What the heck is up with all of these married 22hear olds?! Who takes Jr high/High school relationships so seriously? What ever happened to getting a life before getting married? I always thought 25 was young to marry. What gives?!
She’s exposing herself in a highly sexual way to a lot of people. Your friends and family can see it and she doesn’t care at all… she doesn’t care that it makes uncomfortable – as it would anyone else’s – and she refused to acknowledge that it’s so bad that even her athletics coach is advising her it’s in poor taste. I’d have a sharp conversation with her and if she doesn’t concede then I’d end it ASAP. She belongs to the streets
Look, it speaks volumes if your boyfriend actually WANTS to go on this trip. If he actually despised them and valued you, he wouldn't. It's really as simple as that.
This seems a bit shady. I’ve been with my bf for 10+ years but I still talk to/text my ex now + then. Mostly on holidays or his birthday but sometimes just to see how he’s doing. My bf knows this though. My ex’s name is in my phone as his actual name + even has a picture. My bf also can (but doesn’t) access my phone + everything in it any time he wants. He just doesn’t feel the need to. The couple times I’ve seen my ex (I still consider him a friend + he’s also friends with my Dad) I’ve told my bf about. Hiding that kinda stuff just breeds doubt + insecurity in the other person.
It sounds like she wasn’t ready to be in a relationship and chose to be in one anyway, despite needing to heal from her past. It is not and never was your responsibility to heal her. And you did nothing wrong by breaking up with her.
Breakups are normal, and it sounds like you breaking up with her is fully justified. Life is too short to be in a situation you’re unhappy in. Plus, you two were not together for long at all. There’s nothing wrong with cutting your losses and being honest with her. It would be unfair for you to continue the relationship with her if you knew it wasn’t working. You did the right thing, op. Don’t worry about it!
Listen, when I started sleeping with my boyfriend I thought we were just gonna fuck and maybe chill and play darts and get wings after. I came to realize how wrong I was; thankfully I was lucky enough not to have said something stupid like this to somebody that might come back to bite me later. Seeing as your fiancé was only 19, it’s not shocking to me that he did. It sounds like he really loves you. Why would you blow things up over something he said that long ago, and may not have even meant back then?
If it bothers you that much explain how much it’s hurting your feelings and that you’d like some security in your feelings. Let him say he’s sorry and that he loves you, and let this one go.
Yeah I didn't put it in the post but that's what I had the worst problem with tbh, that felt especially gross. He said it's something that many guys do and regrets it and apologized to me before going and individually apologizing to both the people who's photos he saved, but maintains that it's something most guys he knows does and is normal even if it's distasteful.
Is it that bad that the mom is worried? She even said she is staying in a separate room or hotel. Why make such a big deal out of it, sounds like the mother is concerned but still respects them as a couple, and their trip. Nothing wrong here, I get OP cried and everything she is still a kid but come on.
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Why are you blaming your wife when you are the asshole here?
What adult grown ass man doesn't buy a gift for their own kid for +2 years for fear of what their wife will think? Are you fucking kidding me????
This is what happens when you date someone 10 years young and who is 23 years old. She was at a very different stage in her life, barely an adult, and you thought she would be find with playing the step-mom sort of role? I'm sure there were other red flags before that you ignore. Also, when you first met, all of the girls were very small, while now, the two are teenagers (or almost), so that's very different.
On top of that, your wife is rude to your daughter and doesn't talk to her, and you let that happen?
By the way, I don't think your wife has to help you with your kids activities, that's between you and your kid's mom. If you were able to do it alone before, you can do it now and I don't think your wife has to be driving her or doing whatever is that you think she should be doing. That said, all of the rest is your own mess, because as long as you are using your own money and not putting your household in financial problems, paying for piano and child support and anything else your kid needs is reasonable.
I think overall you are a shit dad, though. Who the fuck doesn't buy gifts and lets their kid being treated like crap?
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Gosh, I feel you are giving really sound advice. Thanks for being kind despite my rash decision.
And you have no idea how happy I am that people like my ex exist. Even if we don't get back together, I'm certain he will find someone else and be an absolute star for them. ?
And then they stand there all fuzzy because gosh he thinks I'm so mature. But it will only seem like a compliment to someone who's not fully grown like kids and very young adults like OP
A woman just 5 years older would never be over the moon if someone told her how mature she seemed, she would most likely just think that it was an odd thing to say. .
Few people could be happy like that, so I don’t blame her for not being cool with only staying at home. Or not being able to talk about issues, that’s unacceptable.
It’s her job to listen, and act in her best interests.
