You are under no obligation to give anyone a car or $4-5k! Your obligation is to your child! Get your baby out of this horrible situation. Use that money to get out and get your child safe. See a lawyer immediately.
As a recovering woman, I have experienced that early on like in the first few years. However, it’s been a couple of decades now, and actually on the opposite is true. It takes a while to adjust your body. Alcohol is a lot more addictive and harmful than people make it out to be And it takes a while for your body to clear it out. It can make you really tired. I want to sleep a lot to. I don’t know how long you’ve been sober or mostly sober but I’d give it a couple three years. It will adjust again. Until that fake it till you make it I swear you’ll get in the mood once you start.
You can absolutely send a text to the wrong person. I sent a sarcastic text about my boss TO my boss lol.
Anyway, pregnancy is hard on the body, hormones and mental health. Especially if she isn't able to maintain mental health meds due to pregnancy? Pregnancy can be hard on our partners too. They get the brunt of all the ups and downs. Just be present, supportive and seek support for yourself like a family member or close friend.
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
I completely agree. I’d be pissed at him if I were you. Talk to him about what is really bothering him. And tell him that unless he actually helps you are going to carry on without interference from him.
I’m going to have to disagree here. If he was doing this as a kink, then this should have been discussed prior and consent gained. So no, I don’t believe she is being too harsh here. She was assaulted here and had a knee-jerk reaction.
I’m like 50/50 with this. OP is definitely not in the wrong for feeling unattached. At the same time you are totally right there are probably other factors heading into this you don’t just gain 85 pounds in a year. Once those issues are helped a bit I feel her weight will go down naturally tbh
I easily cry when I’m upset or overwhelmed but I’d never cry to cause a reaction. I actually try not to cry around him anymore because it makes him angry. Even when I let it out and was crying myself to sleep he had a go at me for shaking the bed with my sobbing, despite me trying my best to be silent
Exactly. Many abusers KNOW the right things to say to therapists as well, which is why people on here often tell people in abused relationships to NOT do couples therapy.
What do you think you will gain? Emotional satisfaction by telling her off? You might get some short term satisfaction, all it will really do is prolong the process of moving on. Delete the text and forget about it
Okay understood I’m really up to it but i’m not an expert in this How do you think i can give her reassurance without looking silly or a guy who’s just depending on his emotions I don’t know if you got me
And to be honest i’m afraid if i helped her and i changed this she will broke me in the end
Look, your brother isn’t toxic & he’s really all the family you’ve got. You don’t need to hang out & be best friends, but ignoring his calls? I don’t know why you’d do that. If the conversation veers to your parents, you can cut it off, but there’s no reason to not hear what’s going on with him & telling him what’s up with you. You can have a different relationship with your brother than you have had so far. It doesn’t have to be particularly intimate.
What I know is that even though I don’t have a great relationship with any of my siblings, we would all show up for each other if we were needed. There aren’t many people in the world who will always be your safety net – and whether we like it or not, most of the time, family is that.
I dunno i feel like the only one commenting thats addressing they were teasing him about being himself. I know it was teasing, but its clear its one of his biggest insecurities is not being liked for himself. I’m not saying OP did anything wrong exactly, but I don’t think it’s unreasonable he be upset about it? I do think maybe he had a tiny breakdown after feeling like he couldnt make his vows his own way and he needs her support right now.
I know, Im amazed by the fact that she told me… which is a good sign right? But it was pretty recently, it was like … 6 months before we started dating. So she was also freshly out of her last relationship.
So she basically cheated according to her because after several years in a relationship she was in, she felt completely alienated from her boyfriend, and she found someone who was giving her the attention and feeling of desirability she wanted. She actually cheated twice with two different people…
Because of the recentness of it, its hard to feel shes worked through it. Its triggering my like personal betrayal trauma pretty seriously. Basically Im having trouble sleeping right now because im obsessing over these feelings so much, and Im trying to not put it on her much and just dealing with it.. but its come to a head a couple times that I break down and cry and we talked about it. A part of my brain is screaming at me right now, go through her messages and phone and look for dirt… and a part of me is like just end it because if my brain is already going here then its gonna be a hard time… and then my fighter brain is like hell no, im gonna fight my own fears and give her a chance, but my fears are kicking my ass right now.
Right! I've met a few (only 3, so not a vast amount) people who were adopted, and they do not have trauma from it. They love their parents, and their parents love them. They have healthy, loving relationships with their parents.
