My (20f) parents (51m, 45f) are telling me to not come home for thanksgiving break because I went to a debate tournament

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I’m in college right now and I live away as I dorm. I’m also in my colleges debate team and this weekend we had a debate tournament at a school a couple hours away from us. I actually live in the same city as where the debate tournament was taking place.

I was planning on going straight home after the debate tournament for thanksgiving break. I told my family I would be home this weekend and that I had the debate tournament as well. They were fine with it.

Since the tournament was a two day thing, I initially asked my parents if they were comfortable having me and my team members stay over at my house. They said we don’t have the space so I should look for accommodation elsewhere- and by that they meant a hotel.

My debate team then looked for hotels but we were gonna be there in a friday night in a big city so we decided it to stay at another team members house who also lived in our same city.

Anyways day comes (yesterday) and we attend the competition and it goes on until 11pm. I call my parents and tell them i’m going to my team members house.

My dad loses his mind because he thinks we should be in a hotel and that my university doesn’t care about us since they didn’t put up in a five star hotel and drive us out there with a big car.

I tell him that’s not how it works, as a club we only get a certain budget and we chose to not spend it on a hotel so we could have money left over for other future expenses.

He was also upset i’m staying at a “strangers” house even though it’s my teammate i’ve known for years and her parents were there with us. My dad was upset and told me to find my own way home (he was initially going to pick me up). My dad didn’t end up picking up my calls later into the night.

Early this morning, when we arrived at the tournament for our second day here, I called my parents to let them know I’m safe. My dad angrily told me to quit the debate team and this would be my final tournament. I told him no I won’t be doing that and that I didn’t do anything wrong last night anyways.

In the end he told me to just go back to my college and not to bother coming home for thanksgiving.

I’m still at the tournament right now and we leave in a few hours.

How do I better communicate with my parents on this issue and should I just spend thanksgiving break at school?

Edit: I have an off campus apartment so I can go back to my apartment and the rest of the debate team was gonna drive up to my school so i’d just be joining them back

submitted by /u/throwawaycanmandan
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Date: November 18, 2023

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