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Birth Date: 1995-07-13
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Date: September 30, 2022
He stated she was a gf not a wife. You comment makes me wonder though if she’s weaponizing sex as payback for not marrying her though. 8 years is a nice chunk of time to be with someone
And like a certain mod-post explained as well, “People posting on this sub will not usually do it because it is a small matter that is easily resolved with discourse. It has probably reached a point where it should end which is mirrored in the fact that it has made it to this sub. It may not be redditors are quick to press the breakup button, but that the sub is inundated with break-up worthy matters due to it's nature.”
Does not sound like she is mental stable enough for the relationship you want. That she can transfer so much onto you, is scary. It would be normal to have a bit of anxiety about you based on what happened to her friend. But in a normal person, it would be passing, and she would be anchored by your relationship. She is controlled by emotions and fears, that is not someone you want in your life.
Boy, you in danger! Seriously. Cancel the gym membership – even if it costs you money. If she’s building a case against you for stalking and harassment, you need to cut contact. Cancel the membership and block her from any forms of contact. Then find a therapist and delve into why you felt it necessary to try to continue this relationship. This shit was toxic. You get answers as to why it was toxic and you keep going. It’s like watching a train wreck over and over again. Stop.
Yes, that's a reason for a restraining order.
I’d hate for someone to come to me as I’m throwing up and would rarely consider going to someone who currently is. Maybe pop a glass of water in, shout asking if they’re okay, but that’s it. I consider it to be a fairly private thing. It’s not something I need help with or support, it’s just throwing up. It happens. Wouldn’t expect someone to hold my hand if I’m having violent diarrhoea so why would they be there with me throwing up.
He should probably have come after you didn’t respond to the name call, but I wouldn’t crucify him for it. You’ve expressed yourself and he felt bad for how he acted. Time to move on.
Why am I feeling in this way that I can't bring myself to break-up with her? It's a mystery for me because in the past I was able to do so easier than now…
Yes, it’s allows marital separation. I can separate BUT, if I do I have to immediately apply to live in the country permanently. I can’t do that because I’m 6/7 months away from being eligible to do that because I’m not from an EU country.
It’s weird..it places me in a somewhat catch 22
We need an update.
I have a question, and this is not meant to be snarky. It’s a legitimate question, coming from a guy not too much older than your boyfriend.
But why are your standards so low? You shouldn’t have to beg someone to spend time with you, or do the basics of being in a relationship. Your relationship should be a source of joy, not something you scratch and scrape to just get to the bare minimum.
This is truly not meant to be mean, but I think you should give yourself a reality check for where your self-esteem is at. You deserve better than this. I feel like you’re subconsciously engaging in this thing a lot of women do where they feel like it’s their job to fix the relationship.
It’s not. It takes two to fix the relationship and if he’s not doing his part, it’s just not fixable. And quite honestly if it’s going to take you nearly breaking up with a guy for him to make some changes, then I’m just going to tell it to you straight: he’s not that invested, he’s only changing to keep you around, and you’re going to be very disappointed with the outcome of the relationship, a few years down the road, when he feels like he has you locked in and he can really lower his standards.
Please please please from a guy who has seen this happened to women I deeply care about: stand up for yourself, and take the risk of being alone, rather than settling for a mediocre relationship. I wish you the best, truly. It sounds like you know what you need to do but you are scared. Have faith in yourself and take that step ❤️