You can’t help her, because the only person holding her back from being happy is her until she leaves this relationship that will never be anything she wants.
So as soon as the money stopped coming in you suddenly “realized” he's not everything you thought he would be? Lmao. I think that says more about you OP than it does him.
I suspect that should he go back to providing generously you'll be willing to forget his “Transgressions” and conveniently forget this post too. Lol
If he’s suddenly and desperately urgently needing to piss frequently, he needs to get his prostrate checked asap. I’m not being funny, that’s a symptom of serious issues.
You stop doing everything. Manage your own time. Manage your own money. Stop helping him. Stop working the extra jobs and relax in the evening. He's a grown up, let him feed himself. If all of that sound too much like a recipe for conflict, dump him now because he isn't going to change.
God. Call him out when he does it. Tell him just because you have a good memory doesn't mean your mind is a computer or that everything is worth committing to memory. And tell him to stop quizzing you. Speak up.
I hope you're talking to local men to date in person, if you're in the market for a boyfriend.
Statistically, not waiting until both partners are 25 basically doubles the chances of a marriage ending up in divorce. OP has only been with this guy since she was 21. She can’t have that much relationship experience to begin with, and she’s doing herself a disservice by getting married before they’ve been together longer—and preferably lived together a while. She doesn’t actually say if they’re already living together or not.
Yeah, popping up in a supermarket and simply basketing a child ?
I was satisfied because she made me feel wanted to be honest and we had it more frequently, I felt as if I wanted a little more sometimes but it was still great in my opinion.
She was about a month in her pregnancy.
I haven’t asked her this the exact way You worded it but the concept was broadly same. We talked it about a month or two ago and she said she feels as if it’s been going great.
Thank you and don’t worry about ”jumping on me”, I totally understand where you are coming from and don’t worry.
We just talked for 40 minutes or so on the phone. He called because he said he ”couldn’t stand the idea of me being sad” which was kind of sweet and then we tried to talk it out.
Essentially, he said that he wants to be there for me, but the issue is that I am often both sad AND angry at the same time. So basically I am sad while simultaneously giving criticism. He wants to be there, but it feels completely wrong to be there for me and hug and support me while I am ”giving him shit” and ”being mean”.
It seems he is very sensitive to criticism/perceived criticism and I am honestly a bit blunt sometimes and not really careful with delivering criticism. Perfect match… We tried to talk about wheter I should compromise by not being angry when sad so that he can actually comfort me so that I don’t feel neglected, or if he could not be so offended by my criticism. Problem is that neither of us wants to compromise on that end (I don’t know who should even compromise here).
So basically we are at a dead end here. It feels like there is no way to leave this cycle without completely changing us as people. I wish there was a solution. I really, really don’t want to lose him
Wedgies, play fighting, that shit is for fun. Those are funny acts. Hickeys/any type of neck sucking are sexual acts. Ridiculous to put them in the same category. Imagine a bunch of boys in the locker room after practice go from messing around, slapping each other with towels, to pinning someone down and sucking on their effing neck. Not normal in any context. I feel gross even commenting in this thread.
Wedgies, play fighting, that shit is for fun. Those are funny acts. Hickeys/any type of neck sucking are sexual acts. Ridiculous to put them in the same category. Imagine a bunch of boys in the locker room after practice go from messing around, slapping each other with towels, to pinning someone down and sucking on their effing neck. Not normal in any context. I feel gross even commenting in this thread.
My step dad used to always think interviews went well but was never hired. I think the same thing that lets one accurate gauge ones performance in a situation is the same thing that would instill the humility to know that a tantrum is not appropriate
Same town first makes sense before moving in together. If your relationship is completely long distance the reality is you don’t actually really know each other that well.
You showed a complete lack to respect towards both this woman and your wife. Jacking off in this woman’s place of work takes it to an entirely different level. Your wife is right to be upset with you. You behaved in a grossly inappropriate manner here. I promise you the waxer was not casually smiling at your erection. She was like worried about what you’d do next and just wanted you out of there. My friend has experienced this. She said men can get really aggressive. Again, you behaved in a grossly inappropriate manner and jacking off in a place of business is never acceptable. What is wrong with you?
Hey OP, I'll point out this slightly overlooked tidbit: What you did at your father's wedding was asinine, but not surprising for a 15 year old going through a parents remarriage. Your dad and his wife had a right to be passed off, but you were a kid, who is not legally recognized as an adult because you don't fully understand how to act at that age. Your step mother has no such excuse as a 50+ adult attending an adult child's wedding. She knows better, she has had years to come to terms and forgive what you did all that time ago. She instead decided to be petty and vindictive. She tried to ruin your day out of spite, and I'm glad you didn't let her.
