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LittleMissLittleBit, y.o.
Location: United States
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Date: November 23, 2022
Nice way to avoid the issue.
But then, shouldn't you want her to stay? Cause if she leaves you and them, you'll have to find a new job close to home anyway. Or pay for a nanny and basically have a stranger raising your children.
I mean, if you can't make yourself love your wife enough to fight for her.
She made some mistakes, but nobody's perfect. If you want to be involved in your kid's life, you need to find a way to put this behind you.
Coming home drunk to a new mother who has been busy caring for a child isn't going to score you points.
Tell him to grow up, get over himself and stop trying to control you. If you’re “not allowed” a vibrator because “he should be enough for you”, then you should burn all that lingerie on a FaceTime call with him and tell him to get his head outta his ass or kick rocks. You’re so young, Baby girl. Don’t let a dumbass boy start treating you badly because it’ll never end. Save yourself before you need saving?
I think just by making this post, you know deep down you don't really want to be in this relationship anymore. You just need the reassurance that that's okay. And it is!! It sounds like you've been putting way more into this relationship than you've been getting out of it for a while now, and it's completely understandable that you're feeling done with it. Any guilt and hesitation you're feeling about ending things is doubtlessly coming from the fact that you know they've been using you as a crutch, emotionally and financially, and that you leaving them will be hard on them.
But that's not a reason to stick it out. Avoiding hurting your partner is just hurting yourself instead, and you deserve to feel happy and supported in your relationships too. It may even be the wake up call your partner needs to deal with their own problems too – they have no real motivation to change anything when they can rely on you to pay for everything and deal with all their volatility. You're right that continuing this relationship is bad for both of you. It'll be messy and difficult at first, especially for them, but I think you really need to just rip this bandaid off for both your sakes.
I wish you all the best with quitting!
I used to smoke it for years to deal with a lot of my problems, it made me feel really numb to life (in both a good way & a bad way) but those years were also some of the most unproductive of my entire life. When I quit, it took about a month for my brain chemistry to normalize but after that, I felt a lot more “present” (and this helped me to improve a lot of things in my life).
I get what you're saying. About the relationship thing, it's partly me feeling like I shouldn't pursue something with someone already involved with someone else but also I guess having a relationship isn't one of my top priorities right now (but it would be nice) if that makes sense. I know he doesn't owe me anything in terms of his private life but it would help if said a little more to set some boundaries in our relationship. I think my concern is mostly from the fact that he openly flirts with me and hints that he wants to pursue something while also being in a situationship and that's why I don't know why he'd be vague. Like I haven't dated in a while and I feel like actively trying to make a “real play” for someone in a situationship is wrong?? I hope this clarifies things
Options: Take the advice in the comments (become happier), or don’t take their advice (remain miserable).
Well clearly women just shouldn’t be sending pictures of themselves to a friend of the opposite sex to appease their overly controlling, paranoid boyfriends, right? Because God forbid he actually needs to put work in on his own insecurities when he can just take it out on her and make it her fault.
She did NOTHING wrong. Zip, zilch, nada. This is so far from inappropriate it’s laughable. OP has a serious imbalance if he’s getting so upset about such an innocuous photo.
What about your current boyfriend of a year….or?????
Right, I'm sure OP has a spare $500-$2K lying around where she can just go retain an attorney to help her with this.
I have a lot of guy friends, and most of them are not comfortable with other men. I’ve tried introducing them to each other and it’s always super awkward. it’s definitely a real thing.
Oh honey, you're not a monster.
You are burnt out. It's so normal to feel this way when you haven't had a break in years.
Things can't keep going the way they are going. You're going to break.
Who else does your wife have to lean on? What other people are in her life? You deserve rest. You deserve days off. You deserve to be able to be a partner, not just a care giver.
I know the fight feels impossible, but it will be worth the struggle to end up with help in the end. The hospital might be able to point you in the right direction.
Be kind to yourself, you're doing the best you can. No one is perfect.