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Date: October 2, 2022
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you’re probably right. she told me she wants to take things slower and when i saw her last night she was still affectionate with me, so maybe i need to slow down. i appreciate your help, i never really thought of it from that perspective
I needed to read this right now. Definitely need to read this.
Humm okay so the issue is specifically holidays and birthdays?
How was it handled in his family growing up? Was it something that wasn't really practiced? Or maybe gifts weren't something given much?
Regardless though, you made it clear how you feel and he obviously doesn't care enough to put in the effort. I guess it's up to you if you're okay with always giving more than you'll receive.
People generally don't change. No matter how much you want them to. It's up to him if he feels it's important enough to make you a priority when it comes to things like this. Nothing you do yourself will be a permanent solution to change his actions within this relationship.
Well I feel like her boyfriend means, if he goes to India he should be better married by then as his family is expecting him to be married by then.
So maybe he meant if this relationship works out both of you will go together as a married couple.
no worries and sorry its so hard to follow i just kept writing until i was done.
i dont know if u read the last parts… the text message… does he seem at all interested then? i dont know i hate this
She initiated it – she may just have caught you at a bad moment. But there is something not right her – you have strong sexual urges and yet are not in a relationship where sex is happening much at all – perhaps there is just not that attraction between you ? You don’t say anything about the rest of your relationship and how that is. Sex may not be the most important thing but it is a glue in a relationship and if you are being diverted to porn and looking at other women then these seem warning signs for your future together .
You shouldn’t worry about being physically assaulted and strangled by anyone especially your family. Doesn’t matter if you were being rude (which you weren’t).
Further more your parents are abusive and protecting and enabling your sister and ultimately enabling your abuse. You should seriously considering cutting contact and discussing these events with your therapist
I wouldn't want to be in a relationship where my wife doesn't find me attractive
What you do is… hold your head high and get the hell out and move on with someone that will be everything you need. Its all about choices. He has no good redeeming qualities, he lacks any character.
Would a 34-year-old man wear a non-wedding ring on his ring finger?
No lol this dudes definitely married
No they weren’t a minor they were about 23-24, I will add that in though.
This is the real answer.
He has not changed, please don't bring a kid into this relationship, it doesn't deserve to see it's mother being battered by a scumbag. It's not too late to turn to your family and friends, he just wants you to believe you're alone without him. Stick to your plan and get out.
i’d love to know how it turns out. hopefully his ass wakes up and steps up for you and your baby
If your son survives the multiple rounds of miracle shots the CDC cannot prove actually works since they can't prove that it prevents the infection or lessens its severity, then why does it matter if your father is vaxxed? If you, your wife, or your son contracts it and gives HIM the infection HE is the one at risk. People who have gotten the jab, even all boosters, have STILL contracted the virus. My father who is in his 70's did get the shots…and still got the infection and a year later still has side effects. MEANING the vax and boosters are useless. I did not get the shots, but I also contracted the virus before the global panic shutdown happened and before the vaccine was even created. I have been exposed REPEATEDLY to other people who have been tested positive and had symptoms. I have not contracted it ever again. Blood banks actually WANT my blood because I never got the shot and have developed strong antibodies against the virus.
So…if you are vaxxed, your wife is vaxxed, and your son is vaxxed, where is the risk since vaxxed people can STILL contract it AND transmit it to others? I personally know too many people who have experienced PERMANENT side effects of getting the vaccine and NOT the virus, so I will never get the vaccine. Ten years from now, billboards will be everywhere with “did you or a loved one suffer side effects or death from the vaccine? You may be entitled to compensation!” If my kids went on a rant about “get vaxxed or never see your grandkids”, I would just tell them “I guess I have no grandchildren”. But that's just me.
I will say this…good job for standing at your wife's side and respecting her wishes as your wife and child's mother. It doesn't matter if she is right or wrong, standing together is what you should do…but also expect there to be consequences from your father.
Please tell me how exactly am I assaulting her? She initiated these just as much as I do and we back off as soon as she says let’s not continue, and we don’t go any further than making out. I don’t hold the same religious guilt she does, but we both get passionate and it’s not one sided
Why do people put up with this? How does a guy like this get a gf?
The bar is actually on the ground expectation wise. You really can’t go much lower. Any reason why you’re willing to settle for virtually zero effort and no ambition in a partner?
There are two completely different issues going on here, and I think you need to separate them before you make a decision.
The first one: your dad messed up, may have cheated on his wife (not sure there as you didn’t mention if he was married at the time of your sister’s conception), and chose to not have a relationship with the child and her mother. Your mom has every right to be upset with him, as she is a victim to his deceit as well, more so than you actually.
