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HELLO GUYS, WE ARE NEW HERE YOU LIKE TO HAVE FUN WITH US [89 tokens remaining]
Date: November 6, 2022
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Threatening suicide is an abuse tactic. Her mental health is not your responsibility. If she does it, that’s on her and her only.
This person is actively harming your self-confidence by negging you. Relationships shouldn’t be this hard. He’s being a jerk.
ok thx for the reply
You've only met the guy once, theres not much to lose!
Considering you agreed to not sleep with others unless you divorce then yes it’s cheating. Divorce and move on.
Thank you, it helps a lot to hear that. She's currently angry at me for “putting me through your BS” and it's really hard to tell up from down. I really care about her and I don't want to walk away but I don't know how to feel when she expects me to just be over this.
Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope.
Run.
It's an extremely classic case where it starts with throwing things and then blaming you for him reacting that way.
Next he'll be hitting you and you'll think it's you who made him behave that way.
Just no.
Don't let it progress.
“Suffering from success”
I’ve been a boyfriend who had to deal with my gf’s shitty parents before so I get setting boundaries. You’ve said that you really love your dad and he’s not a bad guy so I’d tell your boyfriend he’s gonna have to get over it or figure something else out.
He won’t change. Here’s how to decide if you stay or go. Is he a good enough partner that you would give up on marriage to stay with him?
You deserve better and you certainly are NOT worthless without her, but she’s treating you as if she thinks you’re worthless now.
Don’t be anyone’s little secret. Break up.
I'm glad I read the whole thing, I was getting heated thinking that your boyfriend maybe didnt stick up for you. Your boyfriend's mom sounds awful. If she thinks STEM degrees are targeted towards stupid people, then there's no pleasing her. Focus on yourself, focus on your grades, and how much you've learned. You can shove it in her face when she ends up being a lonely old ass bat.
As always, if need be seek therapy.
Well I mean… I don't know. I know teenagers are used to having sex pretty early nowadays. But I don't know, some people aren't ready that young. Personally, I'd be quite frustrated waiting that long, but looks like you've found her worth the wait.
Maybe just give her a timeline.
You will…I promise you you'll be happier. I deleted my comments out of shame. It a difficult conversation for me to open about.
Move on bud
I talked it out. She says dont leave and asked for another chance
Don't sign anything or acknowledge that the baby is yours until you get a peturnity test or you could be on the hook for child support for someone else's child.
Apparently it doesn’t keep either of them out of the dating pool
He still has his mental faculties, thank you for giving me the idea of thinking of questions to ask
Not being insensitive but is your house clean, organized etc? Do you have pets? Roommates?
You would think he might not be so quick to turn down all those weekly invites to the strip club from “his favorite sis.”
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I agree on the wait staff too. I've never been a server, but one of my criteria when I was dating was that the guy was kind to wait staff and tipped well. I kicked more than one date to the curb for disrespecting wait staff. The worst was a guy who snapped his finger at the waiter. I looked him in the eye and said 'that was a dick move', put my napkin on the table and walked out. Had to call a cab to get home, but it was worth it. The look on his face was priceless.
How can you be so sure? Should I send a follow-up message?
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Because he's lying about his intentions. He should handle his delusion like an adult.
Thank you so much! Happy holidays to you too!! Your username gave me a good laugh!
And that is why she brought it to him as well.
So, let me make sure I understand. You think that entering a kitchen, observing someone cooking, and then suggesting an alternative ingredient you’re a manipulator? And how did she play dumb?
The first off the cuff example I can come up with is a bit silly, but since we are talking about cooking I’ll go with it. My husband likes bold sloppy joe mix, I’ve always used the regular. Sometimes if he comes in and I’m making a quick dinner he’d suggest or ask about using the bold flavor. It’s really no big deal one way or the other to me, so I happily oblige. Are you saying he’s manipulating me? That he should shut it and be thankful if I cook dinner and I shouldn’t consider him at all?
How does he react when you talk about how emotional HE is?
I mean hormones are primarily responsible for tears, some people have higher doses of the one that triggers the tearing up effect. Not much you can do about that especially if you find it annoying yourself and would really prefer not to cry so much.
But him getting so angry over something you literally cannot help is worrying – one of you is emotionally unstable and I don’t think it’s you. .
Does your bf console you when they yell and berate you? He doesn't like it when they do it to him. Why should he think it's OK for his parents to do that to you?
