to look at it is If the roles are reversed and I was the one who cheated, I would hope my parents would still keep a relationship with me despite my poor decisions. Lots of times we don't know why we as humans act terribly, but many times we just want our family to still love us through the shit.
Your relationship with your dad is important and unless he's manipulating or using you or is toxic, then you have the right to keep it. Same as your mom. You can definitely respect her by keeping that part of your life to yourself, but she can't keep you from him.
I'm sorry, sounds like he really hurt you. But you will find someone who will treat you far better, you'll wonder why you tried to take a cheating prick back.
Okay yeah sorry I guess a didn’t realize how much I left out, my bad! We do live together now and we split pretty much everything 50/50. Our child wasn’t planned. Everything we’ve needed for our baby was kindly gifted to us at our baby shower so there has been no spending there except for monthly insurance premium.
He’s got to step up, and I want to be hopeful that he will. Yes, he may work night shifts, but he’s an adult and he should be able to handle his own chores. My husband has a hard time with cleaning up and pitching in too. What works for us was assigning specific chores to him and building it into a routine. He takes out the trash every day on his way to work, he does laundry over the weekend (I handle laundry during the week), he loads dishwasher every Sunday, etc. Just trying to give you some idea that worked for us. Start small with 3 chores and get him to do a deep clean with you one day to get you guys caught up.
You obviously don’t understand her culture…. It also sounds like the husband is protecting his abusive father….and it’s crazy how everyone is just okay with that.
Again, not logic. So sorry, OP, but you are not sahing things that are “logical.” You are saying things that are full of insecurity and projection into anothers' mind (not logical at all), and getting wound up. Logic would be lke “welp, I can't cast myself into another person's mind, and I trust my husband, so I'm just not going to worry about this because worry won't change things one way or another. Worry will not save me.”
As a child, I'd never betray either parent over this. It happend with my grandparents. I've seen it happen so many times where people choose to cut off family who has decided to divorce or has an affair. When a couple with small kids split, it's rare people will say yeah I hope they don't get to see their respective parents. Those people are important to a child and the split likely has nothing to do with the children.
Another way to look at it is If the roles are reversed and I was the one who cheated, I would hope my parents would still keep a relationship with me despite my poor decisions. Lots of times we don't know why we as humans act terribly, but many times we just want our family to still love us through the shit.
Your relationship with your dad is important and unless he's manipulating or using you or is toxic, then you have the right to keep it. Same as your mom. You can definitely respect her by keeping that part of your life to yourself, but she can't keep you from him.
That's my thoughts/opinion anyway.
I'm sorry, sounds like he really hurt you. But you will find someone who will treat you far better, you'll wonder why you tried to take a cheating prick back.
Okay yeah sorry I guess a didn’t realize how much I left out, my bad! We do live together now and we split pretty much everything 50/50. Our child wasn’t planned. Everything we’ve needed for our baby was kindly gifted to us at our baby shower so there has been no spending there except for monthly insurance premium.
If his misophonia is that bad then HE needs to leave the room. It would be NICE of you to be considerate but it's his issue, he needs to manage it.
So sorry this is happening. Who is the mistress? Did you know her too?
Maybe you can guess from the name? It’s a mixture of Hebrew, Jewish cultural and religious traditions.
He’s got to step up, and I want to be hopeful that he will. Yes, he may work night shifts, but he’s an adult and he should be able to handle his own chores. My husband has a hard time with cleaning up and pitching in too. What works for us was assigning specific chores to him and building it into a routine. He takes out the trash every day on his way to work, he does laundry over the weekend (I handle laundry during the week), he loads dishwasher every Sunday, etc. Just trying to give you some idea that worked for us. Start small with 3 chores and get him to do a deep clean with you one day to get you guys caught up.