Adoption can be a great option for both parents and kids, and it absolutely does not always have bad endings
I agree but if you are imagining that the person you are watching,and imagine that you are having sex with that person I think it is a form of cheating especially when you can’t perform in bed with me…idk tho
I thoroughly agree with everyone saying that these are expectations & boundaries to set with specific people when it comes up. I think supposedly a lot of people are excited by new places, etc, or just to be away from the routine of home. But I definitely understand being weirded out by using someone else’s sheets/bed, though.
Sure but it conveys how you’re feeling about living with him. You didn’t even choose good, it’s just “fine” You’re planning a wedding but you don’t sound remotely excited about it. This should be when you’re excited and in love and living together is going good if not great.
He lives with roommates and I still live with my parents. He cares less about items and more about acts of service so I’ll randomly help around the house, help with his laundry, pick up here and there. Do things for him because I enjoy it. We split meals together 50/50 usually and if food is being cooked at home, he’s the better cook so he’ll handle the main course and I’ll do sides and tidy up as he cooks. I’ve told him flowers at frys are $5 and they’re right by the door when he walks in and he’s just never grabbed them. He just doesn’t seem to think about the small things that I ask for
Don't stay in this relationship. You're being blind to all the red flags and you're going to fuck up your life even more.
You are under no obligation to give anyone a car or $4-5k! Your obligation is to your child! Get your baby out of this horrible situation. Use that money to get out and get your child safe. See a lawyer immediately.
As directly “how about me and you have a coffee togetherbon our own
So let her mom in on the truth
Then have a commitment ceremony and legal ties established. But making whole people with someone who’s still just your boyfriend is questionable af.
As a recovering woman, I have experienced that early on like in the first few years. However, it’s been a couple of decades now, and actually on the opposite is true. It takes a while to adjust your body. Alcohol is a lot more addictive and harmful than people make it out to be And it takes a while for your body to clear it out. It can make you really tired. I want to sleep a lot to. I don’t know how long you’ve been sober or mostly sober but I’d give it a couple three years. It will adjust again. Until that fake it till you make it I swear you’ll get in the mood once you start.
You can absolutely send a text to the wrong person. I sent a sarcastic text about my boss TO my boss lol.
Anyway, pregnancy is hard on the body, hormones and mental health. Especially if she isn't able to maintain mental health meds due to pregnancy? Pregnancy can be hard on our partners too. They get the brunt of all the ups and downs. Just be present, supportive and seek support for yourself like a family member or close friend.
One does not give sex toys to women you aren’t involved with
Hello /u/RewardOk3032,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
she can also choose to compromise. compromises aren't automatically bad and forced, many times couple choose to compromise on things
She’ll probably leave you again
He has 3 little kids but starts juice? Why?
I completely agree. I’d be pissed at him if I were you. Talk to him about what is really bothering him. And tell him that unless he actually helps you are going to carry on without interference from him.
Why are you with him? You know he counts you as a woman right? He hates you.
She cheated and she’s a lesbian. Happy birthday!
Okay thank you!
But not an important reason not to hyphenate.
I’m going to have to disagree here. If he was doing this as a kink, then this should have been discussed prior and consent gained. So no, I don’t believe she is being too harsh here. She was assaulted here and had a knee-jerk reaction.
I’m like 50/50 with this. OP is definitely not in the wrong for feeling unattached. At the same time you are totally right there are probably other factors heading into this you don’t just gain 85 pounds in a year. Once those issues are helped a bit I feel her weight will go down naturally tbh
I easily cry when I’m upset or overwhelmed but I’d never cry to cause a reaction. I actually try not to cry around him anymore because it makes him angry. Even when I let it out and was crying myself to sleep he had a go at me for shaking the bed with my sobbing, despite me trying my best to be silent
What does that even mean?
You need to be high while working in the food service industry. Mind your business.
Exactly. Many abusers KNOW the right things to say to therapists as well, which is why people on here often tell people in abused relationships to NOT do couples therapy.
What do you think you will gain? Emotional satisfaction by telling her off? You might get some short term satisfaction, all it will really do is prolong the process of moving on. Delete the text and forget about it
This is child abuse. People having children they can’t support need to be charged for child abuse.
If you have a pet you can’t feed, house or provide vet care for they charge you for animal abuse and remove the pet from that environment.
Bring a kid into the world do the same thing and it’s all good.
