From personal experience and this doesn't justify it, you can eventually think the ring and ceremony aren't needed anymore. With my last partner, whom we had a house, I was a step dad, the expense seemed to outweigh the benefits. Wedding are expensive and it seemed to me I'd rather spend the money on family vacations, renting the cottage each year, getting the kids in sailing camp etc.
Of commitments the thing, have a convo with the guy. If it's a ring a the legality of it, I'm sure you two can figure it out. I find in long term committed couples this issue is generally miscommunication IMHO.
But I'm basically twice divorced so take this free advice foe what it's worth
You don't have to DO anything but listen to your GF and validate her feelings. That's being a good bf. Also, keep an eye out because it doesn't sound like your GF wrong about how your Kim feels about her.
Talk to your parents, as well, so they understand that it isn't your GF that's stopping you from coming over. Whatever you do, do not say anything about how your GF feels because she didn't want you to and it could give you mother ammunition if your mom really doesn't like your GF.
I also want to note that I found the two other accounts on MY phone through my own tiktok. I’m not sure if that was clear. I see where you’re coming from!
From my experience these posts (or at least in the comments) OP will usually say “I have never cheated or been with someone else during that period.”
OP doesn’t do that anywhere, while also saying “the test was negative – but maybe they tampered with it?”
This makes it sound like she knows that there is a chance that it’s real, but that maybe it isn’t (or at least she’s hoping)
Lastly – if you go in and have a look on OP’s comments, in the beginning every response to the people saying “take another” she answers “no he won’t be interested” and “I just want to get to a civil place again”
This (to me) makes it look like she knows she slept with someone else around that time – and instead taking the chance with another test instead wants tips on how to get him to believe that his family is conspiring against her and drop the accusations.
I’m just glad to see an op with standards and boundaries for her husband’s hygiene, unlike the usual, “Hi Reddit, my partner hasn’t brushed his teeth in twelve years, leaves skid marks on the furniture, and has roaches under his foreskin; should I say anything or am I too picky?”
If I was in you shoes, definitely make sure you aren't lonely at the present time. If in 6 mos or yr you still want to be a mother, I'd prob agree to a family member.
I will point out what no one else really seems to be mentioning here, but tone changes the entire context of that greeting. It could either have been casual and tired sounding, which I think is what most people are assuming, or it could have been rough and angry sound, in which case, it absolutely would have come across as rude.
You may not have meant any tone, but it still sounds like there was one, and it's likely the reason your wife is frustrated with you, and reacted how you did.
Either way, it's a pretty quick apology to solve this one, since you haven't yet. And it's also not wrong to ask her a) to inform you of future guests before you walk in surprised, and b) ask her what would be a better way to approach it in the future.
Either way, continuing to ignore it after she raised an issue, isn't gonna solve anything.
I have a house and two kids. Nothings decided but I cant walk out. I’m on maternity leave.
From personal experience and this doesn't justify it, you can eventually think the ring and ceremony aren't needed anymore. With my last partner, whom we had a house, I was a step dad, the expense seemed to outweigh the benefits. Wedding are expensive and it seemed to me I'd rather spend the money on family vacations, renting the cottage each year, getting the kids in sailing camp etc.
Of commitments the thing, have a convo with the guy. If it's a ring a the legality of it, I'm sure you two can figure it out. I find in long term committed couples this issue is generally miscommunication IMHO.
But I'm basically twice divorced so take this free advice foe what it's worth
Have no idea what any of this means
You don't have to DO anything but listen to your GF and validate her feelings. That's being a good bf. Also, keep an eye out because it doesn't sound like your GF wrong about how your Kim feels about her.
Talk to your parents, as well, so they understand that it isn't your GF that's stopping you from coming over. Whatever you do, do not say anything about how your GF feels because she didn't want you to and it could give you mother ammunition if your mom really doesn't like your GF.
I also want to note that I found the two other accounts on MY phone through my own tiktok. I’m not sure if that was clear. I see where you’re coming from!
That's exactly it. The label child porn belittles the whole thing.
From my experience these posts (or at least in the comments) OP will usually say “I have never cheated or been with someone else during that period.”
OP doesn’t do that anywhere, while also saying “the test was negative – but maybe they tampered with it?”
This makes it sound like she knows that there is a chance that it’s real, but that maybe it isn’t (or at least she’s hoping)
Lastly – if you go in and have a look on OP’s comments, in the beginning every response to the people saying “take another” she answers “no he won’t be interested” and “I just want to get to a civil place again”
This (to me) makes it look like she knows she slept with someone else around that time – and instead taking the chance with another test instead wants tips on how to get him to believe that his family is conspiring against her and drop the accusations.
Absolutely agree
Get a job
I’m just glad to see an op with standards and boundaries for her husband’s hygiene, unlike the usual, “Hi Reddit, my partner hasn’t brushed his teeth in twelve years, leaves skid marks on the furniture, and has roaches under his foreskin; should I say anything or am I too picky?”
If I was in you shoes, definitely make sure you aren't lonely at the present time. If in 6 mos or yr you still want to be a mother, I'd prob agree to a family member.
I would be terrified to ever touch this woman again. If it were me, this would very easily have torched the relationship.
I think she is lacking emotional intelligence.
the literal last sentence of the post before he deleted was him asking what to do lmfao
You do what you see fit. But he has communicated a boundary to you. If you do not respect that boundary, expect him to go fund someone who will.
That’s what I think too, never complemented unless it’s on something physical, maybe that’s all he actually likes about me
I will point out what no one else really seems to be mentioning here, but tone changes the entire context of that greeting. It could either have been casual and tired sounding, which I think is what most people are assuming, or it could have been rough and angry sound, in which case, it absolutely would have come across as rude.
You may not have meant any tone, but it still sounds like there was one, and it's likely the reason your wife is frustrated with you, and reacted how you did.
Either way, it's a pretty quick apology to solve this one, since you haven't yet. And it's also not wrong to ask her a) to inform you of future guests before you walk in surprised, and b) ask her what would be a better way to approach it in the future.
Either way, continuing to ignore it after she raised an issue, isn't gonna solve anything.