You have to ask her to leave. If she doesn't, then you have to involve the police. If the genders were reversed, this would be called coercive control. It is now time to save yourself and live your life. Involve her family if necessary. Ask a friend round for moral support and to bear witness to her manipulative, histrionic behaviour. Maybe she'll be forced to seek help when she stops clinging to a dead relationship.
Maybe suggest to him a threesome and inviting a female over, most guys are quite happy with that deal.
I'm in a pretty similar situation myself although my relationship isn't perfect ? I'm a bi woman in a relationship with a man. I have never dated a woman do really want to explore that a lot more
If my relationship were like yours I would definitely bring this up with him, maybe he has similar thoughts about exploring men? You might have some common ground here with him
You have some misconceptions here. The foreplay thing is super significant, and this right here tells me that you don’t understand women’s physiology either.
Some women are more “wet” than others. It’s not necessarily an indicator that she’s turned on or even that she enjoyed the sex. There’s a lot of reasons for this, but that’s not really important right now.
I’m not trying to be a jerk when I say this, but you clearly don’t know enough about sex to fix this on your own. You need to talk to your wife and find out exactly what she likes and how she likes it. If that doesn’t get you anywhere, you need to talk to a sex therapist. I would recommend doing this regardless.
If you’re just here to vent and not actually take any advice, that’s your choice, but it’s not gonna get better by doing nothing.
OK I will share something with you. My husband was kinky, so what appeared nice on the outside was. But he had his own kinks that made him interesting. I’ll just leave it at that.
Also alcohol, is a far worst drug than most of the others. Frankly, it destroys relationships. Physical health causes betrayal. I would work. I’m drinking too.
I wouldn’t have a problem with him not wanting to live together just yet, but I would have a problem with him moving far, which would make it a ldr. I wouldn’t do it. That’s just me.
So…she went out with her friends one night…she texted a person in her group chat…guys liked her photos…she liked other guys photos…
The nerve of some women, thinking they have the right to talk to other people or hang out with other people when they're in a relationship. I'm surprised she's not in prison!
Before I say anything, whether I firmly believe it or I'm just being facetious, I weigh the risks and reward of saying it. If there isn't enough reward to justify the risks, I shut up or say something else. If everytime you talk to your dad you guys find something to disagree on, maybe you can take the initiative to not say the things that make you guys fight. I think that's the spirit of what your dad is trying to say and good life advice in general.
It comes up as a typo on my keyboard but yes, I just had to though. I never ever, until now, have corrected typos on Reddit, so I thought I’d give it a try here just cause it really stood out to me.
I mean I kinda get it*, but also the stuff isn’t that cheap. I think if it makes you that uncomfortable you should offer to buy her new versions of it.
*Its different if we were talking toys that were in an ex and she was suggesting it go in you. That’s just a no.
And I get that, and I’m not saying he shouldn’t be supportive. I just don’t get the notion that he should take a position on something he has no control over. After all, she is the only person that has a say in the matter and will do whatever she thinks is best regardless of how he feels
He actually wanted to explain himself smh so gross. The fact that he told her he didnt have “ill intentions”, yea that doesnt mean anything. You felt entitled to touch her body because thats how predators think.
Learn to dress to the occasion and you will go a long way. However don’t be shocked if your alt boytoy isn’t able to level up in the way that you can’t currently level down.
Get over the trip. You decided not to go so there is no reason to think about it. If you focus on this it could cause future problems. Find something else to do with your husband during this time
It was for her gf, not her. It's basically so the kid is still basically related to her. I get it. I wouldn't do it cause it's weird, but I at least understand the idea behind it.
Order pizzas to his house from every joint in town. Order lunch for 20 to his work. suscribe to all kinds of questionable magazines and catalogs in his name.
I live in a city, and I don't know anyone in my life with a temper. In fact, part of living in the city is realizing that assholes in the city occur at the same rate as they do in the country, just that because there is a much higher population in the city, there are a lot more assholes, so you know not to start shit.
I would buy your own place and continue to move forward with your life. If he is still by your side great, if not move on. I wasted my early 20’s and bought a house and did all that. Ended up back at my dads and broke. I’m in my mid-thirties and married now but I wish I bought my own place and did my own thing and not worried about my boyfriend.
This is a DUH situation honey! He manipulated you, abused you. DO NOT FEEL BAD FOR HIM, SCREW HIM, HE CAN GO TO HELL
You haven't spoken to him in a year, and you are afraid of his reaction to being told you've moved on….WHY SPEAK TO HIM AT ALL?!?!?!
Block, ignore, lock down your life, tell your current circle of friends about the abuse. let them know how this person acted.
and get out of the mind set you feel bad for him…why? you feel bad because you didn't let him abuse you? come on!
Of course she is cheating. The both of you had an agreement to not sleep with anyone during the separation, she is breaking that agreement.
I would say the separation is over and you should proceed with divorce.
You have to ask her to leave. If she doesn't, then you have to involve the police. If the genders were reversed, this would be called coercive control. It is now time to save yourself and live your life. Involve her family if necessary. Ask a friend round for moral support and to bear witness to her manipulative, histrionic behaviour. Maybe she'll be forced to seek help when she stops clinging to a dead relationship.
Best of luck ?
