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ssunnnyy chat (dont forget to follow me if you like me )
Date: September 25, 2022
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WeekendPussy
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Wow I hadn't either.
That’s what I’m trying to figure out, if I put my kids first. When I think about what they witnessed between me and their father, there is no doubt that I put them first. When I am absorbed in music and a satisfying relationship, I’m well aware that I’m not putting them first. So I create rules for myself like only working on music when I don’t have them, and talking to the bandmate when they are in bed. I know where my fear of being alone stems and I have had moments of clarity where I could see myself alone and be totally content, but I will only do that if my relationship is unsatisfying or unhealthy.
And then – the coup de grace – “She's always complaining I never do anything romantic and when I finally do, this is the thanks I get”.
It's weaponized romance incompetence. Now he never has to do anything ever again and can bring this up when she complains about it.
Sometimes people freeze.
Now, not starting anything on the spot with somebody else was probably the safest/best reaction your boyfriend could have had. In a rowdy situation with drunk people with little control things might have escalated in a worrying way.
But if I were you I would cut him some slack. I doubt that his non-reaction towards you in the moment had any judgement of you or what happened to you.
Sometimes when people are confronted with something absurd or outside of what normal interactions encompass they just go on tilt.
At times psychological components are at play – you look at what other people are doing to judge how you may proceed and nobody knows what to do or expects someone else to do something instead and nobody acts. Diffusion of responsibility is very powerful.
I think that what happened to you has very little to do with loyalty and a lot with instinct /human self preservation/just basic human behaviour 101 when confronted with danger/stress/the unknown.
Definitely not nosey thanks for all the advice. My girlfriend definitely doesn't pressure me at all and I am very ready. But it is indeed important that young men also need time and space. In my case tho it's more of a struggle to do it rather than not being ready to.
Yeah she’s been nothing but open with it, and has always told me if a dudes flirting with her or making a move. I don’t know why it worries me given how she is. But sadly it’s hard to control your own emotions and stuff. I think once I meet these people I’ll feel better about it, even if it causes me a little anxiety when they are partying I know I’m always more then welcome to meet her over there and join. So for a few months I think I’ll be ok