So he asked you to cook him dinner that he didn't need (could have called you but didn't), came back with food that he wouldn't share, and makes you apologize? I get being disappointed that his sandwich got eaten, but he got it wrong every step of the way. Your mistake is small compared to his, don't let him turn this around on you. If he's like this often I'd suggest leaving. Getting super angry about stuff is one thing (that can be dealt with through anger management), getting very angry at you and shifting blame is another, that's quite more toxic.
This is literally a plot in War and Peace lol.
Make a plan!!
I seriously question his judgment … for even SAYING such a thing.
It's like the question, “If you could sleep with anyone without any consequences, who would it be?”
Wrong Answer: Your Brother / Sister
Right Answer: Chris Helmsworth / Scarlett Johanson
oh my fucking god, leave immediately. absolutely not. fuck that. this has to be fake but if it isn't for the love of fuck get the hell out.
Talk to I’m about it and if nothing changes then just leave him. Don’t resort to cheating when u can just break up with him and be with whoever you’d like.
Shocking!
First tackle the question of property ownership. Go to the county property appraiser’s website for where the land is. You can do a “Search Records”, “Sale Search” or “GIS Map”. Start with Search Records, if you don’t have enough information use the “GIS Map” search and find the location of the property and either one will give you the legal owner. That will tell you if your wife is lying to you to support and protect him behind your back.
If she owns it either leave her, my recommendation, or confront her and insist she sell it and get into therapy. The thing you need to understand is that the entire family is generationally sick. A child was raped by a parental figure and everyone was fine with it and hid it for years. They protect the child born of the molestation and no one blinks when he becomes a child molester and they still protect him. This is a never ending pattern unless you can get the family to break it. They don’t want to, they’re comfortable with it and actively support it.
Your the poor sane and rational outsider who sees it for what it is. Your wife would need years of therapy to ever break free. How much time do you want to spend in hell paying for SMF’s crimes? Are you also willing to lose everything, career, money, relationships and sanity to do it?
If only your Wife could see that her Sister and her Parents are so jealous of her, they can’t see straight. They are just such ordinary, flawed people, while your Wife is so unique.
Your Wife is not only brilliant and distinctively beautiful but she has the one thing her Parents will never understand and her Sister will never have, a truly honorable and loving Husband.
Her “Family” know they don’t measure up and are afraid they are about to be unmasked for being so ugly in their ordinariness.
You, two, are both Unicorns, who found each other to form an unbreakable bond. Stay strong together.
So.
limerance is usually a mental illness, or a symptom of one.
From what you've written, it's unlikely that he'll get any mental health help – and honestly, even if he does – you've already checked out.
See a lawyer, get the divorce, and be happy.
Yeah society has greatly benefit men like “astuteblackman” and done black men right. Society is catered towards me. Thank you for this great comment
He's so immature I wouldn't even let him have a sleepover.
You cannot marry him. Your time was not wasted, but you were lied to by the person you loved, and that’s incredibly painful. I’m sorry this happened to you, and that he wasn’t willing to be more open and honest with you up until yesterday.
Haha. Maybe that was silly on my part. But its Not only that. He was also flirting. Like sexual flirting.
OP's wife might be in menopause!
You got a better job, now you need a better boyfriend!
Hey, I was a personal trainer and have been working out for 15 years. 1-2 hours is not a “light workout” and sufficient time for someone to get a full workout with cardio as long as they aren’t wasting time.
Even athletes on PEDs aren’t working out 6 hours a day because you just don’t need that much time.
It very much sounds like your wife has something psychological and serious going on and she needs to see a professional before she gets seriously hurt.
You need to keep going to therapy and work on yourself. Your GF is controlling and abusive. Leave her.
You mean back when women were seen more as property than people?
Sure. But at 18 I knew better than to date a 15 year old. Why didn’t he?
This is massively inappropriate, and I'm saying this as someone who was in a very abusive relationship.
What she can and should do, in any relationship (not specifically about you), is (a) run a background check and (b) go to personal therapy if she is having doubts to work through her issues.
You CAN divorce her!! Let her do whatever she thinks she can do to you. I guarantee you, you will feel better living under a bridge in a cardboard box than with this narcissistic sl*t.
Yikes. I mean, kids need to adjust to different situations, and this is a big life change but if I'm the single mom of a young daughter and my daughter doesn't want to be left alone with or touched by my fiance, red flag. I don't know what I'd do in this situation, though. Except I guess at the very least I'd watch things very closely.