She has no excuses as an an individual old enough to be your parent. She is held to higher standard than a child, and if your father wants to make this his hill to die on, he shows you that your relationship with him doesn't hold any real weight in his life. Sorry OP, but dump both of them and live a happier life. You deserve it.
Im going back today to take my documents, im currently still studying so idk when i should move out. My SO loves the idea of me moving in but I have yet to ask his family. I'll try to do some research and gather money before officially moving out. Thanks 🙂
She does not like caring for three children all day and then going to work until 1am. She does not like missing every Saturday with her family and friends.
She doesn't want to stop working because apparently her husband makes her pay her own bills.
She does not like caring for three children all day and then going to work until 1am. She does not like missing every Saturday with her family and friends.
She doesn't want to stop working because apparently her husband makes her pay her own bills.
Lol girl, tell him you only struggle with orgasms because he sucks in bed and then dump him. He can go and be correct alone in his room. Why would you be with someone who intentionally insults you?
I remember vaguely (thanks alcohol), just what you would expect “dude, wtf”
What the heck is up with all of these married 22hear olds?! Who takes Jr high/High school relationships so seriously? What ever happened to getting a life before getting married? I always thought 25 was young to marry. What gives?!
MAJOR RED FLAGS!!
She’s exposing herself in a highly sexual way to a lot of people. Your friends and family can see it and she doesn’t care at all… she doesn’t care that it makes uncomfortable – as it would anyone else’s – and she refused to acknowledge that it’s so bad that even her athletics coach is advising her it’s in poor taste. I’d have a sharp conversation with her and if she doesn’t concede then I’d end it ASAP. She belongs to the streets
Look, it speaks volumes if your boyfriend actually WANTS to go on this trip. If he actually despised them and valued you, he wouldn't. It's really as simple as that.
This seems a bit shady. I’ve been with my bf for 10+ years but I still talk to/text my ex now + then. Mostly on holidays or his birthday but sometimes just to see how he’s doing. My bf knows this though. My ex’s name is in my phone as his actual name + even has a picture. My bf also can (but doesn’t) access my phone + everything in it any time he wants. He just doesn’t feel the need to. The couple times I’ve seen my ex (I still consider him a friend + he’s also friends with my Dad) I’ve told my bf about. Hiding that kinda stuff just breeds doubt + insecurity in the other person.
He might have tested a high(er) IQ but he's got the emotional intelligence of broccoli. Dump him, you can do a lot better.
It sounds like she wasn’t ready to be in a relationship and chose to be in one anyway, despite needing to heal from her past. It is not and never was your responsibility to heal her. And you did nothing wrong by breaking up with her.
Breakups are normal, and it sounds like you breaking up with her is fully justified. Life is too short to be in a situation you’re unhappy in. Plus, you two were not together for long at all. There’s nothing wrong with cutting your losses and being honest with her. It would be unfair for you to continue the relationship with her if you knew it wasn’t working. You did the right thing, op. Don’t worry about it!
LOL wow, she took it to the extreme. that's like Charlotte from sex in the city, the rabbit episode ?
Question do men feel threatened by vibrators
How to break up with someone you love ?
Red flags red flags red flags.
Can you accept your future with a sex worker?
If not, you get your answer.
Listen, when I started sleeping with my boyfriend I thought we were just gonna fuck and maybe chill and play darts and get wings after. I came to realize how wrong I was; thankfully I was lucky enough not to have said something stupid like this to somebody that might come back to bite me later. Seeing as your fiancé was only 19, it’s not shocking to me that he did. It sounds like he really loves you. Why would you blow things up over something he said that long ago, and may not have even meant back then?
If it bothers you that much explain how much it’s hurting your feelings and that you’d like some security in your feelings. Let him say he’s sorry and that he loves you, and let this one go.
Yeah I didn't put it in the post but that's what I had the worst problem with tbh, that felt especially gross. He said it's something that many guys do and regrets it and apologized to me before going and individually apologizing to both the people who's photos he saved, but maintains that it's something most guys he knows does and is normal even if it's distasteful.
She’s not a great person and you won’t figure things out. This will bother you forever, so it’s better you learn that now. Move on.
Ummm. Maybe get over it? It’s not like she didn’t exists before she met you…
Is it that bad that the mom is worried? She even said she is staying in a separate room or hotel. Why make such a big deal out of it, sounds like the mother is concerned but still respects them as a couple, and their trip. Nothing wrong here, I get OP cried and everything she is still a kid but come on.