How honoured you are to be asked to speak, how happy you are for her and best wishes to the happy couple for a wonderful life together.
Think of a tool to til the fields.
A broadfork?
Maybe suggest to him a threesome and inviting a female over, most guys are quite happy with that deal.
I'm in a pretty similar situation myself although my relationship isn't perfect ? I'm a bi woman in a relationship with a man. I have never dated a woman do really want to explore that a lot more
If my relationship were like yours I would definitely bring this up with him, maybe he has similar thoughts about exploring men? You might have some common ground here with him
You have some misconceptions here. The foreplay thing is super significant, and this right here tells me that you don’t understand women’s physiology either.
Some women are more “wet” than others. It’s not necessarily an indicator that she’s turned on or even that she enjoyed the sex. There’s a lot of reasons for this, but that’s not really important right now.
I’m not trying to be a jerk when I say this, but you clearly don’t know enough about sex to fix this on your own. You need to talk to your wife and find out exactly what she likes and how she likes it. If that doesn’t get you anywhere, you need to talk to a sex therapist. I would recommend doing this regardless.
If you’re just here to vent and not actually take any advice, that’s your choice, but it’s not gonna get better by doing nothing.
Whether this story is real or something you fantasised about for the karma, you are an absolute clown and you should feel embarrassed.
You’re being an idiot and you’re going to ruin your relationship. She loves you, unless she gives you a reason to doubt her love knock it off!
OK I will share something with you. My husband was kinky, so what appeared nice on the outside was. But he had his own kinks that made him interesting. I’ll just leave it at that.
Also alcohol, is a far worst drug than most of the others. Frankly, it destroys relationships. Physical health causes betrayal. I would work. I’m drinking too.
I wouldn’t have a problem with him not wanting to live together just yet, but I would have a problem with him moving far, which would make it a ldr. I wouldn’t do it. That’s just me.
So…she went out with her friends one night…she texted a person in her group chat…guys liked her photos…she liked other guys photos…
The nerve of some women, thinking they have the right to talk to other people or hang out with other people when they're in a relationship. I'm surprised she's not in prison!
Before I say anything, whether I firmly believe it or I'm just being facetious, I weigh the risks and reward of saying it. If there isn't enough reward to justify the risks, I shut up or say something else. If everytime you talk to your dad you guys find something to disagree on, maybe you can take the initiative to not say the things that make you guys fight. I think that's the spirit of what your dad is trying to say and good life advice in general.
Then why did you waste so many years in a resentful relationship? You have both done each other wrong.
Shoot your shot. Nothing to lose, is there?
It comes up as a typo on my keyboard but yes, I just had to though. I never ever, until now, have corrected typos on Reddit, so I thought I’d give it a try here just cause it really stood out to me.
I mean I kinda get it*, but also the stuff isn’t that cheap. I think if it makes you that uncomfortable you should offer to buy her new versions of it.
*Its different if we were talking toys that were in an ex and she was suggesting it go in you. That’s just a no.
She's not on BC and he doesn't do condoms is reason enough
And I get that, and I’m not saying he shouldn’t be supportive. I just don’t get the notion that he should take a position on something he has no control over. After all, she is the only person that has a say in the matter and will do whatever she thinks is best regardless of how he feels
This is borderline sexual assault, that’s why he’s acting the way he is.
He actually wanted to explain himself smh so gross. The fact that he told her he didnt have “ill intentions”, yea that doesnt mean anything. You felt entitled to touch her body because thats how predators think.
Sounds like you don't know the ins and outs of what happened, then. I'd assume going back isn't an option.
Then don't.
You can figure out why it makes you uncomfortable and work on that. But until you do. Not.
Learn to dress to the occasion and you will go a long way. However don’t be shocked if your alt boytoy isn’t able to level up in the way that you can’t currently level down.
Agree with others on death grip ..
BTW There’s absolutely NO WAY of saying it without being degrading so don’t say a word
Beyond it being cringe, he could easily rap without being misogynistic and gross and yet he chooses not to. This guy sounds like a loser
My money's on both if she chooses 3.
Get over the trip. You decided not to go so there is no reason to think about it. If you focus on this it could cause future problems. Find something else to do with your husband during this time
It was for her gf, not her. It's basically so the kid is still basically related to her. I get it. I wouldn't do it cause it's weird, but I at least understand the idea behind it.
Order pizzas to his house from every joint in town. Order lunch for 20 to his work. suscribe to all kinds of questionable magazines and catalogs in his name.
I mean, obviously you don't stay with somebody who is fine with torturing you.
But how common is the ingredient? Is this going to be a problem with every girl who doesn't use a very specific ingredient?
I live in a city, and I don't know anyone in my life with a temper. In fact, part of living in the city is realizing that assholes in the city occur at the same rate as they do in the country, just that because there is a much higher population in the city, there are a lot more assholes, so you know not to start shit.
Clingy fat women**
I would buy your own place and continue to move forward with your life. If he is still by your side great, if not move on. I wasted my early 20’s and bought a house and did all that. Ended up back at my dads and broke. I’m in my mid-thirties and married now but I wish I bought my own place and did my own thing and not worried about my boyfriend.
And if you don’t catch a charge you’re gonna catch someone’s hands.
Nah you are one