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  1. Please give yourself a break. This isn’t all your fault. You two are having REALLY normal new parent issues. They can totally be fixed if you’re both willing to put in the effort.

    There are kind of two different things here that should probably get uncoupled: sex and intimacy. How often do you and your husband have intimacy without sex? Do you cuddle watching tv, have conversations that aren’t venting, have date nights together, give each other massages, just spend time enjoying each other’s company? I’m betting not. You should carve out time to do those things for yourselves and each other. Two things will happen: you’ll feel closer to each other without having more sex, but also you’ll most likely end up having more sex anyway. When you feel happy and loved and not starved for that connection, I bet you’ll feel a lot more in the mood a lot more often.

    Also, what’s your husband doing to help you GET in the mood? Women tend to have more responsive desire than men do, which is why men are more often ready to go all the time and it can sometimes take women a while longer to get in the right headspace. You’re not responsible for getting in that headspace all on your own. Is your husband making sure the housework is done and the home is tidy to help remove distractions? Is he helping you manage your mother’s favoritism and supporting you with that? Is he helping you remove stress and obstacles from your day to help you relax or is he just adding more stress by constantly asking for sex? If he tried he could do a lot to help you want to have sex with him.

    Look, you are in a really overwhelming phase of life right now and that’s not your fault. But you and your husband need to stick together and work as a team to become a more functional and happier family than you are right now. It’s troubling that your husband’s reaction to conflict is literally running away. It’s not only immature, it’s potentially dangerous. You guys are parents now; what if there was an emergency with one of your kids and he’s unreachable?

    You both have some stuff to hash out and some promises to make to each other about how to love each other better, care for each other better, and fight with each other better and more productively. But if your husband would rather run away than put in the work to be a better partner to you, that’s not fixable.

  2. why is teh ex a shitty person? sahe's the one who went and slept over at some other man's house. The fact he held her accountable for her fuck up doesn't make him mean. She's the one who acts as if it was no big deal but most people don't deal well with what looks a lot like cheating. She doesn't get to taske his kids away from him just because she is irresponsible and selfish

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