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Why are you blaming your wife when you are the asshole here?
What adult grown ass man doesn't buy a gift for their own kid for +2 years for fear of what their wife will think? Are you fucking kidding me????
This is what happens when you date someone 10 years young and who is 23 years old. She was at a very different stage in her life, barely an adult, and you thought she would be find with playing the step-mom sort of role? I'm sure there were other red flags before that you ignore. Also, when you first met, all of the girls were very small, while now, the two are teenagers (or almost), so that's very different.
On top of that, your wife is rude to your daughter and doesn't talk to her, and you let that happen?
By the way, I don't think your wife has to help you with your kids activities, that's between you and your kid's mom. If you were able to do it alone before, you can do it now and I don't think your wife has to be driving her or doing whatever is that you think she should be doing. That said, all of the rest is your own mess, because as long as you are using your own money and not putting your household in financial problems, paying for piano and child support and anything else your kid needs is reasonable.
I think overall you are a shit dad, though. Who the fuck doesn't buy gifts and lets their kid being treated like crap?
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If you don’t want people to think this idiocy is representative of you, don’t throw in how you’re certain you got an STD from a toilet seat ?
You have the right to feel angry. He has the right to feel angry. He does not have the right to physically abuse your dog because he feels angry.
If that by itself is not bad enough for you, know that he will treat YOU like that when YOU make him angry.
Gosh, I feel you are giving really sound advice. Thanks for being kind despite my rash decision.
And you have no idea how happy I am that people like my ex exist. Even if we don't get back together, I'm certain he will find someone else and be an absolute star for them. ?
And then they stand there all fuzzy because gosh he thinks I'm so mature. But it will only seem like a compliment to someone who's not fully grown like kids and very young adults like OP
A woman just 5 years older would never be over the moon if someone told her how mature she seemed, she would most likely just think that it was an odd thing to say. .
You're the worst kind of human.
She is in a way.
He has stated over and over this is all he wants.
Few people could be happy like that, so I don’t blame her for not being cool with only staying at home. Or not being able to talk about issues, that’s unacceptable.
It’s her job to listen, and act in her best interests.
You can’t help her, because the only person holding her back from being happy is her until she leaves this relationship that will never be anything she wants.
So as soon as the money stopped coming in you suddenly “realized” he's not everything you thought he would be? Lmao. I think that says more about you OP than it does him.
I suspect that should he go back to providing generously you'll be willing to forget his “Transgressions” and conveniently forget this post too. Lol
You are definitely not crazy. People in healthy relationships don’t lie about where they are going and who they’re with.
If he’s suddenly and desperately urgently needing to piss frequently, he needs to get his prostrate checked asap. I’m not being funny, that’s a symptom of serious issues.
Otherwise that’s unforgivably gross!
You stop doing everything. Manage your own time. Manage your own money. Stop helping him. Stop working the extra jobs and relax in the evening. He's a grown up, let him feed himself. If all of that sound too much like a recipe for conflict, dump him now because he isn't going to change.
He's acting shifty as. Why stay with someone you can't trust. Who is not trustworthy?
God. Call him out when he does it. Tell him just because you have a good memory doesn't mean your mind is a computer or that everything is worth committing to memory. And tell him to stop quizzing you. Speak up.
I hope you're talking to local men to date in person, if you're in the market for a boyfriend.
Statistically, not waiting until both partners are 25 basically doubles the chances of a marriage ending up in divorce. OP has only been with this guy since she was 21. She can’t have that much relationship experience to begin with, and she’s doing herself a disservice by getting married before they’ve been together longer—and preferably lived together a while. She doesn’t actually say if they’re already living together or not.
You are not Rachel and this time a not a sitcom. You’re in a toxic cycle, no laugh reel.
What kind of advice are you looking for? To my mind, your wife's behaviour is unreasonable and unacceptable.
What specifically are you addressing in therapy, and why don't you think it will make any change?
Suggest wife change jobs to one with a better work environment.
Suggest wife start therapy for her issues
I know this I would never want to hurt him :/
Why would I lie about this? What would be the point of coming to this thread to lie if the medicine didn’t work lmfao
My mum worked with the guy lmao and my older brother is friends with him. And they both like him, they dont know abt us tho
Yeah, popping up in a supermarket and simply basketing a child ?
I was satisfied because she made me feel wanted to be honest and we had it more frequently, I felt as if I wanted a little more sometimes but it was still great in my opinion.
