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Date: January 5, 2023
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Why are you with someone old enough to be your father? And since you were 19? That’s beyond disgusting of him.
I think what you want is totally reasonable, personally. I think it’s also not hard to misinterpret this with some of the ways you say things. I have about 10 seconds to come to these conclusions on Reddit, as does everyone else. That said, it seems like a lot of what you are up against is communication. I’d also really look into why you are feeling how you are about others buying you drinks. I think there is a bunch to unpack. I say this only from personal experience. When I was in terrible relationships, and I was in a lot of them, I would do pretty much that. I’d analyze why others were nicer or more generous. Though it’s always good to pay attention, in hindsight, I wish I’d just focused on what I wanted and been confident about it. It took me almost 50 years, two marriages and at least equally more bad relationships to figure it out.
Nope but you dodged a bullet.. As women have tried to evolve more independently, they’ve held onto some of the worst parts of our old traditional culture. And one of them is having a guy pay for everything. Don’t you think I’d be more fun if you paid some times, and they pay the other times. Like you treated each other both kind of equally financially. You dodged a bullet.
Do what ya wanna do, and he will do what he wants to do. Simple he told you a insecurity of his that’s shared by a lot of men, you can decide wether it makes sense or not. Personally I’d leave if ya went through w it. But that’s me.
Well dude, I'm proud of you for taking that first step, kudos!
Or 8-9 days ?? for some of us grrr
My husband is almost 10 years older than me and we have a great relationship.
Age gaps between adults are not inherently bad. They’re a red flag that should make you consider other aspects of the relationship like the power dynamics and levels of maturity and the alignment of values and goals.
They can often be bad because it’s more likely that the older partner leverages their experience and position to control or overstep boundaries. Or if each of the parties are in very different stages of life. It’s also often a clue that the older partner is much less mature than they should be.
But none of those things are necessarily true every time. As long as your relationship is healthy and balanced and you’re happy, there’s no problem.
I will say that combined with your more vulnerable mental state and his career as a social worker, I’d consider the whole situation a pretty big red flag. But again, that’s not inherently a problem, just a lot of clues that there could be issues here.
Leave
? ? ?
Welcome to the weird world of human relationships. Very normal. He's probably avoiding any drama with the new g/f by clearly not interacting with you. You might be okay with it, but a great many other women are really not okay with their new b/f interacting with the ex. It might be her being overbearing, it might be him being careful, it might be him overreacting or allowing some residual romantic feelings to make it even more complicated. Who knows exactly? Whatever it is, you'll have to accept that this is it now and he's “moved on”.
After all, why not? Why shouldn’t I keep it?
Yeah, I think that kind of joke is fine when it’s not coming from a dude that dates teenagers lmao