Info: to date, how many times have you used a silica gel pack from your supply?
Your being gaslit which is emotional abuse
Repeating the sins of the father/mother is very common. Childhood is like training camp and we learn best what we experience. You should commend yourself for recognizing the problem. But, overly critical thoughts of occasional slips aren't helpful. You should stay in therapy. It will help, but it's a very slow process. Sometimes brain chemistry needs attention, so physical health becomes more important. You need to get 20 minutes of aerobic exercise every day, eat a balanced diet, consider food supplements. GABA is an essential brain food that can be bought at a health food store. Our bodies produce it, but usually not enough. Last but not least, the gut bacteria for most people is poor to nonexistent. Recent studies have shown that poor gut bacteria health leads to mental health issues, cancer, etc. Take a prebiotic/probiotic. Hope this helps. Be happy.
Have you guys ever discussed letting the other know this kind of stuff?
He won’t change. I dated two guys exactly like them. They never change until you threaten to leave but then it only lasts a couple months
No you're not. He's definitely got an unhealthy relationship with food.
One of your children is heavily affected by him, she is already at the start of an eating disorder.
What you want to do is right. Your children shouldn't be denied eating normal foods.
No you're not. He's definitely got an unhealthy relationship with food.
One of your children is heavily affected by him, she is already at the start of an eating disorder.
What you want to do is right. Your children shouldn't be denied eating normal foods.
I agree with you. He is a rapist and a violent criminal.
No you're not. He's definitely got an unhealthy relationship with food.
One of your children is heavily affected by him, she is already at the start of an eating disorder.
What you want to do is right. Your children shouldn't be denied eating normal foods.
I would find it annoying personally if there was a shared item put out and my partner just grabbed all of it instantly without leaving any for me. “I'll eat with as much ketchup as I want” sure do whatever you want but you were sharing the ketchup? So a little consideration is warranted. Or even a word like “hey babe I'm gonna hoover this ketchup up completely, lemme make a separate pile for myself”. He seems to have reacted strongly and you dug your heels in defensively and then it became a power struggle. Probably there's an unresolved tension between the two of you that this triggered.
Do you feel like that around him or only after you sat goodbye
This doesn't sound like a healthy relationship.
When the lying begins, the infidelity is there.
My partner and I make almost the same and even we don't do 50/50, we do % of monthly take home.
So if your take home is $2k and his is $6k (for example) then combined you bring home $8k and it would be a 25/75 split.
How do you rebuild a relationship? You go back in time and don't marry someone the same age as her. Creep.
We both were going to have sex with him
Yep. So many women have been told nasty things, have been assaulted, or worse.
What is his excuse for not wanting to get married?
OH BAHHA JUST GOT IT
If the details are relevant, but that isn’t imho.
I don’t even have anything helpful to say about whether she’s trustworthy or should say something about staying in contact with her ex, I just want to add my useless comment that I think people who break up but still “share custody” of pets are some of the dumbest people alive.
Don’t have bad sex in your youth . This is prime time for you.
I understand your sentiment but you cant state as a fact that “little porn here and there” should be okay for everyone. Because for some it isnt.
And?
No request for advice in there r/rant mabye? did you need advice on something?
Anybody who isn’t a total moron can see that this is exactly the case. Her friends are all single and therefore will likely want to do single people things whereas OP is the only person in a relationship and will therefore be put in a situation where she’s tempted to cheat.
Bro what the actual fuck this wasn’t a threesome.
You just fucked another girl while your girlfriend is sleeping, holy fuck
You don't mention if you know who your brother has chosen as his best man – has he definitely picked someone else?
There's a trend sometimes of not having best men or maids of honour if the bride and groom have a lot of close friends/family and don't want anyone to feel slighted, so they just have groomsmen and bridesmaids. Could that be what's happening?
How is he financially irresponsible if he still saved 150k by 30. By the sounds of it he just didn't want to look at every penny and forego every enjoyment in life just to speedrun buying the house.
He was wrong for not making it clear that 300k isn't just his though.
Its what u said, he was counting a loan from his brother like it is his money.
There are exceptions, endless examples of devotion by both sexes … but the reality is that men are less likely to adhere to an ill mate than women are. As I said … there are endless examples of men that are exceptions to the trend. All are deserving of respect and admiration which I have for them. The same respect and admiration is due anyone that cares for the health and well being of another.