She was about a month in her pregnancy.
I haven’t asked her this the exact way You worded it but the concept was broadly same. We talked it about a month or two ago and she said she feels as if it’s been going great.
Thank you and don’t worry about ”jumping on me”, I totally understand where you are coming from and don’t worry.
We just talked for 40 minutes or so on the phone. He called because he said he ”couldn’t stand the idea of me being sad” which was kind of sweet and then we tried to talk it out.
Essentially, he said that he wants to be there for me, but the issue is that I am often both sad AND angry at the same time. So basically I am sad while simultaneously giving criticism. He wants to be there, but it feels completely wrong to be there for me and hug and support me while I am ”giving him shit” and ”being mean”.
It seems he is very sensitive to criticism/perceived criticism and I am honestly a bit blunt sometimes and not really careful with delivering criticism. Perfect match… We tried to talk about wheter I should compromise by not being angry when sad so that he can actually comfort me so that I don’t feel neglected, or if he could not be so offended by my criticism. Problem is that neither of us wants to compromise on that end (I don’t know who should even compromise here).
So basically we are at a dead end here. It feels like there is no way to leave this cycle without completely changing us as people. I wish there was a solution. I really, really don’t want to lose him
He's letting you know who is and what he'll expect.
Get out now.
Wedgies, play fighting, that shit is for fun. Those are funny acts. Hickeys/any type of neck sucking are sexual acts. Ridiculous to put them in the same category. Imagine a bunch of boys in the locker room after practice go from messing around, slapping each other with towels, to pinning someone down and sucking on their effing neck. Not normal in any context. I feel gross even commenting in this thread.
Wedgies, play fighting, that shit is for fun. Those are funny acts. Hickeys/any type of neck sucking are sexual acts. Ridiculous to put them in the same category. Imagine a bunch of boys in the locker room after practice go from messing around, slapping each other with towels, to pinning someone down and sucking on their effing neck. Not normal in any context. I feel gross even commenting in this thread.
My step dad used to always think interviews went well but was never hired. I think the same thing that lets one accurate gauge ones performance in a situation is the same thing that would instill the humility to know that a tantrum is not appropriate
He is cheating hun. That’s the answer. Dump him. He is obviously doing this on purpose.
So guilty until proven innocent?
I'll be honest that amongst pregnancy hormones it is very difficult to look at the situation rationally
Same town first makes sense before moving in together. If your relationship is completely long distance the reality is you don’t actually really know each other that well.
You showed a complete lack to respect towards both this woman and your wife. Jacking off in this woman’s place of work takes it to an entirely different level. Your wife is right to be upset with you. You behaved in a grossly inappropriate manner here. I promise you the waxer was not casually smiling at your erection. She was like worried about what you’d do next and just wanted you out of there. My friend has experienced this. She said men can get really aggressive. Again, you behaved in a grossly inappropriate manner and jacking off in a place of business is never acceptable. What is wrong with you?
Hey OP, I'll point out this slightly overlooked tidbit: What you did at your father's wedding was asinine, but not surprising for a 15 year old going through a parents remarriage. Your dad and his wife had a right to be passed off, but you were a kid, who is not legally recognized as an adult because you don't fully understand how to act at that age. Your step mother has no such excuse as a 50+ adult attending an adult child's wedding. She knows better, she has had years to come to terms and forgive what you did all that time ago. She instead decided to be petty and vindictive. She tried to ruin your day out of spite, and I'm glad you didn't let her.
She has no excuses as an an individual old enough to be your parent. She is held to higher standard than a child, and if your father wants to make this his hill to die on, he shows you that your relationship with him doesn't hold any real weight in his life. Sorry OP, but dump both of them and live a happier life. You deserve it.
This is helpful input, thanks so much for your energy and time.
Im going back today to take my documents, im currently still studying so idk when i should move out. My SO loves the idea of me moving in but I have yet to ask his family. I'll try to do some research and gather money before officially moving out. Thanks 🙂
Bullshit.
She does not like caring for three children all day and then going to work until 1am. She does not like missing every Saturday with her family and friends.
She doesn't want to stop working because apparently her husband makes her pay her own bills.
Bullshit.
She does not like caring for three children all day and then going to work until 1am. She does not like missing every Saturday with her family and friends.
She doesn't want to stop working because apparently her husband makes her pay her own bills.
Sounds like shes done nothing thus far with either
Lol girl, tell him you only struggle with orgasms because he sucks in bed and then dump him. He can go and be correct alone in his room. Why would you be with someone who intentionally insults you?