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Date: March 31, 2023
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seconding this!! call health insurance company and ask for a care manager/social worker. there are various resources she qualifies for, you need someone to help you navigate all that and get it applied for. even medicaid, which I'm assuming she's on, provides care management. in some states you can be paid to be her home health aide, but honestly it will be better for your mental health to get one through an agency.
additionally, you need to start managing her weight OP. watch some my 600lb life, because that is your future if you continue to enable her like this.
Then the question is why isn’t he putting in this effort to be attractive to his wife? Men are always on here complaining about “dead bedrooms”, meanwhile they’re whitening their teeth and getting tans to look good for other women.
Anything but the whole truth is a lie. She can not lie by omission and expect you to accept that. Perhaps marriage counseling could help. However, it's ok if you decide you can no longer trust her.
You don’t owe him anything but i will say this. You hace to learn to set boundaries, and follow through with consequences for people who break them before getting into another relationship. One starting step, would be to empower yourself and have the conversation with him. If he begins to try to convince you otherwise then follow up with “i don’t need any convincing, i am telling you out of courtesy, and if you continue to make false promises, i will have to distance myself and block you.” Then, follow through with that statement if he continues.
If you don’t learn to follow through, you may end up in the same situation. Both of you have issues with following through with your promises (or ultimatums) and you need to take the steps to change that in you.
I studied abroad and it was one of the best and most life changing experiences of my life. Do not change your study abroad plans for her. Do the full year, the year you wish to. This isn't the kind of thing you should give up for a partner.
Well to be fair he might have immediately apologised. OP doesn't know.
I think that this is an “its bigger than either of us moment” for the relationship, partly because this was hidden for so long.
OP doesn't have to engage that and get help together, but if they want the partnership to succeed then both of them need individual and couples counselling.