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Date: February 7, 2023
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That might be, thanks for giving me a new perspective. But I still don't understand why he would bring these up if he knows we will not agree with each other. I avoid confrontations at all costs and never show him or bring up anything he may not like, but I can't understand why he doesn't do the same.
I’m ready to leave him if he doesn’t know after SIX YEARS
IF? he told you he wasn't sure. He's never been sure. He didn't tell you the whole time you've been dating that you are a dealbreaker. Don't waste more of your time on someone who could have these reasons that if they were a problem should have prompted him to break up with you at most 5 years ago at the least 6 years ago.
Do not internalize his criticism. He's just been keeping them in his back pocket for this exact conversation.
This. You should NEVER have to change aspects of your personal appearance for someone to keep them around.
Him telling you you need more tatoos is akin to him telling you you need a boob job because your breasts are too small. You are fine just the way you are. Do NOT change yourself to please someone else.
Sis, it truly sounds like the relationship has run its course. The longer you stay with him the worse your self esteem will become and you will get more and more depressed.
Okay…I have these issues as well. I am not OCD but can really get stuck in a loop about something. I really hope you consider it as a possibility. It is difficult to notice this about myself in the middle of it.
Take all of these comments into consideration. This is something beyond your control that you seem to be concerned with negative outcomes. Again, center yourself, realize it's not your responsibility to manage other people, and tell yourself to put it down (as often as necessary).
I am glad you are doing better than before.
I kinfd of wonder , after reading this post, how do you dare to ask antone about giving her your eggs.
Have you read yourself?
I don't usually okay devil's advocate, but it may not have anything to do with a romantic relationship. I wonder if he had an abusive female in his life that wore high ponytails, like his mom or a nanny or certain daycare worker, etc. But, regardless of what it is, you are not responsible for emotions or behavior, and he needs to seek help with a professional to figure out why this triggered him the way it did.
I have no idea how long you've been dating but based on your ages I do not think it is an issue. Friendships are vital.
She's been traveling. That's all you have proof of.
This was all in your control, bud.
I’ll probably get downvoted for this, but oh well. To start, all the people who are saying a 10-20% chance actually means she doesn’t want kids clearly don’t know anyone who definitely doesn’t want kids. Childfree (CF) people are pretty adamant about not wanting them. It means she probably doesn’t but has been on the fence about it. It’s time to sit down with her and find out WHY she doesn’t really want them or why she is a fence sitter. If she’s on the fence because of societal pressures or because she thinks it’ll make you happy, then there’s your answer. If she truly doesn’t know, it’s time for a discussion as to what each of you thinks.
As someone who is adamantly CF, I can say that you definitely sound more like someone who wants kids. You need to think long and hard as to whether or not this will be a dealbreaker. When one person wants kids and the other doesn’t, there isn’t a compromise. This is a huge issue. In these cases, things usually end with a lot of resentment.
Please tell your wife to visit the r/childfree sub if she has questions or concerns about what a CF life is really like. The people on the sub face issues with incompatibility, constant questions, and partners who change their minds all the time and can give her a real perspective as to what it’s actually like and possibly help her figure out what she really wants.
Unless your wife has all of sudden become unhinged… something must have made her think you’re cheating. Something about this smells funny to me. Maybe she is crazy but I’m not quite believing you here, sorry. Maybe I’m wrong but.. i dunno. Good luck dude.