My husband (M36) told me (F35) that I should buy closed-toed shoes since I don’t do my toes.

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My husband (M36) and I (F35) were at Target and I mentioned needing new shoes for work. They're pretty beat up and he agreed, but then he added, “you should look for some close-toed shoes since you never do your toes.” I was a bit hurt by this and said “that’s not very nice…” to which he responded that I took it the wrong way. Since it really hurt my feelings and he didn't understand why or apologize, I brought it up later and it started a huge fight. He said “so I told you to paint your toes, get the fuck over it.” Things calmed down and he later apologized but now I feel very insecure about my feet. I have Hashimotos, which is a thyroid disease. One side effect is very brittle nails. I've always tried to grow out my finger and toenails to paint them, but they always break. I guess it makes me feel insecure.

Am I being too sensitive? I'm just disappointed he feels this way about my appearance but I may just be overreacting because of my insecurity. I'm also a bit bothered he didn't reassure me afterwards, just said “sorry.”

EDIT: to be clear, my toes are clean and healthy. I keep them moisturized, and my nails/nail beds are free of fungus. The only thing is my nails are always short. They don't look bad imo, which is why I never felt the need to hide them. They're just short because they are brittle, so I don't normally bother painting them. That's it.

Thank you to everyone that responded. I understand my partner has a right to like what he likes, just as I have a right to wear my toes the way I feel most comfortable. I just didn't appreciate that when I said I didn't appreciate the comment, his first reaction wasn't to apologize. I feel he should care about my feelings. They are, after all, MY feet!

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Date: November 26, 2023

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