We are a F’d up society.
He’s scared that he may need to go find another 20 year old when he’s pushing 50. That’s really hard work.
Grow some balls and break up with her
Okay understood I’m really up to it but i’m not an expert in this How do you think i can give her reassurance without looking silly or a guy who’s just depending on his emotions I don’t know if you got me
And to be honest i’m afraid if i helped her and i changed this she will broke me in the end
Look, your brother isn’t toxic & he’s really all the family you’ve got. You don’t need to hang out & be best friends, but ignoring his calls? I don’t know why you’d do that. If the conversation veers to your parents, you can cut it off, but there’s no reason to not hear what’s going on with him & telling him what’s up with you. You can have a different relationship with your brother than you have had so far. It doesn’t have to be particularly intimate.
What I know is that even though I don’t have a great relationship with any of my siblings, we would all show up for each other if we were needed. There aren’t many people in the world who will always be your safety net – and whether we like it or not, most of the time, family is that.
I think it’s foolish to just write him off.
That creates a huge problem for me because i do not understand what should i say or how even start
I dunno i feel like the only one commenting thats addressing they were teasing him about being himself. I know it was teasing, but its clear its one of his biggest insecurities is not being liked for himself. I’m not saying OP did anything wrong exactly, but I don’t think it’s unreasonable he be upset about it? I do think maybe he had a tiny breakdown after feeling like he couldnt make his vows his own way and he needs her support right now.
What’s wild with vasectomy’s is that after a certain amount of time (I cannot think of the exact number) They can reverse themselves.
Offer the test and also have the Google search up and running.
I know, Im amazed by the fact that she told me… which is a good sign right? But it was pretty recently, it was like … 6 months before we started dating. So she was also freshly out of her last relationship.
So she basically cheated according to her because after several years in a relationship she was in, she felt completely alienated from her boyfriend, and she found someone who was giving her the attention and feeling of desirability she wanted. She actually cheated twice with two different people…
Because of the recentness of it, its hard to feel shes worked through it. Its triggering my like personal betrayal trauma pretty seriously. Basically Im having trouble sleeping right now because im obsessing over these feelings so much, and Im trying to not put it on her much and just dealing with it.. but its come to a head a couple times that I break down and cry and we talked about it. A part of my brain is screaming at me right now, go through her messages and phone and look for dirt… and a part of me is like just end it because if my brain is already going here then its gonna be a hard time… and then my fighter brain is like hell no, im gonna fight my own fears and give her a chance, but my fears are kicking my ass right now.
Yeah. I'm at this point. I'm so upset that he begged me to cook for him last night and then couldn't do the dishes. It takes 20 minutes.
I've lived many years and never received anything for international women's day. It's not really a thing in America, I think it's more European.
Honestly your gf sounds very difficult. You haven't been together that long, it's okay to break up and move on. That's what I would do, in your place.
Bumble will automatically expand your age range when you run low on people.
Right! I've met a few (only 3, so not a vast amount) people who were adopted, and they do not have trauma from it. They love their parents, and their parents love them. They have healthy, loving relationships with their parents.
Adoption can be a great option for both parents and kids, and it absolutely does not always have bad endings
I agree but if you are imagining that the person you are watching,and imagine that you are having sex with that person I think it is a form of cheating especially when you can’t perform in bed with me…idk tho
I thoroughly agree with everyone saying that these are expectations & boundaries to set with specific people when it comes up. I think supposedly a lot of people are excited by new places, etc, or just to be away from the routine of home. But I definitely understand being weirded out by using someone else’s sheets/bed, though.
you should tell him directly, he might be mad and later he'll be thankful. he might have a serious health issue
Throw the whole husband away!!! This is abusive
Sure but it conveys how you’re feeling about living with him. You didn’t even choose good, it’s just “fine” You’re planning a wedding but you don’t sound remotely excited about it. This should be when you’re excited and in love and living together is going good if not great.
Lol
He lives with roommates and I still live with my parents. He cares less about items and more about acts of service so I’ll randomly help around the house, help with his laundry, pick up here and there. Do things for him because I enjoy it. We split meals together 50/50 usually and if food is being cooked at home, he’s the better cook so he’ll handle the main course and I’ll do sides and tidy up as he cooks. I’ve told him flowers at frys are $5 and they’re right by the door when he walks in and he’s just never grabbed them. He just doesn’t seem to think about the small things that I ask for