The second one: your own relationship with your parents. This situation may have opened your eyes to things, but chances are if it wasn’t this incident that did it, something else would have in the future. If you truly feel that going no contact with them will improve your life, mentally and spiritually, then you have to do what you must. If you’re just mad about the sister thing, take a step back before making a decision, as something like that may not be able to be reversed if you change your mind later.
Get some of your own.
Nah, she doesn't love him. See it this way; OP makes good money, has a stable job and life, and he is also a very attentive and a caring partner.
He is the perfect option to settle down and have children. However, that is not love, but pure convenience… Why does she still comparing him with his previous partners? Gaslighting him into believe that “it will change” once they get married? If they do, in less than one year we will see his post on r/dead bedroom
So basically you want support from reddit and as they tell you their opinions you keep defending his selfish behavior… I guess the support your looking for is, enjoy your wedding? I bet your going to have to put on the “I'm a good girl” happy face and accept marrying his 'friend' along with him since your literally ignoring the big red elephant in the room that is your soon to be husband…. I guess have fun swallowing unhappy pills dealing with that now.
Contact the blackmailer and go halves in the ransom to make up for your lost time.
Well you have to deal with everything, but if you are living with a long term partner, they are suppose to deal with it with you.
And yes, its more than you should carry. Probably need to have a come to Jesus conversation with him
Problem is sexes are swapped here.
The fact it can be ruined by him knowing the truth means they're not happy, it's false. If he's still happy when he knows she's a cheater then that's good for them, but he deserves to know the whole truth before making that decision.
Did you talk to the cops, and get some advice on it? Cause I'm pretty sure it's illegal in the UK too
I'm thinking this whole story feels fake as fuck, outrage bait in the most obvious way. “Her best friend thinks I'm just too handsome and wealthy for her, she offered to come over and 'support' me but I so kindly and chivalrously declined, now time for my very old, very expensive bottle of whiskey to drown my sorrows in at 25 years of age.”
She is a horrible person. Never see her; never speak to her again. Therapy can help a lot. I highly recommend therapy to help after a traumatic experience.
Moving forward is not easy but the alternative is worse. Best of luck to you.
OP I'm so sorry you're going through this ? . I'm so angry for you.
You should really understand his disability more. It sounds like you have no idea the type of person you are dealing with.
She is 100% an alcoholic. If you stay together, I recommend her stopping drinking and attending AA meetings be a must. And you can attend Al-anon for support. You can connect with other friends and family of alcoholics there and get yourself help.
Also get both of you tested for sexual diseases. Make sure she hasn't infected you from her sexual assaults.
Finally, if this is too much it is ok for you to move on. She'll need to face the consequences of her drinking.
John, may I call you John? I say this as a Black woman and with love, your girlfriend is a controlling, racist nut case. You’re 20 years old. There are plenty more non-racist fish in the sea.
What magic switch do you think is going to go once you're married that will stop him wanting to sleep with other women?
This gets posted a few times a week and makes me lol every time
You seem to be projecting a lot.
How would you know their reasoning and why would you assume that all these individuals are the same?
Ask if you can join?
Holy shit. ???
In other news, I’m telling you as a cat owner if that woman didn’t notice it’s a different cat then she really doesn’t care about her pet all that much. I could be crazy, I’ve never had anyone pull the ol switcheroo with my cat, but I’d know it wasn’t her. Other than having very distinct markings, I’ll just say this. If that cat didn’t love red cat toys and have a specific meow when she is about to barf I’d know in a heartbeat. I’d also know when she didn’t knock over only my cup of water/drink from night before if her food was empty at breakfast time. I’d also know if I unplugged my auto feeder and she didn’t have a panic attack walking on top of me at 3 am realizing her breakfast ain’t coming out of that machine in the morning if she doesn’t alert the “thumb having bitch” (spoiler: that’s me. I’m the thumb having bitch.) I digress, but you see my point right? My cat is a bitch of a heffer and I love her so much ill probably have to take bereavement leave when she passes.
?? If she didn’t notice after six years she really didn’t know her cat at all. ??????
Honestly?
The down-payment is irrelevant unless it's a substantial amount (for example more than 10% of the value of the property). If that's the case here, then you need a prenuptial agreement. If not, please realise that she's probably going to significantly out-earn you and that a 50/50 split is the best possible outcome for you.
She's not after 50/50 for everything you own but she's right when she wants to have equal equity in a property you're buying together.