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jimmy and Amy. Amber and Toto| https://fansly.com/amy_berry, 22 y.o.
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Date: October 16, 2022
That is cheating. Best friend or not, if she’s sending nudes to anyone other than you without your consent, that’s a huge red flag.
Why would you save it
If he's not compensating in some other way, I don't blame you for your feelings.
Sometimes it's a last straw that puts patterns into greater focus.
If his pattern is nearly complete neglect on his part, he needs a wake up call before he loses you altogether.
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At 22 years old and being male, you're in a very different stage of your life than a 30-year-old female.
For one, women do have a limited time to start a family, while that time is almost unlimited for men – at the very least much less of a factor. However, you are very young to start one, while a 30-year-old woman is well-advised to start soon.
For another, you're at an age where you're either still in college or at the very beginning of your career. You're also pretty much just starting out in your adult life. That's not true for 30-year-olds. They're usually done with college (or going there again to improve themselves – with a plan on how to use what they learn). They are usually established in their careers.
To a mentally healthy 30-year-old, you are like a child. Not a partner.
Alright, well you're only looking at yourself in this situation.
Reletionships take two people to function. And yes, your own mindset and behavior can be playing a role in why you two are disconnected right now… but in general, its not all one persons fault. Normally, both people have contributed to the issues in some fashion.
For example:
I need reassurance meanwhile he always keeps somehow a distance between us, complaining that I don't make him uncomfortable enough (?).
Okay, you're someone who needs reassurance. That can be exhausting for the other person sometimes, but it is also something that should be provided by your partner on occasion, that would be understanding you as a person and delivering what you need.
Instead of providing reassurance for you, what does he do? He creates space. Which makes it worse for you, having the opposite affect. To top it off he complains about how you don't make him uncomfortable enough? I have know idea what that means, which is why I could understand confusion on your end.
Then you went through is phone, obviously not a good thing to do. But you found something undesirable. Instead of being angry and confronting him, you backed down and gave an apology, like you're completely at fault in this situation. You ignored what you found and allowed your guilt to take over.
You're playing this entire situation like you're the one that needs to rebuild trust with him.. that is not the case. He is the one who needs to rebuild trust with you… both of you can be considered at fault here.
You're not thinking hard enough about this girl in his DMs… That means he is openly talking to random women he bumps into. That means he is exchanging some form of personal information (literally impossible to find a person on Instagram without a name or number). Having a random (attractive) women follow you, instead of shutting it down, he was intrigued and sparked up a conversation. Yes, it could have been complete curiosity, but I feel like that was his excuse the moment you found out about it. If you didn't discover it, do you think the conversations what have just been that? He was clearly intrigued by the message, hence him starting it.. you even stated “being a little bit flirty”.
I think you're being to hard on yourself and putting all the blame on yourself, which is not true…
You should grow up. This is exactly why she did not tell you. She knew you would blow this out of proportion.
Why aren’t you allowed to sleep over?
So you let him dictate your day and treat you like you are not worth trusting while he does whatever he wants? Oh girl….
That's not red-pilling though. Red pilling is supposed to mean seeing reality, and he's not seeing reality here. You're missing the lead here, OP kind of buried it. Her husband of TEN YEARS admitted to her that he only married her for her looks and does not like her personality.
Take a minute to process that. He married her for her looks TEN YEARS AGO and didn't like her personality ten years ago.
bending over lmao
he is a rapist.
Do you want to live like this for another 4 years? Longer? Do yourself a favour and break up with him. And move out.
NTA.
I think it’s just a shock, because reality has finally kicked in that you’re both moving on, but that you’ll ultimately get over it quickly.
Separately, you’re just not thinking logically. You said he treated you poorly. You’re now asking how he could be good to her but not you. They just became official. You have no idea how he is or how he’ll be.
Seriously, fuck everyone that uses other people for personal gain without ever giving back.
Worst kind of people out there.
Totally fair. Thanks for your stories. I think if the lack of quality time was the only major concern I would be less worried. Like I said I’m pretty introverted and have always been known to do my own thing. It’s the fact that it’s compounded with all this other stuff that makes me feel isolated.
DONT DO IT. She’ll regret it later and she’ll resent you and herself for it. It will be toxic. Is there a chance this is just burnout? Can you take a parents only trip for a week?
I'm talking about OP being the troll. I wanted to warn you because you were being really open and helpful, and it's wasted on the troll of an OP.
Ever been to Pennsylvania? Anywhere with a beach is exotic in comparison.
Honestly I think it’s ridiculous how people are tracking each other these days.
Either you trust him or you don’t.